Anyone have advice on telling teenagers about the sleeve?

[annie95 1]

I've seen a lot of posts on here about how to tell friends, family, co-workers, etc. about getting bariatric surgery, and most of the replies recommend being open, which I think is great, however none of the posters I've seen have been in my age range and I worry about getting different reactions since I have younger/more immature friends. I'm 18 years old, and am scheduled to be getting the sleeve in around three months, a bit after I get out of my freshman year of college. I'm pretty short (5'3) so any weight loss I experience tends to become visible very quickly. But I am terrified to tell my friends, all of whom are very thin and tend to be judgmental towards fat people (while constantly assuring me--at 5'3 and 220 lbs-- that I'm "not fat"), and I really don't want to tell them. I'm excited to get the surgery and change my life, but just keep wishing that I had oblivious friends (I don't). I will have a couple of months after the surgery before I see most of my college friends when school resumes, since I live far away from them. Advice?

[annie95 1]

Ugh I posted this twice, I don't know how. I'm going back to try to delete it.

[annie95 1]

Annnndd I can't figure out how to delete it, so sorry for the double post!

[teachingkids2004 22]

I may sound like a teen magazine advice columnist buuuuuuuut if you can't be open with them without fear of ridicule, maybe they aren't the best friends to have around. I understand your feelings, though. You do what's right for you and don't worry what others think.

[rome 156]

Perhaps you don't need to tell them anything :-) When they ask you about your weight loss you can say that you are under a doctor supervised low carb. weight loss program. That is true :-) Whatever you decide to do, it's YOUR story to tell. No obligation to tell anyone if you choose not to.

Good luck!

[katesuccess 990]

Sometimes we can be unintentional about our responses, and then they're hurtful. If you decide to tell them you had surgery, maybe preempt their naysaying a bit by saying something like "I really wanted to tell everyone, but this was a tough choice and I did not need to hear a lot of negative things about surgery or taking the easy way out -- I know as my good friend you will be happy for me and understand!" Or something like that. Since you will have a couple of months postop before you see them you can also tag on how good you feel, how glad you did it, and how you are looking forward to feeling more ready to do some active things with them, and then change the subject if they are being positive! Good luck, I know the friendship thing can be sort of hard navigate when it comes to telling something people seem to think they have every right to weigh in on (no pun intended!).

[Moniquew123 23]

I'm 21, in college and although I'm a couple yrs older I completely understand what you're saying. For the most part my friends are all thin. So when they talk about someone being "big or fat" it tugs a little but I don't expect them to understand. I'm also hoping to get the sleeve soon, hopefully the end of May. I have only told my parents, my niece (she lives with me), & my two closest friends. Although they aren't completely on board, they are supporting me with the decision I'm making. I don't think that you should tell anybody who you don't feel needs to know. This is your choice. Not everyone needs to know your business. When you go back to school after having surgery just tell them you've started eating healthier & exercising like others have mentioned. It's up to you how little or more info you want to give. Then if you want to let them know when you feel comfortable, tell them.

[seanindallas 17]

Personally I'm not advertising, but I'm not withholding either. I've told boss, a few trusted co-workers (and I really don't give two shats about what they think - but they sounded supportive), and family. I'm posting it on our off-time work calendar as 'out of office' with no other explanation for the week.

So far everyone that I've told has been happy and hopeful. They know I've been in serious joint pain and would like to see me more active and overall healthier.

My $.02

[WhoKnows 288]

Obviously it's everyone own personal decision whom they do and don't tell, but I wouldn't tell those girls. Teenage girls (including college girls) can be so horrible, even to friends. And college is always sooo full of gossip. You may want to tell people in a few years, but honestly, if I were still in college, I wouldn't tell anyone if I had to wonder whether it was a good idea or not. If you don't know for sure without having to ask yourself, then don't do it. Like someone else said, just tell them your dieting like crazy, changing your lifestyle, moving more, etc.