Family and friends don't get it..

[ElliottWasHere 41]

When I told some close family and friends about my decision to get sleeved. I don't think they took me seriously or rather, they thought I wouldn't get approved. Now that i'm approved and my surgery is 3 weeks away. I see the tension in them. My mother is scared because it's surgery, my sister doesn't think I should do it and my best friend thinks I should try working out and dieting again. despite their opinions, they don't come down hard on me and they try to respect my decision but at the same time, they aren't being very supportive. I know it sounds like a contradiction but they don't attack my decision, they just don't want to hear about or talk about it. When I talk about it, I can see how uncomfortable they are and it makes feel bad. either way i'm getting sleeved. they're going to have to deal with it lol

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

When it is crunch time..They will deal. Fear is a scary thing..They are just worried for you.. But they seem to respect your decision...Once all is done and you are on your way, they will be there no matter what..that is how family is and a true friend is...

All the best, soon you will be a loser like all of us on here!!!!lol

[Comfy_Blue 285]

I'm so sorry your family has not been supportive. I completely understand what you mean about needing to talk about it because just like it's new/different/scary for them, it's even newer/different/scarier for you because you're the one that has to go through it.

I don't know if they would be interested, but maybe you could offer to bring them to an information session or one of your appointments? When I decided to do this journey, my husband was skeptical and kind of like your family. Not against it, but not 100% supportive.

So I brought him with me to an information session held by the surgeons at the hospital where i'm having the procedure. We learned a lot, asked questions, talked with other people, etc. He also attended my first meeting with the nutritionist and got to ask a lot of questions. Now he's my biggest cheerleader and I don't feel alone anymore.

With my parents, I wrote up about 3 or 4 pages and we sat around their kitchen table and I talked about why I wanted to have this procedure(lower my blood pressure, reverse the knee pain I'm starting to have, increase my life span, break my dependence on food, decrease my risk of diabetes, increase my chances of having a healthy pregnancy, etc). I also talked about the pros and cons of having the procedure, the insurance approval process, etc.

When my parents saw that I was confident and had a good understanding of what I was getting into (plus answered their questions) they got on board. I think if I had just come to them and said, "This is what I'm doing" they wouldn't have been so supportive.

If those suggestions aren't helpful, then I would try to find a support group. Maybe your hospital has one (mine does). I've also been considering Overeaters Annoymous. Plus, you have our community here. I know it's not the same, but all of us know what you're going through and can provide e-Support.

I'm hardly an expert in any of this, but if you want to reach out to me, you're welcome to private message me anytime.

Edited December 22, 2013 by Comfy_Blue

[Nurse_B 270]

I had a very similar experience with a friend. When I first told her, she made me feel very bad about myself and actually told me I had not tried hard enough to lose weight on my own. Even now after surgery, she refuses to acknowledge my weight loss, or changes the subject if people ask me about it. I have distanced myself from her, but still run I to her as we have the same group of friends. What I have learned the hard way is, surgery is about you, no one else. This is the time you take to worry about your health and what YOU want to do. Others will fall in line, or have to get out of the way. If this is what you desire, then do it, and don't look back!

[kkpep 3]

My boyfriend is going to have the surgery is scheduled for 12/31. He is very open and honest with me. Honestly, I'm scared for him and us. I understand how family/friends react. I just want to see him feel good about himself. I will love him no matter how he looks,

Sorry for the ramble but when you have made the decision go with it, it is for your health. Believe in your and your decision.

[twinmommy2014 7]

This is about you, not them. Its their choice to support you or not. If they don't then they are true friends.