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Losing it!

Just found out my surgery was moved up two hours which is wonderful because I was really not looking forward to having dry mouth for that long and hearing my stomach gurgle.

I told my 9 year old today in a very generic way and she is ok with it. Thankfully! Usually she is clingy with me and a drama queen.

Now I have to pack, take my before pictures, and take my measurements. My stomach is a mess!

I feel kind of weepy and nostalgic and sad. I guess just saying good bye to my old life that I was comfortable with is hard even though I know the future is going to be so much better!

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Glad to hear that you're starting to feel a little better. Hang in there!

  • Author

Thank you!

I am down 10 pounds since surgery on Tuesday. This is just unreal. Plus fifteen before that since my consult.

For some reason I can't get my wedding ring off still.

Im pretty sure we all get emotional after bc so much of a change and takes some time to get use to the new u. My tummy still gurgling at 4 months post op so that may not change for u. It took me lil over a week and half to feel "normal" again hang in there. I got so tired of hearing that lol and now I say it :/.

  • Author

Thanks, I am just glad I can sip without feeling like I want to burp every single time!

  • Author

It took me two hours to drink 15 ounces of muscle milk. It's tiring!

I just put unflavored protein powder in some broth. I put in way too much the first time. The second time it was actually really good.

  • Author

I'm feeling really down about not being able to eat real food. I have been hiding in the bedroom because I don't even want to see food. And I don't want to see people eating.

I feel so crabby I just want to cry. I just want something with some substance to it. Just a few bites of eggs or something.....I'm dying here.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way. Sorry, but not surprised from all I've read-this sounds like a lot of newly post op folks. No advice from me, just sympathy. Can you chew on something and spit it out? Just a thought...probably a bad one...

I went through something similar in the beginning & I also hid in my room because I could not stand the sight of food let alone have to smell it. It sucks big time but that too shall pass.

These are all normal stages of the process in the beginning & I am sure there are others who also felt the same way & there will others who follow behing you who may experience similar experiences.

Just stay positive, stay on course, keep your eyes on the prize, & just like life take it all one step at a time. You are doing great & your rewards will be all your NSV's!!!

  • Author

Thank you! I'm glad I'm normal. I went to the dr today and I'm on puréed food for three weeks. So that's good.

They said my heart was racing but I couldn't tell, so they had me do more lab work. I think I was just mad that they charged me $20 for filling out FMLA paperwork. Like seriously? That five minutes is going to kill you? I see that as being part of their service as a medical doctor. It seems so petty and low class to me.

So I was probably just mad at them. I'm hoping that's all it was.

I ate a quarter cup of mashed potatoes and I was full.

Now that I'm eating more normal food, I'm starting to worry about over doing it. I guess everyone does.

  • Author

I don't know what my problem is. I have lost 27 pounds in two months and it's like nothing to me.

I hate that I'm feeling so sick I can't even be happy about that!

I can't even bring myself to take pictures. I kept putting off the before pictures because I just don't want to be reminded of it.

I feel like my shoes are looser. I can see it in my face. But I have lost weight and regained SO many times I just can't even feel happy. Especially when I know I have so far to go.

I know exactly how you are feeling LoveIt,

I too have lost, regained, and with interest too many times, although I haven't had my procedure, I too am worried that I will feel the same way. I'm lucky enough to have not thrown away any clothes yet, so just slipped back into them.......

Good luck Loveit, I'm sure you'll turn a corner, and it will all come together and you will see with you eyes, what is in the mirror, and not what you look like from memory.

If you can't do the photos, get someone near and dear to you to do them.

  • Author

Thanks. I could kick myself!!!!

I will have my husband do them tonight. I think the ones at my highest weight ever would just be too painful to look at over and over.

Maybe I'll try on some old pants and see if they fit.

  • Author

I told my mom I've lost 25 pounds on two months and she just went "wow!" She sees me all the time, maybe she just doesn't notice it?

Or maybe she didn't think it was that much by just looking at me. A lot is coming off my belly which I try to hide so of course people wouldn't know.

I just had a half cup of cottage cheese and wolfed the whole thing down very quickly before I even realized what I was doing! Am I supposed to be able to eat so much just like that already?

I did feel a pain in my back afterward right where my esophagus is.

I'm just scared that my sleeve is too big!

My daughter has had by pass surgery, and I can tell you that it is hard to see, if you see someone regularly, as it comes off all over. And, as you say we tend to hide the worst bits. Sometimes she had a stall with her weight, but her measurements would reduce significantly. And yes, her shoes got big. To be honest, she noticed her weight loss less than we did in the end. Also, I can tell you that no matter what size she was I loved unconditionally. Now, she is beginning to love herself too.

Like most of us that are overweight, we don't really want to have our photographs taken, but if I had listened to her, and not forced the issue we would have no record of how well she has done. But, she did keep the largest pair of trousers that she had worn. Amazingly, she can fit in one leg with plenty of room to spare. So, let them take photos, today is tomorrows history, you'll look back, not just with pain, but with memories of your successful journey.

  • Author

Thank you! I did have a picture of myself from the day I started liquid, so 22 pounds ago. It's just my face and my torso....my god. I can see the difference now!

I just had mashed potatoes and ate them waaaay too fast. I ended up getting painful hiccups and back pain; I had to lay down. So I guess cottage cheese is easy but not potatoes!

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