My fat girl moment that made me invisible.........

[SlowlybutSurely 73]

Why do people think that fat (obese, corpulent, BBW, etc.) people are fair game for jokes, ridicule, and embarrassment? I personally don't understand why anyone think that picking at/on another human being simply because they are different is funny but there are all types of ignorant, self-centered, mean spirited and plain stupid people in this world.

I work for the government but on a small college campus and one day last spring ('13) I was walking on campus right before school started and these guys riding by took it upon themselves to holler out their window and comment on my weight. "D#@! you fat". I assume they figured I didn't hear them so they so helpfully repeated it again. I ignored them and didn't even look back and figured I'd just not let it bother me but of course, as any normal person with feeling would, I did let it bother me. For the last year, all I've been hearing in my head over and over again is that voice that shouted "D*#@ you fat". When I'm at work and getting ready to make a presentation I hear that voice. When a guy looks and smile at me, I hear that voice and walk away. Sometimes when I'm just watching TV I hear that voice. I find that I'm keeping my head down as much as possible because I don't want to see anyone looking at me and thinking "D#@% you fat". I do what I can to make myself invisible no matter what I'm doing. I won't even wear jewelry or shoes that I think would draw anyone's attention. I can't help but wonder if this will change if/when I lose the weight because trying to be invisible is harder than trying to lose weight.

Edited February 9, 2014 by BamaBoo64

[Texasmeg 568]

It seems to me that it weight is the last socially acceptable physical aspect to make fun of or criticize. Do you remember the movie Shallow Hal? It was disgusting.

I'm sorry you went through this and hope that you can put it behind you. Internalizing it is really hurting you more than the original comment. I think the comments will end as we loose weight, but nothing will change if we can't let go of that pain.

[Susysleever 265]

I so would be offended. But I would give it back to them.

Edited February 9, 2014 by Susysleever

[Miss Mac 6,261]

One thing I learned as a survivor of domestic violence is that a person can get so used to the abuse that they start abusing themselves. That correlates to how strangers treat us, too.<br /><br />Just because they were small minded green meanies does not mean that you have to isolate yourself and withdraw from a full life. Embrace yourself as you are and be bold. Wishing you good luck and good health. Hopefully as you lose the weight that is holding you down in body and spirit you will be able to help someone else along the way.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I could write a book of the insults and rude remarks and ignorant comments that were made at my expense. All walks of life can be classless. I even had Doctors treat me like I was a piece of dirt under their feet...

I stopped looking at the ground and started looking them right in the eye. Most lowered their heads but there were others who found that as encouragement to abuse me further.

Now at a loss of 182 lbs. I am not noticed at all. I can go anywhere and wear what I want and don't even get noticed at all. No one even recognizes me who pass by me that I have known for years. Now I am truly invisible.... I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hopefully one day I can put it all behind me..But nothing infuriates me more then someone abusing another person because they feel it is their right to..Their right to be entertained by another persons hardships or how they look or any other circumstances that free people to say what they decide is okay....

I will never let it go by me again..I will step up and defend anyone that is having that done to them......I have learned that if you don't...People will always think it is okay!!!!!!!!! And it is not!!!

[MN_Thin0211 17]

I am so sorry this happened to you, but unfortunately, people are very cruel and narrow minded when it comes to obese people. I guess they think it's okay or that we don't have feelings. This homeless-looking guy with no teeth and a 40 oz called me a fat bitch outside of my office. My husband is in great shape and people stare sometimes when we go out together. It hurts....I just try to focus and I don't get caught up in the "I'l show them" mindset because then they continue to have power over me. I am doing this for me...

Love.

[greensleeve 457]

<p>Why do people think that fat (obese, corpulent, BBW, etc.) people are fair game for jokes, ridicule, and embarrassment? I personally don't understand why anyone think that picking at/on another human being simply because they are different is funny but there are all types of ignorant, self-centered, mean spirited and plain stupid people in this world.</p> <p> </p> <p>I work for the government but on a small college campus and one day last spring ('13) I was walking on campus right before school started and these guys riding by took it upon themselves to holler out their window and comment on my weight. "D#@! you fat". I assume they figured I didn't hear them so they so helpfully repeated it again. I ignored them and didn't even look back and figured I'd just not let it bother me but of course, as any normal person with feeling would, I did let it bother me. For the last year, all I've been hearing in my head over and over again is that voice that shouted "D*#@ you fat". When I'm at work and getting ready to make a presentation I hear that voice. When a guy looks and smile at me, I hear that voice and walk away. Sometimes when I'm just watching TV I hear that voice. I find that I'm keeping my head down as much as possible because I don't want to see anyone looking at me and thinking "D#@% you fat". I do what I can to make myself invisible no matter what I'm doing. I won't even wear jewelry or shoes that I think would draw anyone's attention. I can't help but wonder if this will change if/when I lose the weight because trying to be invisible is harder than trying to lose weight.</p>

There's nothing worse than guys in college. I'm so sorry that happened to you. They are idiots.

I lived in a college town for a long time and was often hooted and hollered at for various reasons. One time I was literally wearing a huge long coat, boots, a huge hat and scarf. I could have been a man. It was freezing and these idiots still honked the horn and screamed and hollered at me.

It's a stupid thing that young men do to feel better about themselves, whether they are dying you are fat or are whistling at women both are meant to make you feel like you are less than human and just an object.

So what you are fat? That's like them saying "you are blonde! Hey you are blonde!" Um ok???? As you know you can lose weight but they can't grow their tiny penises any bigger.

It's easy to scream at people from behind the wheel of a car if you are an insecure idiot.

Honestly after your surgery you will probably have boys hooting at you for being hot. That's what they do. I would keep a phone and next time that happens start videoing them and tell then you will put it on YouTube and Facebook.

[Margie14 31]

I don't go out much anymore because I'm tired of people being so rude, but my daughter is in college and suffers with PCOS. She is overweight, but a pretty, smart (she is a honors student), and talented child. She wanted to join the music club as she is a talented percussionist and was actually the captain of her high school drumline in her senior year. She asked a guy who was in the club when the club met and he was really nice to her and made her feel welcome to join. She went to one meeting, missed the next one, and on the third one she slipped in with a group and heard one of the guys asking where the "obese" drummer chic was plus a couple of fat comments. A few people who saw her there tried to hint to them that she was actually there. Too late! The nice guy (so she thought) was one of the ones in the group laughing at the comments. She slipped out and refuses to go back now. She was in a lot of pain that day to say the least. Her pain is my pain and I felt every word. All I could do was hold her and cry with her. She is lonely and I don't know what to do for her. The world is so cruel. You know, I can take it as I know I'm fat, but I can't bare it when my children are hurt. I'm tearing up just writing this down! Anyway, she is on metformin and a strict diet now and if that doesn't help her lose we are setting her up with my surgeon and starting the process. I'm the guinea pig to see how it goes and if it goes well she will be next. If she can't get approval through our insurance I'm looking at Dr. Alvarez in Mexico. One way or another I'm going to help her have a normal life. She has had enough mental damage and cruelty over this. She put on 30 lbs. in six months her junior year for no reason and I new at that point it was more than just diet and exercise (she actually was eating like a bird and complaining about her friends eating like pigs and being so skinny! Damn PCOS!). She was extremely active too.

[Comfy_Blue 285]

Even though I was much smaller in high school and college, i have had people make fun of me for everything from wearing glasses, to having a Book poking out my backpack, to not listening to rap music. When I dyed my hair blonde, i was accused of being "fake". When i dyed my hair black i was called a wanna be Goth.

It doesn't feel good but what i have learned from it is that (stupid) people are ALWAYS going to have something negative to say. you can be the embodiment of physical perfection and beauty and someone is going to be nasty just because.

still, i'm sorry you had to experience it. I remind myself that people who are truly happy with themselves don't have to belittle others. If you have beauty and happiness inside, that's what you project. If you are full of ugliness and have issues with yourself, then that's what you project.

Plus college boys are idiots. I remember my college boyfriend, his friend and I were walking to class when a girl who was probably like a size 20 or 22 walked across our path. The idiot friend (who was bug eyed, gangly and used to beg for food from other student because he used his meal plan money to buy a guitar, new clothes and other crap) burst out into laughter and gawked so hard like she had 10 heads, was purple, weighed 1,000lbs and was riding a unicycle.

He immediately started up with the fat jokes and kept trying to get us to join in. We both just kind of looked at him and bf was like "so, she's heavy. Why do you care?" And i was like "yeah. how would you feel if she was laughing at you for being scrawny?"

Immediately his friend tried to backpedal and say he was just kidding around and it was cool she was big and more power to her.

I feel like people say stupid sh-- like that to fit in. I'm sure if we had jumped on the fat band wagon, it would've kept up. Screw those guys.

Edited February 10, 2014 by Comfy_Blue

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I don't go out much anymore because I'm tired of people being so rude, but my daughter is in college and suffers with PCOS. She is overweight, but a pretty, smart (she is a honors student), and talented child. She wanted to join the music club as she is a talented percussionist and was actually the captain of her high school drumline in her senior year. She asked a guy who was in the club when the club met and he was really nice to her and made her feel welcome to join. She went to one meeting, missed the next one, and on the third one she slipped in with a group and heard one of the guys asking where the "obese" drummer chic was plus a couple of fat comments. A few people who saw her there tried to hint to them that she was actually there. Too late! The nice guy (so she thought) was one of the ones in the group laughing at the comments. She slipped out and refuses to go back now. She was in a lot of pain that day to say the least. Her pain is my pain and I felt every word. All I could do was hold her and cry with her. She is lonely and I don't know what to do for her. The world is so cruel. You know, I can take it as I know I'm fat, but I can't bare it when my children are hurt. I'm tearing up just writing this down! Anyway, she is on metformin and a strict diet now and if that doesn't help her lose we are setting her up with my surgeon and starting the process. I'm the guinea pig to see how it goes and if it goes well she will be next. If she can't get approval through our insurance I'm looking at Dr. Alvarez in Mexico. One way or another I'm going to help her have a normal life. She has had enough mental damage and cruelty over this. She put on 30 lbs. in six months her junior year for no reason and I new at that point it was more than just diet and exercise (she actually was eating like a bird and complaining about her friends eating like pigs and being so skinny! Damn PCOS!). She was extremely active too.

That is so sad.. I am so sorry. I hate these weak minded people who are so fragile in their minds that they would get pleasure out of something like this... Obviously their parents never taught them that if you haven't got anything nice to say shut the hell up!