Teachamy

I wondered about this, but I see the results of going back to basics. Getting rid of breads and crackers and popcorn completely, and some restriction is back. Getting rid of seltzer has helped too. It's not perfect, but once I cut it out cold turkey, I craved carbs less with every passing day. If I drink enough, 2 oz. of chicken and a cup of broccoli is enough for lunch. Some days, it's just cottage cheese. Maybe you could visit your bariatric center and get some dietician support and see if it helps. Seeing some positive results and having someone to talk to may be enough. If not, s/he could support you through revision. Good luck!

I try to remember that starches are the enemy. The more starches I eat, the more I want to eat, and the less room I have for foods that are actually nutritious! I have been eating healthy, complex carbs like fruit, but nothing refined. I never ate much fruit immediately after surgery, but I keep count of the calories, and It helps. Bananas, smoothies, even a lo-carb tomato soup might be helpful. But remember the protein and try to track. You got this!

I try to remember that starches are the enemy. The more starches I eat, the more I want to eat, and the less room I have for foods that are actually nutritious! I have been eating healthy, complex carbs like fruit, but nothing refined. I never ate much fruit immediately after surgery, but I keep count of the calories, and It helps. Bananas, smoothies, even a lo-carb tomato soup might be helpful. But remember the protein and try to track. You got this!

I try to remember that starches are the enemy. The more starches I eat, the more I want to eat, and the less room I have for foods that are actually nutritious! I have been eating healthy, complex carbs like fruit, but nothing refined. I never ate much fruit immediately after surgery, but I keep count of the calories, and It helps. Bananas, smoothies, even a lo-carb tomato soup might be helpful. But remember the protein and try to track. You got this!

What is a mini gastric bypass? The name alone is problematic for me.

I had a hysterectomy (uterus only) one year ago. Although I still have my ovaries, I think menopause has finally set in. Hot flashes every evening and at night. (Anyone else have a partner who is overly amorous when s/he wakes up and finds you nude and panting in bed? I don't have the heart to tell my husband he's not a rock star.) I am suddenly far less interested in that arena of late too.
I am only 42, so I am hoping for a few more years before my hormones go completely out of whack, because I have heard that menopause does cause weight gain.
Good luck!

I had a hysterectomy (uterus only) one year ago. Although I still have my ovaries, I think menopause has finally set in. Hot flashes every evening and at night. (Anyone else have a partner who is overly amorous when s/he wakes up and finds you nude and panting in bed? I don't have the heart to tell my husband he's not a rock star.) I am suddenly far less interested in that arena of late too.
I am only 42, so I am hoping for a few more years before my hormones go completely out of whack, because I have heard that menopause does cause weight gain.
Good luck!

Have you gotten off track and lost your "Bariatric Brain"? Maybe it's time to start thinking like a bariatric patient again!


Let’s face it - after bariatric surgery, life is not the same. Your diet will change, your body will change, and in many cases, your attitude will change. For many of us, however, a point in time comes when we find ourselves in a different state. In some respect, we almost forget that we’ve had bariatric surgery.
After our initial phases of being on liquids, soft and chopped foods, and transitioning into full solids, we spend some time reveling in our ability to eat a ton less and to be able to only eat certain foods. For the first 6-12 months, we are in a “honeymoon phase” of sorts - we’re losing weight easily, we have the assurance that we just CAN’T eat certain things such as rice, bread, pasta, etc., and we’re in a certain mindset that I’ve dubbed the “Bariatric Brain”. For some of us, that mindset remains because we are never able to eat certain things without them getting stuck or without experiencing dumping syndrome. For others, that mindset all but disappears when we discover that we can eat certain foods without sliming or them getting stuck, or that other foods no longer send us to the bathroom for an hour.
From my own experience, the downfall out of the “Bariatric Brain” began 6 months after my surgery. I was told my my nutritionist that I was allowed to have carbonation from that point on. I was a little confused, as all of the other people I knew with the sleeve had been told they could never have it again, but my addiction to diet soda was stronger than my common sense. From that point on, I learned I could also eat bread (8 months), pasta (10 months) and rice (14 months). From there, it was no-holds barred.
Something else that happens with the sleeve that they don’t tell you is that at a certain point - your stomach capacity will increase after a time. This is because for a few months, it’s swollen to a point that you can only hold about ½ a cup of food at one time. After the first year, and it is completely healed, that capacity increases to about a cup. For someone that’s not expecting that, it can be a little confusing. For a food addict, it can be exciting and tempting. At that point, you are no longer bound by restrictions.
When this happens, some people begin to forget about their surgery. They begin to get back into a different mindset. One of “oh, I can eat this!” instead of, “Nope - gotta leave that off”. When this happens, the diet shifts to one of fast food, sugar, carbs, soft drinks, and alcohol (not every food in every case, mind you). It is that moment when the tool that we so greatly loved and admired begins to fail us. Or, rather, WE begin to fail our TOOL.
When this happens, it’s time to return to the mindset we were in during the first year. It’s time to think like a bariatric patient again.
This is no easy feat, after all, we’ve returned to our addiction - FOOD.
But at the same time, in the case of most other addictions - drugs, alcohol, nicotine, etc. - there is almost always a backslide. A heroine addict may sneak out of rehab for that one more fix, an AA leader might get depressed one night and get insanely drunk, someone trying to quit smoking might sneak a puff or two at a rock concert. These instances are normal and, some believe, even a healthy part of the healing from addiction. If this is acceptable in these cases, why is it not acceptable in the weight loss world?
When this happens, take a step back. Look at yourself from the outside in. It’s important here to remind yourself that getting off track is NORMAL and OK. Although not everyone has done it, many MANY people have - and some of those people have the most successful weight loss stories on the Bariatric Pal forum.
With that in mind, how does one go back to the “Bariatric Brain”?
Go Back To Basics
Remember what started the weight loss to begin with? Protein, water, walking? Get back to it! Make sure you’re getting AT LEAST 60g of protein a day (even better is 80-90g!). Make sure you’re getting AT LEAST 64oz of water a day, and make sure you’re getting some kind of activity for AT LEAST 15 minutes a day (30-45 minutes is better).
Return To Liquids?
Some people return to a liquid diet for a few days (no more than 3). They feel that this helps “reset” their system and returns their mindset back to where it should be. One way of doing this is through the “5-Day Pouch Test” (designed for RnY or Gastric Band patients) in which you return to liquids for a few days then gradually return to solid foods.
For those that have the sleeve or the duodenal switch, the pouch test might not work for you as it’s not designed for that kind of surgery. That being said, if you feel the need, you can also return to liquids for a few days.
Return To Support Groups
Support groups are the #1 key to a successful weight loss surgery, regardless of your surgery or your stage. If you are a year or more out, consider returning to a support group. Hearing what the people in the early stages are having issues with, and helping them work through those issues can, in fact, help you work through yours.
Read, and Educate Yourself
Consider finding books, articles, cookbooks, and magazines on bariatric surgery. Do research on one aspect that really interests you. Immerse yourself in it again like you did in the beginning!
Remember Your Motivation
What was your reason for having Bariatric Surgery to begin with? Your health? Your family? Your looks? Looking at what you wanted from your surgery and where you are now might help you to refocus.
In The End Remember …
What you are going through right now is okay, and completely normal. Thousands of people are going through exactly the same thing you are. You are not alone!
Remember that if you’re REALLY struggling, you can always find help. Talk you your nutritionist or dietician, seek mentorship in a support group, or find a good counselor that has experience with food addiction and bariatric patients. And ALWAYS remember - YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

I like "FOCUS". Thank you, Alex!

What is a mini gastric bypass? The name alone is problematic for me.

What is a mini gastric bypass? The name alone is problematic for me.

What is a mini gastric bypass? The name alone is problematic for me.

Couldn't have said it better myself! Our perspective is a lot alike!

Couldn't have said it better myself! Our perspective is a lot alike!

Couldn't have said it better myself! Our perspective is a lot alike!

Couldn't have said it better myself! Our perspective is a lot alike!

Couldn't have said it better myself! Our perspective is a lot alike!

Alex, I have always had an ALL-OR-NOTHING mentality throughout my life..... only where weight loss, dieting, and exercise was concerned. Thus, I had never been able to MAINTAIN a weight loss. As soon as I would lose, and hit my first plateau, I would start to gain. But, my decision to give up daily and weekly weigh-ins has changed me. I don't see the stalls or plateaus as much, so I don't throw in the towel, so to speak. It was very liberating for ME. Plateaus in the past, would put me over the edge, and in the end, always resulted in weight GAIN, because I couldn't handle them. Enjoyed your article. It made me realize again that the road to weight loss and getting fit is NOT a straight path, but a road with twists, turns, and even plateaus along the way!

If you are anything like me, discipline or strong willpower is not something that comes natural. I have been developing mental toughness throughout the years when it comes to maintaining a healthy weight. Does your mind race with thoughts of eating a smorgasbord of different foods? Is every food going through your mind a carbohydrate loaded with sugar or salt? Do you think, “Let me just eat or drink what I want today, and I will get back on track tomorrow?” Do you go through a plethora of different feelings? You may not even know what you are feeling. All you know is that you are consumed with this urge to eat or drink, many times when you are not physically hungry.


Man, did I feel like that today. I just wanted to check out and lose myself in literally stuffing my face with junk food. I was consumed with thoughts of pizza, nachos and cheese, gummy bears and Ben & Jerry’s New York City super chunk ice cream. Oh, and let’s not forget the peanut butter cup candy. Maybe your favorite question is, “Wine, anyone?” Maybe your choice of food to emotionally zone out is different, but is any of this resonating with you?
So what do I do when this pattern pops up in me? This is where developing mental toughness will get you the desired results you deserve. Below, I am going to walk you through four quick steps that have worked wonders for me in developing mental toughness, and I know they can work wonders for you!
4 quick steps to developing mental toughness:
1. First, realize your pattern of internal dialogue and foods when you are getting ready to emotionally eat or start binge eating. Once you begin to pay attention, you will notice that you crave the same foods every time and that there is an impulse or urge to eat right away. You will have the same automatic dialogue of eating and watching TV or telling yourself you’ll just eat this one time and start fresh tomorrow, etc.
2. Stop and realize you are trying to avoid or escape a bad feeling. We automatically want to feel good. Tell yourself that having a bad feeling is not the end of the world; you are not dying. Take a moment to identify the feeling, where it is in your body and what is it trying to tell you. If you cannot find it, that is okay. Just continue to tell yourself that it is okay to feel bad. Allow yourself to just sit with it.
3. Remember to breathe. Through this time, take deep breathes, letting go with every exhale.
4. Have the mantra: “There is no tomorrow. I only have this moment. What I do right now is the only thing that matters. What I do right now is creating my future.” Repeat this over and over again as you breathe.
You will notice that as you go through this process, the feelings that were leading the desire to eat will lesson; as they lesson, your desire to eat will lesson.
The key to developing mental toughness is to become aware of your automatic behaviors to escape bad feelings. If you follow these four steps every time you have an impulse to emotionally eat, you will create a new pattern of reacting to your feelings. When you have a plan to decrease the number of times you emotionally eat, you will be amazed at how quickly you begin to see results in weight loss!

A couple of weeks ago I was driving to an appointment and I saw a really large man walking down the street. Because of his size and the near 100 degree temperature, I knew he had to be extremely uncomfortable. As I pulled into my parking place I glanced in my rear view mirror and watched this man trip with a force that propelled him like a rocket to the concrete. I bolted from my car and ran to him...his arm was already bloody.


"Let me help you up". He had salt and pepper hair and perhaps the kindest sky blue eyes I have ever seen.
With a perfect Texas drawl he said "Little lady you're gonna have to pack a little more lead in the rear to help me up!" My heart was breaking for him. I grabbed him by his good arm and we rocked....1, 2, 3, and I pulled with everything I had. No matter how much I wanted to help this man, I couldn't get him off the ground. He explained he was walking to work and I at first got the impression he was trying to get some exercise. I asked him to stay put and I'd get some help and as I ran into the building, there were just a few tiny women and elderly people that could be of no help. By the time I got back out, a man had stopped to help him up. He was hurt....I told him there was a doctor inside, would he please come in? I know he was both surprised and ashamed that I would help him. He chuckled and said he was alright (he wasn't). As he walked out of my sight he said "It's time to go on that diet".
Of course I knew he'd been on hundreds of diets, just like I had. It was the perfect time to have shared my story but yet it wasn't. I wish I had at least gotten his contact information so that maybe my signature on my email would perhaps spark a conversation.
Maybe he didn't have a car and had to go into work anyway for fear of losing his job because of his size. Maybe he couldn't afford to call for an ambulance. So many "maybes". Every day since then I have considered waiting at that parking space to see if I could locate him again. He felt so much embarrassment and I wanted to tell him that I knew there was a perfectly loving man inside trying to get out. I wanted to tell him so many things but most of all that I didn't see him as just a morbidly obese man....that he was just as valid and worthy as anybody and the shell he lived in did not make him "less than".
I fell a few weeks before that and was in extreme pain so I could only imagine what he was dealing with. Tears ran down my face for the rest of the day. Call me silly for wanting to do this but I'm going back to try to find him. I want him to know why I didn't judge him that day.
And why I cried.
p.s. I just added this because I do want everyone to know that I would NEVER give anyone unsolicited advice because I have seen it happen and someone got the response "I've already had WLS". Much like asking a woman if she's pregnant....not until I see the crowning of the baby's head would I ever ask when someone's baby is due. I just wanted to make sure everyone understood that.
*Note- I wrote this in 2011 and reread it the other day. I decided to share it here because the comments left on this blog post were so memorable and heartfelt. If you'd like to read them you can see them here.
I've been back to that same parking spot every month basically at the same time of the day ever since that day. I have unfortunately never found him again. If I ever do, I hope he'll let me take a picture with him so you can see his beautiful blue eyes and the kindest face you could ever imagine.

I think getting on a scale everyday during the weigh loss stage can leave many of us saddened and obsessive if we don't see a loss. Once we are at the stage where we are maintaining normal weight--I can understand the benefit.

I think getting on a scale everyday during the weigh loss stage can leave many of us saddened and obsessive if we don't see a loss. Once we are at the stage where we are maintaining normal weight--I can understand the benefit.

While most of us knew all about the physical side of Weight Loss Surgery, many people have no idea about the emotional ride they're about to face. This article discusses all aspects of the "emotional roller coaster" from the moment you first decide on having bariatric surgery all the way up to the maintenance phase of your weight loss. It's a wild ride baby!


When was the last time you were on a roller coaster? If you’re like me, it’s been a while. In fact, the last time I was on a roller coaster I was 310 lbs and could barely fit into the seat. The restraint almost didn't go around my tummy. I was squeezed in like Cinderella’s step-sister’s foot must have tried to squeeze into that tiny shoe. Yep. I was Drizella’s foot and the coaster seat was the glass slipper. I’m sure it was a comical, if not sad and pathetic site, for those around me. It was embarrassing to me, to say the very least. But I laughed it off and went on, as I tended to do.
That roller coaster was a wild ride. It had huge climbs, steep drops, loop-de-loops, sharp turns, and at one point it feels like you’re lying on your side. Honestly, it’s a wonder I stayed in the coaster even with the restraint!! The end of the ride was abrupt - it felt like my insides were coming out of my mouth when it stopped short back at the beginning of the track. When it was over, I felt accomplished, in a way. I’d survived that coaster ride, wild and uncomfortable as it was.
Many people don’t realize that life before, during, and after weight loss surgery becomes a roller-coaster ride of it’s own. It has the huge climbs of elation and joy and excitement, the steep drops into anxiety and depression, and the loop-de-loops, sharp turns, and lying on your side moments of uncertainty, worry, and fear. Here are some of the emotional dealings that will occur before, during, and after surgery that you might not know.
1. Pre-Surgery Elation. This happens when you are finally approved for surgery. It’s going to be a reality! You are going to get a brand new lease on life! The period of life where you are having to go through diet after diet is finally coming to an end! You might tell everyone you know or you might decide to keep your secret to yourself. Regardless, you are excited and ready to go!
2. Pre-Surgery Blues. This is when you realize that you are going to have to say good-bye to one of your best friends ... Food. You come to the realization that there are some favorites that you are just not going to be able to eat anymore. Depression sets in slightly, and you might even go on a food bender - similar to what an addict might do. At this point you might even question your decision to go through surgery.
3. Day of Surgery. You’re going to be going through a myriad of emotions during this time. You’ll feel excitement, anxiety, apprehension, and impatience all at the same time. You’ll be worried because, after all, it is a major surgery you’re about to go through. But at the same time, you’ll be excited at what’s about to happen. When you wake up from anesthesia, you might be scared, especially if you’re having a rough transition out of anesthesia. You might be a little confused, wondering where you are. When your body settles down a bit and you remember where you are and what just happened, you might feel a little concerned. "Did everything go okay?" "Is this going to work?" "Did I just make the biggest mistake in my life?" On the other hand, you might wake up beautifully, singing the praises of your surgeon and his/her team, excited to begin your new life. These feelings and emotions will likely cycle throughout the day as you’re getting used to the idea of what just happened and your body relaxes and comes out of shock from surgery.
4. Going Home. When you’re finally released to go home, you’ll either be excited or scared. Thoughts might rush your brain like “will I be able to do this on my own?” and anxiety might set in again. You might, again, question your decision to undergo surgery, especially once the monotony of the liquid diet phases set in. The first few days might be easy, and the next might be excruciating. You’ll be in some discomfort because of incisions and if the surgeon inflated your abdomen with gas prior to surgery (commonly done in laparoscopic surgeries), and this might heighten your doubts and anxieties. You might begin to worry about issues such as leaks, slippage, or staples coming loose.
5.The first few months. You will be going through a mourning period at some point, and for some that occurs during the first few months after surgery. You no longer are able to lean on food for emotional support, so you might feel sad. You might even go through a type of “withdraw” from food, similar to what an addict might be going through their first few days in rehab. You’ll be able to eat more some days than others, and that will lead you to worry if your surgery is working or if there’s something wrong. Some days you’ll be jealous of watching everyone around you eat foods that you once loved. Others, you’ll be glad you can’t/don’t eat those things anymore. By the time you've finished all of your phases and are on to real food, you’ll be relieved and excited, and likely worried and anxious as well. Whereas before, you were relying on liquids for sustenance, now you’re on your own and have to rely on figuring your food choices out for yourself.
6. The losing phase. From the moment you leave the hospital until you reach your goal you are considered to be in the losing phase of surgery. For the purposes of this article, we’re going to call the losing phase the time period from month 3 (about the time you transition into full solids) to the point where you reach your goal. There will be many frustrations, joys, and concerns in the months ahead. Some days you’ll forget everything you were taught about nutrition and make yourself sick on something you shouldn't have eaten. Other days you’ll be 100% on track. You’ll have moments of pride and joy, and moments of shame and weakness. You’ll revel in finding out you can eat something as simple as asparagus and despair over not being able to eat rice pilaf. You’ll finally reach your “groove” point sometime during month four or five, and things begin to go well. You’ll reach a stall or two (or five ...) and wonder if you’re doing something wrong or if you've messed up your new tummy. You’ll marvel over losing 10 lbs in one week. You’ll wonder why you only lost 2 lbs the next week. When your loss starts to slow down, you’ll worry that you’re not exercising enough, that you’re eating too much or too little, or worry that your surgery is beginning to fail. You’ll relax more when you are consistently losing, even if it has gone down to 1-2 lbs a week.
7. The maintenance phase. When you reach your goal weight, you will have reached what is called “maintenance”. This is the final stage that you will likely be in for the rest of your life. Here, you will change your diet slightly in order to not lose or gain any more weight. You will get frustrated a time or two - especially the first time you gain a few pounds. You will marvel at what you've lost, but are concerned with the way your body looks now. You will have loose skin, which may cause body image issues. If you’re single, you might notice more possible suitors paying more attention to you. You might fall from one addiction (food) into another (sex). You might also be tempted into other addictive substances or habits such as alcohol, cigarettes, shopping, or pornography. Alternatively, you may look back at your loss, as meaningful and inspirational. You might revel in the way your life has changed and be happier than you have ever been and be ready to branch out and help others succeed in their bariatric surgery journeys.
Tips on Riding the Roller Coaster
Knowing that these emotions are possible doesn't mean they will happen for everyone, and doesn't mean you can’t get through them. The following tips will help you stay on the road to success and prevent you from falling off the wagon and into an abyss of self-doubt and depression:
1. Support. This is the number one most important thing for WLS patients. Even more important than food is support. Support can be found at home, through friends and family, in a hospital or surgery center support group, or even online forums such as Bariatric Pal.
2. Stick to the plan. As tempting as it might be to veer off and eat something you’re not supposed to, stick with your doctor or nutritionist’s eating plan as closely as possible. This will ensure that you continue to lose steadily, decrease the length and amount of stalls you’ll experience, and will speed up the healing process.
3. Vitamins. It sounds very cliche, but remember to take your vitamins! Focus on Iron and B Complex vitamins especially.A vitamin deficiency can result in depression, physical weakness, and poor sleep habits.
4. Speaking of sleep ... Make sure you’re getting plenty of it! At least 8 hours a day for an adult! Lack of sleep can lead to fatigue, weight gain, and (you guessed it!) depression!
5. Remember that “this too shall pass” ... These stages of emotional turmoil certainly won’t last forever. You’ll get over them as quickly as they overcame you. And keep in mind that each stage after surgery only lasts a short time in the grand scheme of things. Most eating phases last, at most, a month. After which you’re on to the next phase.
6. Keep a plan handy. Know that you will likely feel some unpleasant emotions or feelings and plan for them. Know what you’re going to do when you get upset, depressed, feel head hunger, or even feel physical pain from surgery. Have a list of friends to call at the drop of a hat, have a bottle of water ready to sip on at all times, or have your doctor’s phone number on speed dial. Know that these feelings will likely happen at some point in time, and be ready to deal with them when they do.
7. Remember that everything you’re going through is completely normal and OKAY. It’s important and helpful to know that everyone goes through a stall at some point. Everyone has pain during the first couple of weeks after surgery. Everyone eats something they shouldn't at some point. Whatever it is you’re going through - someone else has likely gone through it!
8. Finally, DON’T GIVE UP! Remember that this is a journey. As the old saying goes, “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” There will be ups and downs on this wild roller-coaster ride. There will be twists and turns and loop-de-loops and there will be many moments when you feel like you’re laying over on your side. But, in the end, it will all be worth it. Your health, your life, and YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

Of my clients who struggle with compulsive eating those who have a strong desire to live a joyful, healthy, peaceful life are the most successful in moving from living in the insanity of food obsession to the serenity of a healthy relationship with food and weight. This is because a highly respected and well-nourished body is the foundation upon which such a life must be built. When a person who is overweight and/or a compulsive eater desires to feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually her motivation to make peace with her body and food is multidimensional; it is not simply wanting to see a particular number when she steps on the scale. It ‘carries with it more weight’ (pun intended!). However many people do not understand that what they eat directly affects their every experience. Do You? Take some time to think about how your weight and relationship with food affect the following areas of your life:



Soulful Living



Food Addiction Part 1



​(Part 1 of this article originally appeared in the WLS Lifestyles Magazine in my Soulful Living Column)



Louisa Latela, LCSW, LCADC


Of my clients who struggle with compulsive eating those who have a strong desire to live a joyful, healthy, peaceful life are the most successful in moving from living in the insanity of food obsession to the serenity of a healthy relationship with food and weight. This is because a highly respected and well-nourished body is the foundation upon which such a life must be built. When a person who is overweight and/or a compulsive eater desires to feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually her motivation to make peace with her body and food is multidimensional; it is not simply wanting to see a particular number when she steps on the scale. It ‘carries with it more weight’ (pun intended!). However many people do not understand that what they eat directly affects their every experience. Do You? Take some time to think about how your weight and relationship with food affect the following areas of your life:
Physical Health: Are you overweight? Do you have heart disease, diabetes, shortness of breath, sleep apnea, decreased energy, or chronic joint pain? Are there other ways that your weight and food consumption affect you physically?
Emotional Health: Do you harshly judge yourself; feel shame, guilt, anger or self-hatred in relation to your weight or what you eat? Do you experience periods of depression because of your inability to control your eating behavior? Do you ever feel anxious if you do not have certain foods available to you?
Finances: How much money do you spend on food that you use for bingeing, overeating, or avoiding uncomfortable feelings? How much money have you spent on diet books, diet supplements, diet foods, consultations with weight loss professionals, and seldom used exercise equipment and gym memberships? Do you miss time at work because of health problems related to how you eat? Do you believe your weight prevents you from getting a promotion or new job? Are there times that you are not as productive at your job because of how you feel (emotionally or physically) in relation to what you did or did not eat?
Relationships: Do you use your weight as an excuse to avoid relationships? Or, conversely, have you ever stayed in an unhealthy relationship because you believed no one else would want someone your size? Are people in your life inconvenienced by your food related emotional or physical problems? When you eat foods that zap your energy or make you feel ill, are you sometimes nasty, short, or cranky with family, friends, or co-workers?
Sexual Experiences: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from having a satisfying sex life?
Mental Clarity: Do you ever feel a bit dull or foggy in the brain because of the quantity or quality of food you eat?
Activities: Does your weight physically or emotionally prevent you from engaging in healthy, fun activities like hiking, bike riding, swimming, dancing, or playing with your children? Are simple activities of daily living like putting on your socks and shoes becoming increasingly difficult? Do you avoid certain social situations because you don’t want to be seen at your current weight or because you are afraid you will overeat?
Time: How much time do you spend thinking about food or weight issues? How old were you when you first thought you had a problem with food or weight? How many years have you been dealing with this? How many precious moments of your life have you lost to your preoccupation with food and weight?
The purpose of answering the preceding questions is to not elicit feelings of self-blame or harsh self-judgment but rather to increase your awareness of how your current weight and eating behaviors may be preventing you from living a normal, productive life. Understanding that what you eat affects your every physical, emotional, and mental experience can serve to increase your motivation to cultivate a healthy relationship with food.
If you are still riding the yo-yo dieting roller coaster you may have an addictive relationship with food.
Addiction, as defined by Merriam-Webster’s Medical Dictionary, is “the persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be physically, psychologically, or socially harmful”. Sound familiar? Studies have shown that compulsive overeating and drug addiction share many of the same biological characteristics. For instance, when people eat large quantities of sugar and fat they develop a tolerance for these substances and need more sugar and fat to satisfy them, much like alcoholics and drug addicts who, over time, require increased amounts of alcohol and drugs to get high. Other research has revealed that many obese people and drug addicts have a lower number of dopamine receptors (the feel good receptors) in their brains which make them more likely to crave things that boost dopamine like sugar, alcohol, cocaine or heroin. Also when some people are suddenly cut off from sugar and certain carbohydrates they experience withdrawal symptoms like anxiety, depression, irritability and strong cravings for the substance from which they are cut off, just like alcoholics and drug addicts do when they are detoxifying from alcohol or drugs.
However; neither acknowledging the depth to which your relationship with food is negatively affecting your life nor understanding the biology of addiction will in and of itself cure your obsession or right your relationship with food.
You may be thinking “Well I know how to eat well and what I need to do to lose weight.” Do you really? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. How many times have you gone on a diet proclaiming “This is it! I will never again be overweight! My eating behaviors have forever changed!!” only to find yourself starting a new diet the following Monday morning? Three, four, five or more times? Sounds like insanity to me! You may know how to diet and temporarily lose weight, but you have not made the internal psychological and emotional shifts necessary to sustain a healthy relationship with food and permanent weight loss. Moving from the insanity of a food and weight obsessed life to the serenity that a loving and respectful relationship with food affords you requires the willingness to consider a new way of thinking and being in the world.
For many it requires learning to live a spiritual life.
Cultivating a relationship with your Authentic Self, looking at yourself through kind and compassionate eyes, being willing to listen to and act on the guidance you receive from your Inner Knowing, and understanding that your true essence is pure love are all part of nurturing your spiritual self. As you mature spiritually, behaviors that no longer serve you will fall by the way side.
On page 15 of “A Course in Weight Loss” Marianne Williamson writes:
“Spiritual growth is a fascinating process if you allow it to be. It is an inner journey from one insight to another, in which helpful realizations fall into place as you are ready to receive them. Twisted thoughts become untwisted once you see them for what they are. Your journey from blindness to spiritual vision precedes your journey from dysfunctional eating to a healthy and wholesome relationship to food; in fact it is a necessary prerequisite for it. As you understand more deeply the roots of your weakness you lay the foundation for the cultivation of new strengths.”
To be continued.....