Enabling

[mistysj 1,939]

Misty, OMG you are an amazing, strong woman! May God Bless YOU! Thank you for sharing your story, makes some of the issues I deal with seem so trivial. I was never a fat kid - was actually called "Olive Oil" from Popeye…that is until my parents went through a divorce…My dad pretty much abandoned us and it was food that I turned to, since then, it's been a struggle but now I FINALLY feel like I have a handle/chance to correct my bad habits.

I "liked" your post because you are overcoming things. Let me tell you, you don't have bad habits and you aren't bad. You have coping strategies that are out of date for your current life. You are finding new, more appropriate ones.

[mistysj 1,939]

And now that I've spewed enough psychobabble for the day, I'll go and get ready to have my fucked gallbladder removed in a couple of hours! Please say a prayer or chant a mantra or sacrifice a goat that this stops the 6-month run of the runs, or at the very least, that I never have a 14-hour gallstone attack again.

[lsereno 2,525]

And now that I've spewed enough psychobabble for the day, I'll go and get ready to have my fucked gallbladder removed in a couple of hours! Please say a prayer or chant a mantra or sacrifice a goat that this stops the 6-month run of the runs, or at the very least, that I never have a 14-hour gallstone attack again.

I'll be thinking of you. Best wishes for a speedy and I eventful surgery and recovery.

Lynda

[No game 14,436]

And now that I've spewed enough psychobabble for the day, I'll go and get ready to have my fucked gallbladder removed in a couple of hours! Please say a prayer or chant a mantra or sacrifice a goat that this stops the 6-month run of the runs, or at the very least, that I never have a 14-hour gallstone attack again.

Good luck misty and check in when you can

[M2G 1,836]

And now that I've spewed enough psychobabble for the day, I'll go and get ready to have my fucked gallbladder removed in a couple of hours! Please say a prayer or chant a mantra or sacrifice a goat that this stops the 6-month run of the runs, or at the very least, that I never have a 14-hour gallstone attack again.

Oh Misty, good luck! I had my gallbladder removed about 15 years ago and I will say this: Having a GB attack is seriously the worst pain I've ever had. I've given birth to 2 girls and ONE of them without the aid of pain meds (not by choice. ) So yeah I would take giving unmedicated birth again over having another GB attack. Hugs!

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

Good luck Misty! GB hate/removal here. I was listing to the left for 5 years…now getting rid of the stomach too I am balanced. Physically anyway.

[BlessedBeyondMeasure2012 296]

So I've finally caught up, took me 3 days to do it but here I am.

No questions about it, I'm an addict. Not just to sugar and carbs but to food. FOOD still tastes good to me on a daily basis. I haven't given my sleeve anything that it didn't tolerate just fine. As I have gotten further out it has become harder to stay on track because now I don't have this list of like 4 foods that it is okay for me to eat. I actually have to choose to eat what I should, and for the most part, I do. I have days that I fall off the wagon, but each day is a new day. I get up, brush myself off and start again.

I am from Louiaiana. Not just from the south but from one of the most obese states in our country. You know there are "starving kids in China" so we don't throw food away, or at least that's what we were told growing up. My grandmother was a feeder. Everyday after school (after finishing off a big grab bag of flaming hot cheetos and a large icee) she would have Cookies or cake or fried chicken fixed and just hanging around. We got to eat what ever, when ever we wanted. This was all before the age of 13. It didn't stop. When I was in my early teens my parents did a dieting program through our church and lost weight. I didn't lose weight. I ate what they ate but I ate as much as I wanted. When I was a junior or senior in high school, I went through the program with them and lost 30 pounds. When I started college my freshman 15 turned into my sophomore 60 and stuck around for my senior 70. I seriously gained around 80 pounds in my 4 years of college. I lost some while working on my second degree but then got pregnant just before I graduated. When I went in to have my son I was 286 pounds (I had gained somewhere between 50-80 pounds during my pregnancy). I lost about 20 after I had him but within 4 months put it back on. Fast forward 5 years and I can't get pregnant. We think it's because of my weight gain (I'm now about 320) so I decide to go for a sleeve. A month before my sleeve was scheduled to be done, I find out I'm pregnant. And you know what, I was SAD!!! I wanted this surgery. I wanted to be healthy for my pregnancy but here I was super morbidly obese and pregnant. Gross. I only gained 23 pounds during my second pregnancy and the baby weighed almost 10 pounds so not too bad. That weight came off pretty quick and then I was sleeved when the baby was 4 weeks old. It was the best decision I have ever made.

I have learned a lot already. I know that I have limited will power. My will power stops when I take a bite of anything. I can resist any food all day long until I take one bite and then it is all over. I can't stop myself. Carbs are a nightmare. If I start the day off with them, I'm hungry all day and wanting to eat. Same goes for sugar. But it isn't just those. Like Cheri, it fried goodness, burgers, savory, spicy, chips and salsa, FOOD! I have eaten out of bordom, I ate when I was happy and when I was sad. Something good happened, "Oh, lets celebrate! Where do you want to go eat?" Something bad happened, "Oh, bless your heart. What can I get you to eat?" It was never ending. I haven't been a big food sneaker but there were times that I did. I could, and probably still can but have not tried, to polish off a pint of ice cream in a single sitting. I never ate a whole pizza but I sure could eat half a large by myself. I was the one who finished my husbands food, and the kid's. I was the same as someone before who would go to McD's and get a large value meal and get chicken nuggets to go with it. I was out of control.

Now I am not a slave to food. I don't think about it all the time. I enjoy it but it does not rule my life. I have an amazing support system and my hubby is happy to finish my left overs So much has changed about me in the last 8 months, on the inside and the outside. I am liking this new person I am becoming. I used to tell people that people liked me for the same reasons they like Santa Claus, cause I was fat and jolly! I'm still jolly. My joy is dependent on far more than the weight I carry or my circumstances but people are going to have to find a new reason to like me!

[Butterthebean 8,146]

And now that I've spewed enough psychobabble for the day, I'll go and get ready to have my fucked gallbladder removed in a couple of hours! Please say a prayer or chant a mantra or sacrifice a goat that this stops the 6-month run of the runs, or at the very least, that I never have a 14-hour gallstone attack again.

Best of luck Misty. I'm chanting for you over here. I'm burning candles and I sacrificed a goldfish. You don't wanna know what I'm wearing....or where I put the candle wax.

[No game 14,436]

So I've finally caught up, took me 3 days to do it but here I am. No questions about it, I'm an addict. Not just to sugar and carbs but to food. FOOD still tastes good to me on a daily basis. I haven't given my sleeve anything that it didn't tolerate just fine. As I have gotten further out it has become harder to stay on track because now I don't have this list of like 4 foods that it is okay for me to eat. I actually have to choose to eat what I should, and for the most part, I do. I have days that I fall off the wagon, but each day is a new day. I get up, brush myself off and start again. I am from Louiaiana. Not just from the south but from one of the most obese states in our country. You know there are "starving kids in China" so we don't throw food away, or at least that's what we were told growing up. My grandmother was a feeder. Everyday after school (after finishing off a big grab bag of flaming hot cheetos and a large icee) she would have Cookies or cake or fried chicken fixed and just hanging around. We got to eat what ever, when ever we wanted. This was all before the age of 13. It didn't stop. When I was in my early teens my parents did a dieting program through our church and lost weight. I didn't lose weight. I ate what they ate but I ate as much as I wanted. When I was a junior or senior in high school, I went through the program with them and lost 30 pounds. When I started college my freshman 15 turned into my sophomore 60 and stuck around for my senior 70. I seriously gained around 80 pounds in my 4 years of college. I lost some while working on my second degree but then got pregnant just before I graduated. When I went in to have my son I was 286 pounds (I had gained somewhere between 50-80 pounds during my pregnancy). I lost about 20 after I had him but within 4 months put it back on. Fast forward 5 years and I can't get pregnant. We think it's because of my weight gain (I'm now about 320) so I decide to go for a sleeve. A month before my sleeve was scheduled to be done, I find out I'm pregnant. And you know what, I was SAD!!! I wanted this surgery. I wanted to be healthy for my pregnancy but here I was super morbidly obese and pregnant. Gross. I only gained 23 pounds during my second pregnancy and the baby weighed almost 10 pounds so not too bad. That weight came off pretty quick and then I was sleeved when the baby was 4 weeks old. It was the best decision I have ever made. I have learned a lot already. I know that I have limited will power. My will power stops when I take a bite of anything. I can resist any food all day long until I take one bite and then it is all over. I can't stop myself. Carbs are a nightmare. If I start the day off with them, I'm hungry all day and wanting to eat. Same goes for sugar. But it isn't just those. Like Cheri, it fried goodness, burgers, savory, spicy, chips and salsa, FOOD! I have eaten out of bordom, I ate when I was happy and when I was sad. Something good happened, "Oh, lets celebrate! Where do you want to go eat?" Something bad happened, "Oh, bless your heart. What can I get you to eat?" It was never ending. I haven't been a big food sneaker but there were times that I did. I could, and probably still can but have not tried, to polish off a pint of ice cream in a single sitting. I never ate a whole pizza but I sure could eat half a large by myself. I was the one who finished my husbands food, and the kid's. I was the same as someone before who would go to McD's and get a large value meal and get chicken nuggets to go with it. I was out of control. Now I am not a slave to food. I don't think about it all the time. I enjoy it but it does not rule my life. I have an amazing support system and my hubby is happy to finish my left overs So much has changed about me in the last 8 months, on the inside and the outside. I am liking this new person I am becoming. I used to tell people that people liked me for the same reasons they like Santa Claus, cause I was fat and jolly! I'm still jolly. My joy is dependent on far more than the weight I carry or my circumstances but people are going to have to find a new reason to like me!

[gamergirl 4,609]

I'm a newbie with a big mouth, but I feel like this site is divided between really intelligent people whose stories I want to follow, and people who just want to be told that their crazy ideas are valid.

I should just put this in my signature, but talk to me again in 6 months and see if I feel the same way.

When we were single, my husband and I were both on e-harmony--which sucked, but they had a free forum. The "main" forum had predictably the same, same, same, crazy posts. They were on the order of "why didn't he call?" Women always want rich men, men always want sexy women" "women never pay, guys always have to" "why wont she have sex with me" "women hate me because I'm short" "men always want sex".....you get the idea.

And then there was a sub-forum called Completely Stupid Conversations where you could talk about anything. There were a bunch of us who had been dating for a while and while every once in a while we might have our own "why didn't s/he call?" anxiety for the most part we were working through other things and wanted a safe place where we could just chit chat.

Well I met my husband on that forum--Completely Stupid Conversations. Everyone was fighting on the main forum and I started a thread to distract everyone titled, "What makes YOU so special?" (Which I am about to start here). And he told us what made him special and I think I fell in love with him just a little bit right then.

Those people that I met there, five years later we are still tightly connected on FB. So many others came and went, but in the forum we were in? There were TEN weddings! Out of maybe 100 people? because we all got to know each other so well. Roger and I were second on that list of weddings.

So I think all forums are like that. People form sub-groups and we just chat and hang out and "outside, over yonder" the newbie madness and panic continues until some of those people aren't newbies and then they drift in and the married ones drift out.

It's the circle of forum life my friend!

[SoccerMomma73 1,867]

When we were single, my husband and I were both on e-harmony--which sucked, but they had a free forum. The "main" forum had predictably the same, same, same, crazy posts. They were on the order of "why didn't he call?" Women always want rich men, men always want sexy women" "women never pay, guys always have to" "why wont she have sex with me" "women hate me because I'm short" "men always want sex".....you get the idea. And then there was a sub-forum called Completely Stupid Conversations where you could talk about anything. There were a bunch of us who had been dating for a while and while every once in a while we might have our own "why didn't s/he call?" anxiety for the most part we were working through other things and wanted a safe place where we could just chit chat. Well I met my husband on that forum--Completely Stupid Conversations. Everyone was fighting on the main forum and I started a thread to distract everyone titled, "What makes YOU so special?" (Which I am about to start here). And he told us what made him special and I think I fell in love with him just a little bit right then. Those people that I met there, five years later we are still tightly connected on FB. So many others came and went, but in the forum we were in? There were TEN weddings! Out of maybe 100 people? because we all got to know each other so well. Roger and I were second on that list of weddings. So I think all forums are like that. People form sub-groups and we just chat and hang out and "outside, over yonder" the newbie madness and panic continues until some of those people aren't newbies and then they drift in and the married ones drift out. It's the circle of forum life my friend!

dammit(ed?) now I have that song stuck in my head....thanks bunches :(

[buplee 556]

I think it's different for guys. I don't know that many men who put on weight without consuming large quantities of food. Women, not so much. As we age, or even after we have kids, breast feed, all of that, something changes significantly in our bodies and we can get fat on a LOT less and macro-nutrients matter a lot. I thought my husband was the first man I knew who could weigh a lot without eating a lot. Then he told me that every week when I left to go out of town, he'd binge, and was too embarrassed to tell me. He also grazed a lot even when I was home. And when we had special meals, the man could eat. Not so for me and I think based on Fluff and some other women's posts, I think it's really different for women.

I didn't eat huge quantities but ate very rich meals and liquid supplements(eg- copious amounts of wines and the occasional cocktails) while in business meetings and while traveling or dining out with my wife, family and or friends. My long hours and not sticking to workouts aided in my weight gain. I did the 5:30am workout for awhile and lost 60lbs. When I stopped hitting the gym, I regained 70lbs.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

I totally understand your forum love, GG. For several years (back when God's forum was just a pup) I was involved with one at TWoP (Television without Pity.) It was the forum snarking on the Bachelor. There was a group of about 20 of us that just hit it off and eventually moved off the site and opened our own forum. And then FB kind of took off and the forum more or less disbanded…but I'm still at the minimum FB friends with pretty much everyone. (A couple of people didn't make it over.) We have also had a couple of weddings, several babies, divorces, the whole thing...

But I gravitate toward this group because the feeling is the same. And I can't fight this feeling anymore.

Incidentally, that's the song Butter is playing as he waxes and chants. A little REO to get the mood right.

[ReDbEaN 654]

I am from Louiaiana. Not just from the south but from one of the most obese states in our country. You know there are "starving kids in China" so we don't throw food away, or at least that's what we were told growing up.

Me too…and that is DEFINITELY a phrase I heard growing up! Doesn't help that our food tastes so good, which makes you want to eat it! Which part are you from?

[ReDbEaN 654]

And now that I've spewed enough psychobabble for the day, I'll go and get ready to have my fucked gallbladder removed in a couple of hours! Please say a prayer or chant a mantra or sacrifice a goat that this stops the 6-month run of the runs, or at the very least, that I never have a 14-hour gallstone attack again.

Best of luck to you and a speedy recovery