Hello Everyone

I am very new to this site, but already love it. I feel like I am among friends here. I have started the process of going having the sleeve surgery. I do not have an surgery date yet; waiting on insurance.

My husband and I were talking today about life after the surgery. I have decided to keep my surgery, not necessarily a secret, but more like a select amount of people will know that I had it done. We have noticed some patients lose weight rather quickly...so what will people think about my rapid weight loss. I have been overweight for about 7 years because of many spine operations, so being overweight right now is a given. But, I do not want people to look at me as if I am doing something illegal, or that I am sick because I am losing weight too quickly.

Maybe my question is weird, but I just want to know if any of you have experienced this situation. What do you tell people if they ask? I am not ashamed at what I am doing, and looking forward to having the surgery done. My spine needs some relief from the extra weight. I just come from a very nosey family, and gossip spreads rather quickly.

Thank you in advance for all of your comments and suggestions.

Danielle

I totally agree with you MichiganChic! It's nobody's business but your own and who you decide to share your life with. People tend to be so nosey and gossipy and judgmental that I care not to be watched like a hawk at my job. I also don't need their approval or support since I've got plenty of that from family and close friends who really DO care about my health and well being. Some people don't have that and rely on co-workers as a support system. The only thing I say to that is be careful since jealousy can ensue from time to time when the overweight you has transformed into the new sexier you.

I told everyone the truth. I've had a few ppl ask y didn't I just diet. I just told them I had been struggling with my weight for yrs. I am the type of personality that unless ur in my life and very close ur opinion is just that. Ur opinion. My husband supports and loves me and he is the only one in my life that his opinion matters. I'm very blessed to have him support me fully!

Oh, and for what it's worth -- people at work who see me every day are only just now noticing that I've lost weight (I've lost 80 lbs!!!!). And they had already noticed a change in my eating behaviors waaaay back in the beginning, before they noticed I lost weight, so in a way it is very easy for them to believe that I've done this solely through lifestyle change. And let me say that my success IS through lifestyle change....I just have this awesome tool to help me <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />

Ha. I am so happy to read this post. My own mother, who lives I my town and sees me several times a month, still hasn't noticed my nearly 50 pound weight loss. Even my everyday coworkers have hardly noticed. Only two have asked if I have lost weight. To both I said "thank you for noticing. Yes, I have. I have been working at it". Seems folks are so often so occupied with their own lives that they have not pressed me for additional info. When someone finally says something about my change in appearance my ego and my wish for privacy are both happy!

When people ask how I am losing weight, I tell them it is diet and exercise.

A friend of a friend of mine lost heaps of weight - totally transformed. Now that I have had the surgery, I am looking at formally fat people with new eyes, going "Aha! That's how she did it!"

I'm happy to tell people. There was one "friend" I told a lie to (said I had my gall bladder out), only because she is malicious and a gossip.

But my tiny weight loss is not visible yet.

I merely say to anyone who doesn't need to know, that I lost through portion control and exercise.

People at work knew from the get go...I work at the hospital where I had the surgery and my boss had it two months before I did...her success was much touted and we talked at length about tips & hints about postop life before my sleeve. I wasn't shy about it at work at all. However, for people outside of work...only those who are closest to me know and anyone we spend time at restaurants with...don't want them to think I'm weird when ordering off the kids' menu or only have a chicken skewer (or half of it! lol) for dinner. Everyone has been VERY positive about it and for me, it was first about vanquishing Diabetes (done already!) and weight loss was secondary. Most that I told about the surgery before my sleeve said, "Well you don't look BIG enough to need that done."

Completely understand why most folks would keep it private and respect that, but the majority of people today (at least the somewhat medically educated folks) don't look down on us for having WLS anymore. Maybe it's because I work at a hospital (am a trainer). But, there have been enough reality shows and coverage of WLS and its medical advances for them to realize it's not a cop-out or a band-aid, it's just a TOOL. And we all work HARD at using that tool to be successful. Most look at me in awe that I walk past the pizza lunches and birthday cakes at work functions without blinking. lol

I didn't tell anyone except my immediate family...when people ask, I tell them I made lifestyle changes. My mother in law worked for weight watcher for twenty years...she's very anti rny. But when she stopped working for WW, she gained about 75 lbs... She still throws stones.

" I've had a few ppl ask y didn't I just diet."

Caution, it's one of them days:

1) Because I have been diagnosed with Murchausen Syndrome.

2) I find diets to be terribly boring, don't you?

3) I chose this over my yearly trip to Paris. The scenery was better from the hospital window (what a parking lot!)

4) Why don't you kiss my butt. It's low calorie too!

I told people the truth from the very beginning. When people tell me I look great I get embarrassed. I have not been at this weight in over 32 years since the birth of my first child. When someone makes an ugly comment like you took the easy way out, I generally say if you think the surgery and lifestyle changes are easy then you do not know enough about the program, it is the hardest thing I have done in my entire life.

First I want to say that everyone needs to decide if and who they want to tell in their own way. What works for one person may not work for another.

For me, I've told pretty much everyone.

I was always the heaviest among my longtime friends after having children. They all saw me fight my weight for years. I walked into a backyard Bar-B-Que 9 months after my surgery and was treated with comments like "OMG! You look like you did in high school!" Of course, made me feel AWESOME!!

Family: the comments are, "You look younger and younger each time I see you."

Work colleagues: a Partner at my firm helped me decide to have VSG by telling me it was the best thing he ever did for himself when I approached him with questions. I decided to tell everyone at work what I was doing. Some of the females were kind of "catty" in the beginning but now that they see the work that still goes into it, they've started telling me what a good job I've done.

Overall, I've had 4 different people consider VSG because of me putting it out there and if i can be the person that helps even one person decide to do what I now consider the best thing I ever did for myself, I'll feel great about it and be there to support them 100%.

I SO agree!!!!

I try to be vague as well when people ask me. They're not looking for a real scoop anyways, it's just small talk usually. I will usually ask them something about themselves and off they go --- people love to talk about themselves! And then the attention is off me

I do have to say though, that if one of my obese friends or coworkers were to sit down with me and genuinely ask how I was doing it, because they were in that desperate same place that I was not so very long ago, I would tell them. I feel it would be cruel not to.

I agree with you. General questions, usually from acquaintances who don't know me well, get general answers like eating right and exercising - which is true but not the whole truth. These are people with whom I don't share very personal info of any kind, even before my surgery. Family and close friends already know. But if someone asks me and seems to have a real need for a personal solution to their own weight problem, I will definitely share the whole truth and recommend my doctor if they are interested. Like you, I agree it would be cruel not to tell them.