Hey all- Dooter here. I haven't been on here in a while, but this thought has been plaguing me, and I need to get it out. -Let me preface this discussion by saying I am GLAD I had the sleeve surgery, and I would not change it for the world. I had NO complications and I lost 102 pounds in eight months, and for that I am grateful. I needed to do that quickly for my own sanity and health. HOWEVER- that said-

DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT think for one teeny tiny minute that having surgery and dumping a bunch of weight is going to fix your head and the behavior that got you here. Not gonna happen. During the "honeymoon" period where you can sneeze off five pounds at a time and you're never hungry after your teaspoon of food, you can't imagine EVER returning to old feelings and desires. I am here to tell you that it sneaks back in a little at a time. A taste here, a taste there... "oh look. I've gained a pound. well, that was salty food, I'll just drink more Water tomorrow." HORSE HOCKEY!!!! That's where it starts. Your old head trips creep in. Hiding food. Eating junk now, figuring you'll just shape up "next week" or "tomorrow." Tomorrow never happens and you've gained 30 pounds back. Yes. With your itty bitty stomach, you have gained 30 pounds back. It can happen. Or worse, you gain it all back. That can happen too.

The reason I am writing this and being to harsh about it is that you are a person who is considering, or who has gone through a MAJOR life changing surgery. SO CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!! Be vigilant. come out of that honeymoon with your armor on! You WILL stop losing at one point and your body will begin to fight you as mine has. The diet my surgeon gave me no longer works at this point in the game, as my metabolism is stuck in cold molasses and it has taken a personal trainer/dietitian to get it moving again, and it is majorly hard work and painful and distasteful at times, but I have another 100 lbs to lose AFTER the 30 lb regain is gone.

​Have somebody close to you hold you accountable for exercising and eating right. Splatter it all over Facebook if you have to (I did) so you'll have MANY people holding you accountable! Do what you have to do to reach your goal. Don't settle for less and don't eat crap. And don't think that surgery is the final solution. It's a tool that will get you halfway there. The rest is up to YOU and no one else. Thank you. That is all.

Well said, thanks for the topic, Dooter.

It's my worst nightmare, indeed. I know 2 friends who had by passed a few years ago, both are big bone women and they lost 35 and 52 lbs and stopped losing a while ago. One gained back quite a lot, the other stay the same but both of them never reached their goal weight as they had the by pass, they told me they can eat "normally" just like pre-op. When I got nervous about the food choices, excercise or stalls, one of them would say, no worry it's not easily gainning back! Jeez, that stressed me even more.

I'm not even 3 months out and scared of the last day of the honeymoon period already.

Wish I had heard this before. I became pregnant last sept and let all of those cravings in. I've gained 45 lbs, down 25. I still have 50 to my goal. It seems harder than ever now and I'm back to hating my body, feeling hopeless and ashamed of what I've done to myself.

I was happy to happen upon this thread. I am banded and having a revision to the sleeve. What you are speaking about is the same thing that happens with the band. I feel like a band failure although there are also mechanical issues that can happen. It makes me scared to move forward to the sleeve as I am well aware of head hunger etc and how it can take over. I am going to do all that I can during the honeymoon period to get myself ready for when it's over. I hope that by being aware will be part of the battle.

I am using this post op time to really evaluate my food choices and what I am putting in my mouth. I hope it continues for years down the road! My family has a long history of obesity, and I want to be a good example if I am lucky enough to be blessed with children. I had the sleeve to lose weight and start a family. I'm 33 and I have said every year for the past ten years that I will lose the weight on my own, but I haven't.

I want kids so bad, but as most girls who are overweight know, obesity wreaks have on your cycle and can cause secondary infertility.

I pray that in 18 months when I can start trying that I am blessed with a baby.

I think we have to keep our goals in mind everyday. I know if I sit down one day to eat at a picnic, I will be able to eat a few chips and not the entire bag.

On my pre op diet I was lucky to be able to eat whatever I wanted as long as I remained under 40 carbs a day. I literally counted everything I ate. I had taco salad one night and had 10 bite size tortilla chips crunched on top of the salad. 20 chips had 20 carbs, so if I had 10 carbs from that, I was happy. I didn't feel deprived and was able to still eat normally. I will continue to count carbs as it is the only way I lose weight.

What begins to happen as one moves out of the honeymoon phase? What are the signs that the honeymoon phase is ending?

I am wondering if it's an overwhelming urge to eat that comes one day and is really hard to stop or if it's a more subtle breakdown toward more and more bad habits from our past?

I'm wondering if it's a drive to eat stronger than anything we have ever had before the surgery?

What have people found helps the most to deal with it?

Thank you for any thoughts or insight.

Wow I so needed this thread! Thanks so much for posting. This is exactly what is causing me fear and anxiety about the surgery. I'm not too worried about the actual surgery anymore, but I am getting more and more worried as my surgery date approaches in less than four weeks. I am prone to binging and am addicted to carbs. I'm starting to have serious doubts about my ability to keep weight off after the honeymoon period is over. I feel very confused right now. Should I work on controlling the binging and food addiction first before even getting the surgery? Or can I use the honeymoon period to get those issues under control. I only have one shot at surgery and I want it to be successful.

To anyone who will listen: You can lose weight, stall, gain some weight back, gain all of your weight back, eat slider foods, eat junk foods, or you can work your tool - with ANY WLS. No one surgery is better than another to prevent this, sorry to say.

Well said. I think we have to stay vigilant!!!!

There is an initial time period in which you lose the most weight. The sign that it is over is that you stop losing weight with the diet and exercise you've been doing. You start to feel like you're beating your head on the wall to no avail. That is where i became discouraged and turned to old comforts. I also had a very stressful time in my life right then, and I did not exercise the amount of self control i needed to. I continued to exercise, but the cravings were kicking in, and I was GIVing in. Then i started on the tasty alcoholic drinks. Don't drink your calories. The Grehlin figures out a way to start producing again, and the hunger pangs return. HOWEVER- you DO still have a smaller stomach, so like Diva said, you can still work your tool. Stay with protein and veg first. I strayed from that rule. Still struggling.

When I get hungry, I get almost manic. I suddenly feel like I have no ability to make rational choices. So I was giving in to sugar cravings, and started that ugly cycle. Trying to break that yet again. I AM thankful to still have a small stomach, or i'd weigh 500 lbs by now. So... there's that...

What begins to happen as one moves out of the honeymoon phase? What are the signs that the honeymoon phase is ending?

I am wondering if it's an overwhelming urge to eat that comes one day and is really hard to stop or if it's a more subtle breakdown toward more and more bad habits from our past?

I'm wondering if it's a drive to eat stronger than anything we have ever had before the surgery?

What have people found helps the most to deal with it?

Thank you for any thoughts or insight.

Wow I so needed this thread! Thanks so much for posting. This is exactly what is causing me fear and anxiety about the surgery. I'm not too worried about the actual surgery anymore, but I am getting more and more worried as my surgery date approaches in less than four weeks. I am prone to binging and am addicted to carbs. I'm starting to have serious doubts about my ability to keep weight off after the honeymoon period is over. I feel very confused right now. Should I work on controlling the binging and food addiction first before even getting the surgery? Or can I use the honeymoon period to get those issues under control. I only have one shot at surgery and I want it to be successful.

The issues come back. You must be prepared for that. Like I posted earlier, you WILL still have a smaller stomach, so that's a help, but empty carbs and sugar slide down with no problem and weight gain is EASY if you're eating the wrong foods.

I was happy to happen upon this thread. I am banded and having a revision to the sleeve. What you are speaking about is the same thing that happens with the band. I feel like a band failure although there are also mechanical issues that can happen. It makes me scared to move forward to the sleeve as I am well aware of head hunger etc and how it can take over. I am going to do all that I can during the honeymoon period to get myself ready for when it's over. I hope that by being aware will be part of the battle.

I am very happy that I got the sleeve done and would do it again in a heartbeat. It is a GREAT tool that I have at my disposal, but I have to use it. I will always have food issues, as will most of us on here, so we have to stay on top of it.

Well said, thanks for the topic, Dooter.

It's my worst nightmare, indeed. I know 2 friends who had by passed a few years ago, both are big bone women and they lost 35 and 52 lbs and stopped losing a while ago. One gained back quite a lot, the other stay the same but both of them never reached their goal weight as they had the by pass, they told me they can eat "normally" just like pre-op. When I got nervous about the food choices, excercise or stalls, one of them would say, no worry it's not easily gainning back! Jeez, that stressed me even more.

I'm not even 3 months out and scared of the last day of the honeymoon period already.

That's the proper attitude. Never let your guard down.

Hey Dooter – You totally rock! This is EXACTLY the reason I came to BaritricPal. Like so many others, since the day I decided to have surgery, I've been terrified of what would happen down the line when it gets hard. I'm only 3 months out and still basking in the glow of my honeymoon period, but I know that the wolf is lurking out there. So I'm working now to get my head right for when it knocks on my door. Now here's a delicate question... Can you advise us as to what are the behaviors that lead to "cheating" our sleeves? I know that ice cream and fruit juices are the quickest path to weight gain. But what are some of the other types of eating that we should watch out for? What sneaks in unnoticed over time until it becomes difficult to stop? Is is starches? pizza? Junk food? Candy? Desserts? In other words, are there some foods that would be best left permanently in the past? I worry a lot about my slippery slope, so for now I make choices to avoid all of the "bad foods". But at some point, we're all going to have to increase our calories from 700 to 1200. What are the safe and unsafe ways to do that? Since planning for meals is a strategy for not making bad choices when eating out or at events, I figure that planning for "normal eating", whenever that comes, should also be a good strategy. Thanks to all who had the courage to share their struggles. I wish you nothing but success in regaining control of your journey!!!

Thanks! LOL

Yes, it IS a slippery slope. Here's my advice: If it tastes good, spit it out!! Ok, not quite that bad, but close. Food is no longer a tool of soothing the psyche and de-stressing. It's fuel for the body. I have trouble looking at it that way. I get a craving for something with frosting and LOOK OUT. I'll mow ya down. That's my battle right now. The stinking cravings. If you increase your calories, do it with Proteins, veg, fruit and quality carbs. (brown rice, whole oats, quinoa, etc). Preaching to myself. God help me.

As far as foods being left permanently in the past? In theory, yes, all the "bad" food should be left behind, but I tell you, as soon as you tell me I can't have something- that's all I want. SO- I have to learn to have an altered relationship with these foods. Maybe...get to "x" weight and you can have such and such small treat. I don't know. I'm still learning dude. i'm 45 and still learning to live with food. It's not like crack or booze, you can't just walk away. We have to eat. It will be a life long battle and lesson. I pray you have great success.

I am only 42 days / 6 weeks post-op. So I'm a WLS newb.

But I see so many newly sleeved people -- on this and other forums -- who (as soon as they recover from surgery) start strutting around, pontificating how this surgery is the EASY way to deal with weight problems, proclaiming that they now have this baby licked, swearing they will never gain another pound ever like those weak people who don't keep their weight off.

Obviously, some of these folks are losing significant weight for the first time in their lives and think they've died and gone to heaven. Some of them are just young and stupid (sorry, kids). Some of them of them are on an emotional high from the no-ghrelin/no-appetite phenomenon, which they assume will continue forever.

Not me. I've been up and down the scales via serious diets 30-40 times in my life. Each time I've lost 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, nearly 70 pounds. I've done everything you've ever heard of. And now I've paid someone to cut out 85% of my stomach.

When you have that kind of lifelong dieting history, having dared to hope each time that it was the miracle cure, you develop a healthy skepticism and, of course, start to see patterns in what sent your weight right back up the scale:

* Personal, family and job stresses

* Physical disabilities (which increase as you age)

* The idiotic idea that you're doing this to "reach goal" -- when there actually is no finish line

* The idiotic idea that when you "reach goal" you now deserve a prize (usually one with calories)

* The sugar and carb and fat addictions that were non-existent while you abstained, but become roaring monsters after you eat the first Pasta dinner, ice cream, hamburger with fries, etc.

* The feelings that spur your compulsions to soothe those feelings with food (usually carbs)

* The shame and the disappointment that you've regained (so quickly!) 5 pounds, which sends you another 5 and then 10, then 20, then more.

Anyone who imagines that WLS will hold at bay the effects on us that future illness and death and bitchy people and rainy weather and financial problems and bad haircuts and the election of idiots and terrors on the evening news is due for disappointment.

So the only things I'm really counting on WLS to do for me is to give me (I'm guessing) close to one year to practice eating less than I used to eat; eating Protein first, veggies second, and (if there's room left) some more highly processed, but still healthy carbs; drinking at least 64 ounces of liquids every day; taking my vitamins/minerals; moving my ass significantly most days, and one more thing: learning to recognize what makes me reach compulsively for food to soothe myself and learn some new ways to soothe myself without food.

I wasn't this smart over 60 years ago. But I'm smarter now.

Edited September 29, 201411 yr by VSGAnn2014

Oh, and you know what was a WAY easier way to lose weight than WLS?

Diet pills and speed.

Now, THAT was the easy way to lose weight.