Spouse has an issues with me getting the surgery

[rmtjones81 1]

Has anyone experienced their spouse being negative about the VSG surgery post-op? I am having a major issue because my spouse feels very negative about how I could turn out post-op (complications, etc.), i've found myself going back to some of the bad habits I had pre-op and I am 15 days post-op . Can anyone relate?

[Carlotta1 401]

Yes my spouse was concerned but he did not have a negative attitude towards it. Just do your part in following what you have to do for yourself to lose your weight. Brush off his negativity or directly tell him that his negativity is not helping you. You had the surgery. So his attitude will not change a thing but upset you. Hope once he sees your progress..he will make turn. Some husbands are fearful knowing the fact that their wives will be more attractive. It would good for u to find out what his motive is. Just so that u cam understand what he is going thru as well.

[skinnygirlwithin 693]

Mine wasnt negative persay... he tried to be supportive, BUT if we were to have a disagreement the first thing that would come up is the surgery & the cost and this & that...OR he would say, your going to lose all this weight & leave me... - this lasted about 3 months - In mid Feb, we had a talk about the above, i had recorded him a few times and when he heard himself, he realized what i was saying... since then, he has been awesome!

During this time, it was a strugle for me to keep on track, it put a lot of stress on me & i found myself going back to bad habbits... but once i realized what i was doing... I took control... i didnt go through all of this for it to be a waste... I put me FIRST for the first time in my life... and you know what, it is paying off... - so try to stay on track & remember you did this for you & no one else... You did this to be healthy! I hope things get better - Good luck to you!!

[swimbikerun 1,039]

I can only say as someone who has a ton of complications that this surgery is worth it. At the same time, so are YOU. Pick your surgeon and their office carefully, not just because you like them but based on more scientific type of stuff.

As for that, ask your husband what his specific beefs are and we can point to scientific evidence for him to allay his fears. I mean if I am an outlier and have no care and still tell people to get the surgery, it makes an impact, why should someone else lose a good chance at life?

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

back to some of the bad habits I had pre-op and I am 15 days post-op .

@@rmtjones81

i have heard/read from this formum that some/many other people have issues with hubby/family not being thrilled with someone else having surgery

there are posts concerning your subject - sorry don't know how to send link

hopefully someone else will pick up the ball

i can only imagine that it makes it harder when hubby/family/friend are not supportive

@@skinnygirlwithin - said correctly - "you did this to be healthy"

15 days PO and doing some bad habits - KNOCK it OFF!!!

you/me/we are/were overweight when we started this process

you made the smart decision to have this surgery

don't second guess yourself now

don't give in to you hubby if he has certain "bad" food around tempting you

take care of you

good luck

kathy

Edited May 20, 2014 by proudgrammy

[rmtjones81 1]

Thanks everyone for your very helpful and supportive advice! Seems his issues are the complications that follow after the surgery, i.e. death, sepsis, malabsorption, etc. I did this for me and you guys are right, why should I allow his negative comments to stop my progress. THANKS ALL!!

[swimbikerun 1,039]

As for death rates, does he want to see the stats on it being = to hip replacements? The issues with death were like for DVT. They give you shots and leg compression for that, and get you up and moving. That happened in the past, and to a coworkers niece but she did all the wrong things and they didn't know better back then. They do now.

So is what he is hearing is up to date? That's why I ask, you need to sit down with him and ask straight out WHAT ARE YOUR SPECIFIC CONCERNS so that you can address those. Otherwise it is going to drive a thorn in your relationship.

As for malabsorption that doesn't happen to everyone. It happens specifically with certain items and that's not a bad thing. With DS it is an issue but not the rest.

So again, you want to meet this head on but with calm strength so that it heightens his ideas about the surgery.