Keeping it a secret?

[Doddie63 6]

Allison I am so sorry about your sister. When we make a life saving decision, we assume others will be supportive instead the insidious jealousy sets in. In a previous post, I told of my sister's reaction and how she has not spoken to me civillaly since. I totally know what you are going thru. Stick with your decision. The life you save will be your own. Good luck

[ebinsc 0]

So far I've only told my husband, my mother and 1 close friend from work. My mom told the preacher and a close family friend.

I've decided at least for now not to tell any other co-workers. I've heard a lot of them make comments that tell me they have unsupportive attitudes towards weight loss surgery - they seem to believe people should be able to do it on their own. I don't feel like having to defend my decision to people who have never had a weight problem and are pretty close-minded in general.

As for friends and family, I imagine as time goes on I will tell more people especially as I see some success. I'm going to the beach with about 10 close friends only 2 weeks after surgery, so I'm sure it will come up when they see me not eating anything but thinned down grits and cream of wheat.

[Carrie_C 9]

I haven't told my coworkers either, and it has been a little hard to keep it a secret from them. I had to tell a lie about why I needed off, and I really hated lying. But they are the same as others, they are against weightloss surgery. And we are nurses in a doctor's office! We deal in pain management and they always have comments about patients who have had WLS, but they also have negative comments about patients who are overweight. And the ironic thing is, they are all FAT too! I am also having trouble with my husband not being very supportive. He keeps bringing up all the bad stuff that can go wrong, like I need to hear that. And my mother is just totally avoiding the subject. I kinda wish I hadn't told her.

[rockchick 0]

I can relate to you all on here. I have only told 3 people, my husband (not very supportive, but is doing his best, bless him) my boss at work (who I trust not to blab!) & a female friend, who doesn't really understand but hasn't judged me for my actions.

I know my family won't be very supportive, despite both my parents having weight issues. My dad is the worst, he put me on my first diet at the age of 9 & has continued to belittle me infront of others for the last 30 years. He would sit, stuffing his face with biscuits after a two course meal & call me names for having a fat-free yogurt after eating a plate of salad! And I wonder why I have issues!!! Plus my sister has never weighed more than 7 stone (apart from being pregnant & then she lost ALL her baby weight in a matter of weeks!) & she can eat anything & everything without gaining an ounce! I refuse to put myself in the firing line by telling them, though I am wondering how I will keep it a secret!! They don't live nearby, so when I go to visit, I go for the day. I had my banding done on 30th April, so I'm still on the liquid stage, but I'm dreading going to visit, as I'm overdue seeing them & I'm panicking about how I can keep it all a secret! Once I'm passed the mushy stage, I should be ok before my first fill, but I can't put it off till then, as that isn't for another 3 weeks! I think my mum might understand, but I don't want my dad or sister to know, so I don't want to put her in the situation of keeping it a secret.

I haven't admitted it to anyone at work, other than my boss, as they are all so bitchy! I would be the subject of gossip for weeks & I know that they would take great delight in me failing & would be grilling me on a daily basis over how much I had lost. :thumbup:

It feels so good to admit this to people who are in the same situation & understand. Its a bit sad that we feel we can't talk to our nearest & dearest, isn't it! But atleast we have each other!!

Good luck to you all! My thoughts are with you.

Suzi :biggrin:

[Carrie_C 9]

I know what you mean about bitchy coworkers, I have several! I haven't told my Dad, only because I know he will worry about me too much during the surgery. He is 70 and had triple bypass not long ago, so I don't want him to be stressed about me. I will probably tell him later on. (My Mom and Dad are divorced and they never talk, so no chance of her telling him).

[rockchick 0]

Carrie,

Thanks for your reply. I can relate totally to what you're saying & even though we're on different sides of the world, I think we're in very similar situations. Its good to know I'm not the only one who feels the need to keep it all to myself.

If you ever need to talk, send me a message!

Suzi

[Carrie_C 9]

Thank you!

[coltorismom 0]

At first, when I was contemplating the decision, I thought of it best to tell a limited # of FAMILY & FRIENDS. However, when my insurance approved it, I was so excited. So then, keeping my surgery plans a secret was about like being ENGAGED & not telling everybody OR (my personal favorite) being pregnant with my kids & not telling everybody. I'm too spirited for my own good & have trouble containing myself!!

[tapshoes 2]

No parent, siblings, offspring, friends, and absolutely no co-workers! My coworkers (like many mentioned here) are a gossipy group who like to pass judgement on all matter of things. Only 1 co-worker has been brazen enough to question/comment on my weight loss...my response: "I can't believe you would ask such a personal question." Since then, no questions!

[njudono 0]

I told everyone about my decision. I am in sales and I have to take people out to eat and i will not be able to eat the way I use to. So i told some of my clients that I do take out to lunch. I told my family because I wanted their support. At first they were not supportive but they are coming around. But for me i cant hold Water. So i knew I would tell people. and when people see me after my weight loss I know they will ask.

[Carrie_C 9]

tapshoes, that is a great response! I will have to remember that one!

[Bandana 0]

My husband, mother, sister and 2 close friends know. I wouldn't tell my Dad for fear of his responses. So when I recently went to visit my parents for a couple of days right after a fill, I told my Dad I was on a liquid diet to lose weight and he was supportive and helped me find Isopures in Florida. A little white lie won't hurt.

I also like tapshoes response. I don't want anyone watching how much or what I am eating and definitely don't want their negative comments.

[Tyler883 0]

I am really sorry for starting another thread on the same topic. If the moderators see this post, could you please merge my thread into the larger thread?

Thank you

Tyler

[Bandsternan 0]

You go girl!!!

[Chris4815 0]

Is it possible to keep it a secret from everyone? I am a very private person when it comes to certain subjects. I love my friends and family but there are several subjects I do not discuss with anyone and weight related would be one of them. I have been tossing around the idea to get this done with out telling anyone(friends, family). I think I can handle myself post-op to get back to the hotel or back home(depending on how I feel).