Supportive friends a blessing and a curse?

[Francess 38]

I have a lot of supportive friends and family and I am truly blessed to have them, but...

sometimes their questions about how I am doing make me feel like I will never progress fast enough for them. Getting lots of questions about how much have I lost, am I ready to buy a whole new wardrobe, what am I eating...etc. Sometimes I just want to get back to my routine and not have the focus on me.

I really think some of them expected me to be thin right after the surgery....it’s been 3 weeks! My Dr. Office and husband assure me I’m doing great, but when you start off at almost 400 pounds, 50 pounds down (since beginning journey) just doesn’t make a dent. I’ve got a long way to go.

Anyone else feeling this way?

Also, do you weigh yourself everyday? I haven’t been because I’m afraid to get hyper focused on progress or lack of progress.

[Apple203 1,314]

Oh hell yes! As if my own impatience isn't enough, I have to deal with theirs!! Hang in there, don't overspend on clothes for their behalf, because you are going to go through many sizes. :-)

[Orchids&Dragons 9,046]

Definitely! And then they compare your results to other people they've known, too. I know they're trying to be supportive, but it gets old. My surgery was 5 weeks ago and I haven't lost 50 pounds yet?

Just hang in there, in a year, you'll be the benchmark they compare others to!

[Teachamy 1,042]

I weighed in about once every 3 weeks when I was losing. Otherwise I agree, hyper focus on the scale is counter productive. Focus on how you feel, how your clothes fit, as you go down sizes, etc. The scale is just one measurement tool, and it often fluctuates during the day and from day to day. 3 weeks was good for me because I inevitably saw a loss of more than a pound.

[Jrob66 10]

I am still pre op, but I have set ground rules for my loved ones. I told them not to ask how much I lost, If I want to tell them I will. I asked them to be patient with me on this journey and know it is an 18 month process and what I learn during those months will prepare me for going forward with my behaviors and how my journey continues.

If that fails... ask them how much they weigh and what they ate today.

[TakingABreak 2,733]

3 hours ago, Francess said:

sometimes their questions about how I am doing make me feel like I will never progress fast enough for them. Getting lots of questions about how much have I lost, am I ready to buy a whole new wardrobe, what am I eating...etc. Sometimes I just want to get back to my routine and not have the focus on me.

I feel the exact same way about my friends and families questions. I have a mother who is always asking me "my number". And sometimes, like the one week that I have my lady friend... the number doesn't change much. Its frustrating and feels discouraging. On the other hand, I like that I have people who feel interested in my journey. It feels good to know that people care about what's going on.

3 hours ago, Francess said:

I really think some of them expected me to be thin right after the surgery....it’s been 3 weeks! My Dr. Office and husband assure me I’m doing great, but when you start off at almost 400 pounds, 50 pounds down (since beginning journey) just doesn’t make a dent. I’ve got a long way to go.

I can relate to you 100% . I'm almost 75lbs down and I haven't gotten many big reactions. I don't know if it's just a topic that most people don't bridge or if it's because, like you, I started off on the high end of the BMI scale. I feel like I look different, but I'm not getting any validation. I choose not to tell anyone at work about my surgery. They know I've been eating right and exercising for the past 6 months, and I'm 2 1/2 months post op now. But no one at work says anything at all.

3 hours ago, Francess said:

Also, do you weigh yourself everyday? I haven’t been because I’m afraid to get hyper focused on progress or lack of progress.

I weigh myself every time I go to the gym, which is 5 days a week. There are draw backs because I get in my head about my weight when I am on my period and am not loosing. I've even seen the scale go up during that pesky week. But I find that weighing myself, nearly daily, keeps me accountable. If you were only weighing once a week, then you are throwing away a WHOLE WEEK. That's how I feel about it.

[Apple203 1,314]

3 hours ago, Jrob66 said:

If that fails... ask them how much they weigh and what they ate today.

Ha! I'm doing this to my mom if she asks!! :-)