Now that I have your attention, that was "0's", not "O's". "0's" like in "Zeros".

My wife, Tina was fine when she hit the big 2 0

a little skittish for the big 3 0

very quiet for the big 4 0

in denial about the big 5 0

and terribly depressed about the big 6 0

which she will hit on the last day of the month.

Tina says that she doesn't want any birthday presents, no party, no celebration, no dinner out and that we should pretend that she is not having a birthday at all.

None of the big 0's ever bothered me (except the big 3 0 and that was so mild as to be almost non-existent), so I really can not comprehend what she is going through or how to help her. The funny part about it is that I will be 62, 17 days later, but I look like 10 years older than her. When we go somewhere that gives senior citizen discounts (55 for the movies, some fast food beverages), they ask her for ID unless I order for both of us. She has about as much chance of getting a senior citizen discount when alone (without showing ID) as our 14 year old grandson has of buying cigarettes or liquor.

None the less, she still is in a funk about turning 60. Does anyone, particularly you women out there, have any suggestions? Before you answer, neither diamonds or cars will suffice as an answer. This is about depression; hers, not driving me to the brink of financial depression.

please know the iifference between dementia and alzheimers--at 90 it is dementia--you get alzheimers in your late 50's---it is not caused by the hardning of the arteries as is dementia......while some of the symptoms are the same, they are definately two different maladys!!

So glad to here from you TOM, I was getting worried but hoping you were OK.

Hi TOM: I have to confess I hardly missed you. I've been out of pocket for the past couple of weeks and no computer. I'm glad nothing too wild and raucous happened while I was gone.

Your email, above, made me tired just reading it. If you're taking Lexapro, good luck. I tried taking it twice and both times became more and more exhausted! I wound up prone on the couch until I could crawl into bed. Day after day. The doc sez most people get past the lethargic stage and that it works well with practically zero side effects.

Right now I'm on Wellbutrin and I wouldn't trade it for anything! At first it sort of hopped me up (which I desparately needed at the time) but now it just keeps me from being sad and really grumpy with people.

Glad you and Tina have enjoyed her time back in Fla. I hope her mom is doing all right, all things considered.

We're facing a similar scenario with my MIL. There are no perfect options.

I was also wondering what happened to you TOM. I always enjoy reading your posts.

Every year I tell my MIL, who will be 87 this month, that there is no such thing as a bad birthday.

When younger people ask me how I feel about growing old, I tell 'em that it is not that pleasant but better than the alternative.:phanvan

I have never been able to figure out how people know for certain that growing old is better than the alternative!

Decay is disgusting.

Disg/cay is never disgusting ,eh, is it?

Today is my 62nd Birthday.

I am living the day in fear. Tina's mother has taken a turn for the worst and I am praying that she does not die today. My mother died on my 19th Birthday, putting a stain on my birthday for the rest of my life and the last thing I need is for Tina's mother to die on my Birthday.

Tina has elected to stay here with me in Florida. She found out that her mother has been running an extremely high fever for about 4 days, but decided that sitting in the hospital room watching her mother sleep would be too much of a strain for her, so she elected to stay. How many times can she fly up to Brooklyn? Besides, I can console her and try to take her mind off the situation while we are together here in Florida.

This is always a bed week for me:

The anniversary of my mother's death is April 17th.

The anniversary of my father's death is April 18th.

The anniversary of my step father's death is April 12th.

TOM

PS: These anti-depressants are depressing me.

Well TOM....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I know you will spend the day worrying---but try to find some time to celebrate the new healthier you!

Sorry you are having a tough time with the meds. Have you spoke with the Dr.?

My great Grandma died the day I got married the first time (I shoulda seen it as a sign?)---I understand that is not the same. I hope you do not have another death associated with your special day. I know it is hard not to remember these things. My DH actually proposed to me on the worst day of the year to me---unknown to him. I lost twin sons to a placental abruption situation in my first marriage, I lost them 2 weeks to the day before we had the c section scheduled. That has been well over 20 years ago, and as the day approaches later this month, my heart still pounds, and I feel an acute sense of loss, and panic, not knowing how to deal with the feelings. When he made plans to propose, he picked the Saturday evening to set things up, and was so busy in his plans, he missed what it was. My first marriage was extremely abusive. I tell myself now as a way to cope I suppose, that Rick proposing on that day was my little boys giving the OK sign.

As hard as it will be on Tina, and on you as well (especially if it is on your day) she will then be able to begin healing, and the 2 of you can move on without the dark cloud of doom hanging overhead.

I will think of you today and wish you happiness, and good health, both today and in the coming year.

((((HUGS))))

Kat

This is always a bed week for me:

The anniversary of my mother's death is April 17th.

The anniversary of my father's death is April 18th.

The anniversary of my step father's death is April 12th.

April sucks, doesn't it, TOM?

April 16th - Anniversary of my first marriage. He was killed in an industrial accident at the age of 27.

April 14th - My grandson's BD....the one who died of SIDS 3 months later.

"April is the cruellest month..." wrote T.S. Elliot, the poet.

Hope you have time to celebrate that fact that this birthday may not have happened for you at all if not for the positive changes, fortitude, strength, and courage you have exhibited. Happy Birthday, TOM! Celebrate all that's good today and not what has been and what may be. Sending prayers your way. Karen

Today is my 62nd Birthday.

Happy Birthday check this out...

http://www.superlaugh.com/1/bdaybaby.htm