Newbie Here

[CherylMomO4 4]

Hello All. My name is Cheryl. I don't know where to begin with my introduction; my apologies if I skip around here. My journey to WLS started 3-4 years ago at about 214 lbs...I'm only 5 ft tall. I went to the meetings, classes and appts at Kaiser in Northern CA. I was excited about having WLS and the only restriction I had before my surgery was to lose 10% of my weight...21 lbs!! Well, I couldn't do it. No matter how enthusiastic I was I cannot get myself under control. I am a quitter. As the months flew by I still did my monthly phone check in; even though I was on the fence if I wanted the surgery or not. Finally in August on 2013 I started Weight Watchers, so far I have lost 15 lbs. I didn't think much about having the surgery, some months I was against it. Soon after I started WW; I was against surgery. I figured if I really wanted to loose weight bad enough I will suddenly be a perfect eater and the weight will fall off. Either I eat really well or I exercise really well; I can't seem to do them both at the same time. The possibility of surgery wasn't really a reality until the nurse called and said I was 5 lbs away from my goal and I should make an appt with the psychologist. Since I made the appointment for 1/28/14 almost nothing else has been on my mind. Am I really fat enough to have SURGERY?? Will I put my body through that just to be thin? Will I loose my hair to be thin?? Will I look horrible with that sagging skin on my face and body?? Will I get too skinny?? My friend has been on WW for just over a year and has lost 70 lbs, if She can do it why can't I?? Since I cannot get my eating under control now what makes me believe that I can do it after surgery or even the pre-op diet?? My eating is mental. I hardly eat when I'm hungry.

My mind is crazy with questions!!

At the time of the phone call I was only about 30% for the surgery; now I am about 75%. One of the biggest reasons why the change is I logged onto SparkPeople; I hadn't been on in a long time. I saw my "join" date and it was 2008!! It made me realize I have been fighting this losing battle for more than 6 years! I am pretty ashamed that I need or want this tool to loose weight. I have only told my youngest child, age 14, and he said "Mom, you're doing great just keep at it" He likes me squishy but wants me healthy. I'm afraid to tell anyone else. I work at home and wondering if I should even mention it to them. If I'm out a day or two they really wouldn't notice. Why am I ashamed? I have a lot of soul searching to do. It's only a week and a half till my psych appt and a sleep study the week after. I do not know how long after that surgery is scheduled.

Thank goodness for this forum. I found you last night and see there are other "light weights" that have the surgery. I feel in good company.

[TJL 222]

Hi Cheryl, it's totally fine to have all those questions about if you should have the surgery or not, I think that we all had them at one time or another, please keep your appt with the psychologist, you can relay some of your fears to him. If you are anything like me(and it sounds like you are!), we tend to put everyone else before ourselves. I too thought that I should be able to lose weight by myself without the surgery, but, like you I had been trying for a long, long, time and I just couldn't budge it without the tool of weight loss surgery. Please poke around the site here and read lots of the subjects, you will see that we all have some kind of issues but with the surgery it makes it possible to finally lose weight. That be said, welcome to the site, I hope that we can help a little.

[Jenny12 361]

Hi Cheryl! You're in great company here, welcome aboard. I was also a lightweight. I'm 5'2" and my starting weight was 206 lbs. I'm now one year out at 116 lbs and maintaining easily here. Congratulations on losing 15 lbs with WW, that's excellent. Only you will know if this is the right decision for you. I don't want to push you in either direction, because it's really such a personal journey. You should try to be really honest with yourself and whether or not this WW lifestyle is something you can keep up on your own without a weight loss surgery tool. Personally, the answer was no for me. I needed extra help, and the sleeve has been an enormous help to me. But it's a lifestyle change. You have to change your relationship with food for this to work. Many people in my life simply thought I wasn't fat enough for surgery, but I definitely felt fat enough even though I was always the smallest person in the pre-op classes. If you're overweight and uncomfortable and unhealthy, I personally think you're fat enough. no, I'm not calling you fat, I'm just a supporter of people who aren't MAJORLY overweight (but on the way there) of getting the surgery. It's been a great thing for me. As far as losing hair and sagging skin not being worth it, I disagree. I lost hair starting at about month 3 and it went to about month 5. I'm not bald. I guarantee no one but me knew I was losing a lot of hair in the shower. it wasn't noticeable enough for anyone else to realize it. And hair grows back!! Saggy skin is an individual thing. Personally, I don't really have any. I can't give you a reason why, that's just how the cards were dealt to me. I would bet you would feel better with saggy skinny versus being overweight though. there is always the option for a little nip and tuck, if you want it and do have saggy skin. I don't look like I have had weight loss surgery, at least that's what I'm told every single time I tell someone, and I also think it's true. I look like a naturally petite person, not like I was ever overweight. Good luck with your decision, and feel free to ask any questions if I can be of some help.

[Teachamy 1,042]

I have been on WW many times over the years. A good friend of mine is even a WW leader! When I was in my 20's, I lost 25lbs' on WW, and thought I could do it again. But as the years went on, my eating became more compulsive, I became obese (although only a 35 BMI, it was bad enough.) Many co-morbidities reared their ugly heads. I watched friends eat and exercise worse than me and lose, while I stayed the same weight. I spent many weigh in's near tears. I had this surgery to get healthy. Now my blood sugar is under control, and soon I expect to see my sleep apnea and high cholesterol disappear.

You may have thinning hair for a bit, your stretched-out skin may sag, but you will be PROTECTING your health. If your BMI says you are clinically obese, you need to consider seriously what staying obese means to your health. Try to think beyond appearances only. Only you can decide if this option is right for you. Personally, I would NEVER go back!

[SlowlybutSurely 73]

I personally feel that if you're not 100% committed, then you should wait simply because this is a LIFETIME LIFESTYLE change (LLC) and it's not easy but definitely doable. If you're ever 100%, then you're 100% committed to the LLC! No one can predict what life AFTER surgery will be like.....loose skin, complications, hair loss, killer cravings for a Five-Guys Burger....so you have to be willing to deal with those things IF you decide to have the surgery and they arise. That's why I say being 100% committed is VERY important before the surgery!

Edited January 19, 2014 by BamaBoo64

[CherylMomO4 4]

TJL, Jenny12 & TeachAmy- Thank you so much for your replies. I feel very welcome here. It's wonderful to know I am not alone!

BamaBoo64- Thank you. I so agree! I would never have the surgery unless I was 110% sure this is the way I want to live the rest of my life! That is why I doing all this questioning and soul searching.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

A lot of us on here are short shorties, and 100 pounds makes us almost as big around as we are tall. If you need to lose "only" 100 pounds, that is still like walking around with a pony for a belt!

I have quit fretting about the hair loss that is coming. If it gets too bad, I will just get a wig to wear when I go out and about. I decided to get it cut pretty short, and then embrace the gray when it grows back in.

As for food issues, I am getting over it. I just had to quit watching the food Network.

Many people dread the Psych appointments, but they serve their purpose in exposing the issues that fuel our eating habits. You deserve to be healthy and happy.

I am not the only one here who has lost 25-50 pounds several times. We just can't keep it off. There is no disgrace in asking for help.

[shamps4all 28]

I am not the only one here who has lost 25-50 pounds several times. We just can't keep it off. There is no disgrace in asking for help.

Lots of good advice here...but I wanted to chime in on the aspect of telling co-workers and/or others. I chose to refrain from telling everyone in my life about my WLS, not because I am 'ashamed' that I got this bad and decided I didn't have any other choice...but simply because I feel that its a personal choice that is really nobody else's business but my own and to a smaller extent, my husband's because I needed to be able to count on his support before, during and after my surgery.

A few years ago I lost 76lbs at a weight loss clinic. Everyone who knew me knew that I was attending this clinic and everyone was so supportive - almost too much. Suddenly all discussions and friendly visits became focused on the topic of dieting/eating/exercising etc. Now one would think that all of that positive reinforcement would be enough to force me to never go back to being overweight but it wasn't and what I found was that I felt even greater shame, humiliation and disappointment when I started putting the weight back on. Gaining weight isn't like other health issues...its a very "visible" problem.

Before my surgery I read some of the threads on this forum that dealt with the nasty comments that members had received from co-workers, friends, relatives and in some cases even strangers. Having dealt with some of that with my past weight loss I decided this time around that it really isn't anyone else's business and that I will be much more selective about who I confide in this time.

When I lost the 76lbs I did not have any loose skin and I'm not expecting to this time either but if it turns out that I do, I'll deal with it when it happens. Right now I'm more focused on following doctors orders and getting the weight off for my health. As for the hair loss, I've not experienced that at all but it may be because I was only sleeved last week.

Only you can ultimately make this decision and I wish you the very best whatever decision you settle on.