Family plunged into panic mode :(

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

If I remember correctly RJ, you have only started working out with a trainer within the last few months. I think I remember you posting about starting with a trainer. Maybe this increase in calories burned with the exercise means that you should increase your calories a little too. You will still be changing your body (maybe getting rid of the spare tire you talked about) through the exercise but preventing your blood sugar drop. I have never had a problem increasing calories 2 tablespoons of Peanut Butter alone is 200 calories! You can just add that and its relatively healthy and Protein full. Good Luck.

Yes I am working out with a trainer and I did increase my caloric intake...I eat 1/2 a complex Protein Bar before he comes and 1/2 after. It seems to have made my blood sugar settle.....

Can't eat peanut butter..allergic

When you exercise you burn calories in the following 48 hours after you do the sets. that is what is worrying my family. That I am not taking in enough for the long haul.....

I talked to my trainer today and he said that he understood where they are coming from and where I am coming from but that this is my journey......And he has already told me how much I need to increase in calories but they don't agree. They think it is not enough.......

I need to settle down and do what I do and be who I am and hope they will see I am okay....

[Patsypatrice 44]

I hope I can say the same thing someday. My surgery is Wednesday 2/26 and my friends and family are against it so I will probably hear the same thing when I start losing. But what an exicting journey to see how far you have come in your whole life. More power to you!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Does your family actually think that with the amount of food you are eating that you will starve? That would only happen if you are somehow unable to absorb any nutrients. Your doctors have not indicated that that is a problem for you.

You will level out.

Just like when we used to eat just a little more and eventually the weight caught up with our eating, your weight will eventually settle at the reduced level you are eating now. That is my unprofessional opinion.

Or is their problem aesthetics? They need to have patience until you are "done". You are a remake in progress.

Hang in there, my friend.

I think they are thinking that if I keep eating the way I do I will continue to lose weight forever you know.....they know that I am going to have plastics and that will remove 20-25 lbs of skin...That is what they are concerned with....You know that I have been so sick through this and it seems that nothing ever gets completely fixed...So I struggle with stuff every day....They are trying to protect me...I know that..The other day in the supermarket a woman behind me lost it when I dropped a container of milk. I lost my grip on it because I have nerve damage from the intravenous needles they used when I was in a coma....

My daughter lost it and told her right off.....I asked her why, and she said she doesn't know you. She doesn't know why you dropped the milk. She doesn't know what you have been through. You weren't going to tell her off so I did....... she was mad all day about it.....It is like it is all still so close to the surface a year later.

I am being smothered again......so hard to handle it when I am already working on so much now....

Just needed to vent a little!

[gmanbat 5,889]

Vent away, my friend!

I must say I admire your daughter for standing up for you. I would have done the same thing. I know me. I try to be nice but when someone goes after my loved ones everything goes red.

You'll get through this. I am glad you have concerned family. Love hurts sometimes but it lets you know it's there.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Vent away, my friend!

I must say I admire your daughter for standing up for you. I would have done the same thing. I know me. I try to be nice but when someone goes after my loved ones everything goes red.

You'll get through this. I am glad you have concerned family. Love hurts sometimes but it lets you know it's there.

The woman was wickedly angry at me.....But she let her have it both barrels..I did not even flinch..I am used to going slow since this all began......she just fumed all day after that.....

[CBT 450]

Hi RJ!

I have so many thoughts about this issue. I'm 6 days post ops plastics after losing 135#. I am a little loopy but I thinky points will come across.

Are you hungry? Eat more. Like previous poster said. High quality foods like avocado, etc.

You do need to eat well before and within 20 minute after finishing a work out.

Half a bar is not enough if you are working out for 45 minutes or more.

As an example, I eat half cup oatmeal with 2/3 cup soy milk and an egg over the two hours before I workout.

The bar sounds perfect post work out.

I would expect your body composition to change as you add muscle/lean muscle. You lift weights to protect lean muscle in weight loss, primarily. (Your goals can change around this in maintenance) If you don't eat enough, your body will metabolize (eat) your lean muscle. (Lean muscle includes your heart and other vital organs.) If you train like an athlete you have to eat like an athlete. They too are paying very close attention to body fat.

I think family members and close friends go through their own changes. They have years of different body markers for us and our change is dramatic. They need to trust you and your team. It's hard because they worry.

The scale is but ONE tool we use to evaluate wellness. Don't let them get fixated.

A consult with a plastic surgeon will (should) give you a lot of information about your current body. S/he will tell you what you need to do and the state your body needs to be in for surgery but more importantly to wound heal and recover. And ultimately to get the best result.

We have a hard time seeing it objectively because the hanging and lose skin just feels emotionally/psychologically like a fat suit that's too big. A plastic surgeon can visualize the outcome. Sounds like you are very close and need that info. 5 pounds is a lot in plastic surgery. That's what my surgeon just removed. Visualize 5 pounds of hamburger. It's a lot of skin which is denser than hamburger.

Hang in there. Keep talking with people but trust your instincts. This is your body, your journey. You're the driver who get to decide who is on your bus.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Hi RJ!

I have so many thoughts about this issue. I'm 6 days post ops plastics after losing 135#. I am a little loopy but I thinky points will come across.

Are you hungry? Eat more. Like previous poster said. High quality foods like avocado, etc.

You do need to eat well before and within 20 minute after finishing a work out.

Half a bar is not enough if you are working out for 45 minutes or more.

As an example, I eat half cup oatmeal with 2/3 cup soy milk and an egg over the two hours before I workout.

The bar sounds perfect post work out.

I would expect your body composition to change as you add muscle/lean muscle. You lift weights to protect lean muscle in weight loss, primarily. (Your goals can change around this in maintenance) If you don't eat enough, your body will metabolize (eat) your lean muscle. (Lean muscle includes your heart and other vital organs.) If you train like an athlete you have to eat like an athlete. They too are paying very close attention to body fat.

I think family members and close friends go through their own changes. They have years of different body markers for us and our change is dramatic. They need to trust you and your team. It's hard because they worry.

The scale is but ONE tool we use to evaluate wellness. Don't let them get fixated.

A consult with a plastic surgeon will (should) give you a lot of information about your current body. S/he will tell you what you need to do and the state your body needs to be in for surgery but more importantly to wound heal and recover. And ultimately to get the best result.

We have a hard time seeing it objectively because the hanging and lose skin just feels emotionally/psychologically like a fat suit that's too big. A plastic surgeon can visualize the outcome. Sounds like you are very close and need that info. 5 pounds is a lot in plastic surgery. That's what my surgeon just removed. Visualize 5 pounds of hamburger. It's a lot of skin which is denser than hamburger.

Hang in there. Keep talking with people but trust your instincts. This is your body, your journey. You're the driver who get to decide who is on your bus.

Thank you for your post...i am in the process of finding a surgeon. it is a good idea to let him decide where I need to be. I am supposed to see him before July....

[LipstickLady 25,682]

When did your entire family graduate med school?

[CBT 450]

Thank you for your post...i am in the process of finding a surgeon. it is a good idea to let him decide where I need to be. I am supposed to see him before July....

I think given your current situation, sooner is better than later for consult. What is it about July?

Also I forgot to mention that my PS said the other thing they take into consideration is how much more weight you'll lose while recovering, because even though you are inactive, your metabolism triples to heal you so you will lose weight in addition to the skin and/or fat the surgeon removes. They like to have room for that to give you best results.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Where did you hear that surgery speeds metabolism?

[CBT 450]

Where did you hear that surgery speeds metabolism?

I didn't hear surgery speeds metabolism. That sounds way too generalized and is not my intended message.

My plastic surgeon told me my metabolism will triple post op in order to heal. I had circumferential lower body lift, mastopexy and breast augmentation. It takes a lot of nutrition and rest to heal these procedures. But the Circumferential LBL is the big deal because it involves large sections of the lymphatic system, separation of facia from muscle, tissue trauma, etc.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'd love to see research on the idea that metabolism will triple post op. Not challenging you, this is just a curious thing to hear. I've had several major surgeries and never was this mentioned as a side effect.

[kltklass 144]

RJ, I want to tell you how proud I am of you.

As a social worker-in training, I am taught to focus on a person's strengths. Let me tell you, you have an abundant amount of strengths: brave, friendly, kind, and caring, intelligent, humorous, empathic, disciplined, gratitude, determined, and inspiring (just to name a few).

I understand you have recently started with a trainer, however, have you thought about seeing a counselor? I believe those of us that have body issues from obesity need to see someone professional to assist them on their journey. Many of us have body dysmorphic disorder, which affects the way we view our bodies (I personally look in the mirror and still see the morbidly obese person even thought I have lost a lot of weight). I do not know if this will truly change once we reach our goal weight.

There comes a time when we have to focus on something other than the number on the scale. That being said, how are you feeling? Do you feel healthy? Can you participate in life without physical discomfort cause by weight issues? I think these are a better barometer than the number on the scale.

Your family LOVES you and wants to have you in their lives for a long time to come. Your forum family loves you and wants to continue to hear from you for a long time to come. Please understand your families concerns are founded in love.

As someone said earlier, consult with the plastic surgeon and discuss the options with your family. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You are an inspiration for those of us that are still struggling in our battle over weight.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

When did your entire family graduate med school?

Well actually my daughter is a nurse and she works on a floor where most of the patients there suffer from weight related issues like bulimia, anorexia and other life threatening illnesses due to eating disorders...... So i do take her seriously kid...

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Thank you for your post...i am in the process of finding a surgeon. it is a good idea to let him decide where I need to be. I am supposed to see him before July....

I think given your current situation, sooner is better than later for consult. What is it about July?

Also I forgot to mention that my PS said the other thing they take into consideration is how much more weight you'll lose while recovering, because even though you are inactive, your metabolism triples to heal you so you will lose weight in addition to the skin and/or fat the surgeon removes. They like to have room for that to give you best results.

My team is setting up an appointment for me to see the plastic surgeon when I go for my next appointment. That is why I said July