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If you are anything like me, discipline or strong willpower is not something that comes natural. I have been developing mental toughness throughout the years when it comes to maintaining a healthy weight. Does your mind race with thoughts of eating a smorgasbord of different foods? Is every food going through your mind a carbohydrate loaded with sugar or salt? Do you think, “Let me just eat or drink what I want today, and I will get back on track tomorrow?” Do you go through a plethora of different feelings? You may not even know what you are feeling. All you know is that you are consumed with this urge to eat or drink, many times when you are not physically hungry.


Man, did I feel like that today. I just wanted to check out and lose myself in literally stuffing my face with junk food. I was consumed with thoughts of pizza, nachos and cheese, gummy bears and Ben & Jerry’s New York City super chunk ice cream. Oh, and let’s not forget the peanut butter cup candy. Maybe your favorite question is, “Wine, anyone?” Maybe your choice of food to emotionally zone out is different, but is any of this resonating with you?
So what do I do when this pattern pops up in me? This is where developing mental toughness will get you the desired results you deserve. Below, I am going to walk you through four quick steps that have worked wonders for me in developing mental toughness, and I know they can work wonders for you!
4 quick steps to developing mental toughness:
1. First, realize your pattern of internal dialogue and foods when you are getting ready to emotionally eat or start binge eating. Once you begin to pay attention, you will notice that you crave the same foods every time and that there is an impulse or urge to eat right away. You will have the same automatic dialogue of eating and watching TV or telling yourself you’ll just eat this one time and start fresh tomorrow, etc.
2. Stop and realize you are trying to avoid or escape a bad feeling. We automatically want to feel good. Tell yourself that having a bad feeling is not the end of the world; you are not dying. Take a moment to identify the feeling, where it is in your body and what is it trying to tell you. If you cannot find it, that is okay. Just continue to tell yourself that it is okay to feel bad. Allow yourself to just sit with it.
3. Remember to breathe. Through this time, take deep breathes, letting go with every exhale.
4. Have the mantra: “There is no tomorrow. I only have this moment. What I do right now is the only thing that matters. What I do right now is creating my future.” Repeat this over and over again as you breathe.
You will notice that as you go through this process, the feelings that were leading the desire to eat will lesson; as they lesson, your desire to eat will lesson.
The key to developing mental toughness is to become aware of your automatic behaviors to escape bad feelings. If you follow these four steps every time you have an impulse to emotionally eat, you will create a new pattern of reacting to your feelings. When you have a plan to decrease the number of times you emotionally eat, you will be amazed at how quickly you begin to see results in weight loss!

Clients often tell me one of their biggest challenges after weight loss surgery is eating slowly.


Clients often tell me one of their biggest challenges after weight loss surgery is eating slowly. Eating too quickly means that you are unlikely to chew foods properly. This can cause discomfort, pain and in some cases, regurgitation.
To be able to eat a variety of foods comfortably after weight loss surgery, you really need to concentrate while you are eating. The following tips may help you do this:
Set aside time for meals and avoid doing other things whilst you are eating.
Sit up straight and avoid slouching. Sit at the table rather than the couch. Avoid eating whilst preparing food.
Move away from the television or computer. You cannot focus on what you are eating if you are immersed in something else.
Avoid playing with your mobile phone or other electronic devices.
Avoid getting really hungry. The hungrier you are when you start a meal, the more likely you are to eat quickly, take big bites and not chew properly.
Avoid eating with your hands as you will tend to take bigger bites. Use cutlery to cut food into small pieces. The more pieces you need to cut the longer it will take to eat.
Avoid eating on the run, or in the car.
Put your cutlery down between mouthfuls. Wait until you have swallowed your food before cutting the next piece. Avoid having that next mouthful loaded on your fork ready to go.
If you really struggle to slow down, use your cutlery in the opposite hand until the pace of eating feels more natural.
Choose a relaxing environment to eat. If the staff room at work is too distracting, head outside to a nearby park. Opt for a quiet café rather than a noisy food court, where you may be tempted to rush.
Be especially careful when eating socially, as during conversation it is very easy to become distracted. Eat during a break in conversation.
Avoid the tendency to want to keep pace when eating with others.

Take notice when you do slow down your eating. Do you feel more satisfied? Do you enjoy your food more? Many people report they enjoy food more after surgery as they eat more slowly, allowing them to really taste the food and savour the flavours.
Get in the habit of eating slowly. It could take up to 20 minutes to eat a small meal – between 10 and 20 minutes is a good goal. If there is food left on your plate after this time, discard it. There is a risk of eating too slowly which can turn a meal into grazing, which defeats the purpose of weight loss surgery.
Time how long it takes you to eat your next meal. It may just surprise you!

Great article. Thanks so much for starting this website, I'm finding it so helpful.

Bariatric patients should embrace both of these powerful tools to enjoy long term post surgery success, with food and lifestyle choices, that are faced with well into the future.



The Importance of Behavior Modification and the Role of Personal Accountability


As a bariatric patient care professional, I encourage the following mindset with patients from all surgery time frames and life situations:
Lifelong commitment to pursuing a healthier lifestyle,
Compliance to the recommendations of behavior modification, and
Addressing and grappling with the challenges that are life long

Self-awareness and personal accountability are two areas that are not so obvious when assessing one’s own role in the struggle with obesity. We are aware of genetics, family history, medical co-morbid conditions and life stress that impact each patient’s history of their own struggle with being obese. So how do patients obtain the necessary tools to support the physical presence of bariatric surgery? Through engaging in a solution to the past disappointments of weight loss efforts that are already so familiar.
Many patients report the path to insight and reflection often reveals mental justifications, old bargaining behaviors and frustrations that fuel negativity and inappropriate attachments to and uses of food. Although it is easy to lay blame for many things in life, self-deception only facilitates the repetitive cycle of anger and disappointment. In the professional arena, we often discuss the addictive quality of food and how food has a parallel function in the same manner that other behaviors do, i.e. shopping, drugs and alcohol, sex, gambling and the like. The need for emotional escape and mental distance can encourage us to use food as “anesthesia”, a way of shutting down and shutting out the world around us. We are careful to watch for those cross-addictive behaviors following bariatric surgery and recommend supportive resources across the board. These services provide a safe and secure way to investigate and discuss personal issues that are relevant and central to the patient’s path to success following surgery.
The role of a supportive aftercare program or community of patients, even individual therapy, is a vital component to future success and and be a valuable tool on the road to recovery, helping to smooth the transition and adaptation to new food related behaviors and lifestyle choices. The ability for patient’s to share a parallel experience and be able to “relate” to a certain stage of recovery, or a certain type of struggle with others, will provide an opportunity for engagement and bonding with others. On a therapeutic level, individual counseling can expand one’s degree of awareness and promote a greater sense of personal accountability, once the roots of old behaviors and attitudes have been identified and deciphered. A patient can then restructure their responses to daily challenges that may have been inadequate prior to surgery.
As patients walk the road of recovery from obesity, while engaging in physical as well as emotional healing, the element of discovery and pride is tangible and even contagious. Patients will enjoy improved health, greater energy and a strong positive attitude of self worth; what follows can be a heightened sense of calm, balance and overall peace of mind. Once personal discoveries have been made, individually or in a group setting, bariatric patients can feel a greater sense of control in planning the path in front of them. Commitment and compliance are two key elements that promote post surgery success. As patients employ newfound tools and wisdom on a consistent basis, quality of life can be infinitely better as well as profoundly rewarding.