Banded, Confused, and Bummed Out...Should I Remove It?

bbw1924 · March 5, 2007

Hey everyone. I've been disappointed with my band experience and I was hoping I could get a little advice from you guys. I was banned on 9/13/06 and I haven't lost much weight. I lost a few pounds immediately post op but it didn't take long for me to fall back into my old terrible eating habits. I've only had one fill thus far and though I have a little restriction, I can still get down a pretty good amount of food. This whole procedure has made me realize that I have a serious food addiction. Iv'e been overweight and had issues with food for over 15 years but now I see the light on this addiction like never before. On my worse days, I actually force food down to the point of serious discomfort. I haven't been to the doctor or any support meeting in over 4 months because I'm embarrased about my weight. I started out at 380 and though I haven't weighed myself in a while, I know I'm still well over 350 lbs. All my friends and family know I got the surgery and they all wonder why I'm not dropping pounds like others who have had wls. This all has me very depressed and as a result I turn to food even more to comfort me. I'm scared to get another fill because I fear I will continue to try to overeat and end up seriously hurting myself. Restriction in my stomach doesn't really make me feel "full", the food just feels "stuck" and I find my self just waiting until the food "goes down" some so I can eat some more. Isn't this isane? I haven't had any physical problems with the band except for a little sorenes in the port are every now and again. Yet still I am seriously considering getting the band removed. I never was thrilled about the idea of a foreign device in my body, and now I realize that the issue is with ME and my terrible habits, not the size of my stomach. Do you guys think another fill will help my situation? Or should I just focus on the REAL problems within me. I'm confused and utterly depressed. If it wasn't for the love for my children I would have given up on life a long time ago. Any insight would be helpful.

GayleTX · March 5, 2007

If you have had only one fill you don't yet have a working band.....it's just now getting geared up. Get yourself back to your doctor ASAP and get another fill and get a referral to a therapist....like most problems, dealing with our food problems take more than one type of solution....we need many sources of help. You are no different than anyone else with any other kind of addiction....you've made the first step - you've realized you have a problem. But now you are sitting out there alone and that's not working for you - so try something else rather than just give up and commit slow suicide by mouth.

Has anyone taught you how to eat? Do you know the rules for eating as a bandster? Do you eat Protein first? Have you cut out all white carbs so that your body won't have the wild fluctuations with sugar bounces that create cravings? That is very important.....get de-toxed from carbs just as if it were heroine.

If you don't know food values (how much protein/carbs, etc is in different foods), then learn them. The things that works best for me is using fitday.com....I limit my carbs (only eat good ones, no starches like Pasta, rice, white bread, potatoes) to less than 50gr/day; I make sure I get at least 100 gr protein/day (get you some good supplements that you love that will help satisfy). Ddrink at least 1/2 gal water/day...no drinking with meals or 1 hr afterward...and NO carbonated drinks for the rest of your life. This will help cleanse your body from carbs, lessen the cravings, and you will begin to lose and not be hungry and miserable.

Stand up, don't give up!! Do something positive for yourself - get a fill, get a therapist and get on the road to recovery, sweeties. You can do this!!

Iluvharleys · March 5, 2007

I agree with everything that was said. If you have only had one fill, you aren't even at a point that will restrict your eating. It took me about 5 fills before I got my restriction. Don't give up untill you give it a chance. If you think you won't be able to eat, you will be able to. I eat anything I want, I just watch the portions. Just my opinion!

marjon9 · March 5, 2007

I think the usual advice here would be to get another fill, but I hear what you are saying about how you might just try to force food down a hole that is even smaller than before and risk hurting yourself. My advice is not to get a fill right now. If anything, I'd get completely unfilled, begin a program of therapy, and only return to the band when you are ready. There is nothing the band can do for the stuff going on in your head. I feel like if you get another fill right now and deal with serious restriction, you could hurt yourself, and you will almost surely head down the path toward having the band removed.

Personally, I think you should feel quite good about the fact that you are able to be so honest with yourself about what is going on. I think you sense that another fill is not the answer right now, and that you need some help with what is going on in your head. Follow those instincts. But that does not mean you need to have the band permanently removed. I suggest getting a complete unfill and putting the band on the backburner for a while. You can always return to it later when you are ready. There is no need to have it removed. In a few months, you may be ready for it.

Good luck and please keep us informed. Take advantage of this group. That's what we are here for.

Eficka · March 5, 2007

Hello, I know what you are talking about, been there and done it.first of all great thing is that you realize that you have a serious problem.now you need to work with it.

just convince yourself that the food doesnt run your life its you who runs your life.to start with just not to overeat that often, everytime you dont overeat although you want to is your small victory-reward yourself (of course not with food:-)

and see a therapist they can help you with medication and finding out why you are addicted to foof.

good luck to you!!

bbw1924 · March 5, 2007

Thank you all for your input. Its hard to talk to "regular" people about this, they have no idea about the struggles of an obese person and even less understanding when it comes to the band. Gayle you are right, carbs and sweets are demons in my life right now. I just made a move to a different state so I'm in the process of locating support groups and a new Dr. Any one else from ohio (dayton area)? Thanks so much for the support.

bwaydiva · March 5, 2007

well honey of course you're depressed! Try not to be so hard on yourself! You just moved to a new state, you're dealing with post-band blues and you have no face time with anyone who understands!! If I was in Ohio I would drive over and give you a HUGE hug.

I agree with what everyone else has been saying. There are actually a few very helpful threads on food addictions, namely bulimia, but it's all the same root cause. We don't feel good enough about ourselves to treat our bodies with love and respect. It's hard to work the band or any program for that matter but I would recommend starting with working on yourself. Go to a therapist... even a few sessions can really help you get things in perspective. Check with the local hospitals to see if they have any OA meetings or any post op groups. The only person who would judge you at those meetings is yourself. Give yourself a little hug, keep reaching out on LBT and find someone who can give you, non-judgemental face time. You are doing great. You are reaching out and trying! Keep it up.

With love, Sheila

TheCascadian · March 6, 2007

bbw- love your username!

Keep your chin up, this is only the beginning. You have not even had your band for one year yet- Very few of us can just effortlessly drop the weight, especially not when we are struggling with the mental portion of weight loss!

I agree with what others said about some counseling, maybe even ask about some pills for compulsive behaviour? I dunno, I'm no doctor, but I do know there is plenty of help out there for you.

If the people around you aren't supportive, you have to FORGET about them for a time and focus on yourself. As you said, they aren't struggling with this so it's easy for them to judge. You are doing this for good reasons and you deserve to succeed: don't let their expectations and attitudes ruin your efforts.

And we have a rants and raves section on here to let loose on anybody who really steams you, so feel free to let it all out down there.

Good luck to you, no matter what you decide.

ralheit · March 6, 2007

I think a lot of us understand. There are few of us who have been perfect bandsters. Emotional eating is very hard to deal with without help. I've been banded almost a year and recently, due to some things going on in my life, I have caught myself eating some really bad things. Once you are ready and get a couple more fills, you won't be able to eat all the carbs like you can now. I can't touch bread or most pastas, etc. It also took me about 5 fills before I hit good restriction.

Don't give up. You're down approx. 30 pounds, that's great. Do you think you would be there if you hadn't gotten the band? We are all different. Like I said I'm out almost a year and am just over 50 pounds down. Some in a year are down nearly 100 pounds or more. You can't base your progress on others.

Take care and do what you feel you need to do. But I'd wait before I jumped at having the band removed.

marys · March 6, 2007

Dr. C www.thebanddoctor.com participates on this board and helps many people - he is in Cincinatti - not sure if that's close to you. So sorry about your troubles. While I agree with some about needing a fill to help control your eating - for where you are at this time in your life - I agree/ suggest an unfill and counseling/support. Believe me I have my demons and struggles and the band does not make them go away - in some ways they make it worse because the band throws up all the bad behaviors, etc in your face and you can't deny them. But if you continue to stuff yourself you risk losing the band/slips, etc.

The band can stay in for life and you can always get fills later when you feel a little stronger and a little more in control. You know you can do it - really - there are so many more in the same boat as you - i hope you will seek personal counseling and support groups - who cares if you've been away for 4 months - just make a decision to go back - you have nothing to lose and you are not alone!!! Take care and good luck to you.

becca77 · March 6, 2007

I really feel for you because I have been there. Some really good therapy is definately necessay. You need to understand the issues that make you eat. Keep your band and work on the thereapy in the mean time. Good luck and don't ever feel like a failure. You are strong for reaching out and we are here to help. Keep us posted.

NeenBand · March 6, 2007

I could have signed my name to the end of your post. I've had my band for a year and only a 15 lb loss and that was from the surgery. I have not lost anything on my own. I do the same things as you do.

Someone suggested I go to an overeaters anonymous meeting. Please keep me updated as I'm in the same boat.

conniesueb · March 6, 2007

I totally agree with everyone who suggested therapy. You have to get yourself in the right frame of mind for this to work. Compulsive eating is something a lot of people deal with, and I think therapy would be the best way to handle it. You are not alone, though, just remember that. And I think this could be a wake up call to a lot of people out there who are thinking about having this surgery--it is not a quick-fix or a miracle cure--it is a TOOL. You can still sabbotage yourself, whether it is intentional or not. I know some people think that if they have this surgery it is going to fix everything, and the weight is just going to fall off with no effort on their part, but that is not the case. Please don't give up though, the band can be a wonderful tool once you get the other part of it worked out. Hang in there--there are a lot of people supporting you here.

green · March 6, 2007

I think the usual advice here would be to get another fill, but I hear what you are saying about how you might just try to force food down a hole that is even smaller than before and risk hurting yourself. My advice is not to get a fill right now. If anything, I'd get completely unfilled, begin a program of therapy, and only return to the band when you are ready. There is nothing the band can do for the stuff going on in your head. I feel like if you get another fill right now and deal with serious restriction, you could hurt yourself, and you will almost surely head down the path toward having the band removed.
Personally, I think you should feel quite good about the fact that you are able to be so honest with yourself about what is going on. I think you sense that another fill is not the answer right now, and that you need some help with what is going on in your head. Follow those instincts. But that does not mean you need to have the band permanently removed. I suggest getting a complete unfill and putting the band on the backburner for a while. You can always return to it later when you are ready. There is no need to have it removed. In a few months, you may be ready for it.

Good luck and please keep us informed. Take advantage of this group. That's what we are here for.

I agree with Marjon. It sounds as though there is more going on with you that needs to be sorted out before you have a fill/restriction. It sounds as though that you are eating compulsively for reasons which are either psychological or neurological. This means that you need some additional help. You need to find yourself in the hands of a good and caring psychiatrist - and these are not always that easy to find - for you need meds and talk therapy in order to sort your compulsion out. And a psychiatrist can flag a possible neurological problem if that is the case with you.

At a later point, when you are fixed up, you can start working with a dietitian and getting your band slowly filled. This will be a fun and productive time for you. But in the meantime you need to treat yourself to some pre-band work. And don't forget to keep us in the loop.

Monica S · March 8, 2007

I was banded in Nov. 2005 and have only lost 13 lbs. for the same reasons you mention. I am in therapy but it's slow going. I feel the same way you do. I don't know what the answer is, but wanted to let you know you're not alone, not by a long shot.