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Thanksgiving With The Unthankful



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This year is going to be so stressful. I have been an emotional basketcase lately. I'm guessing due to hormones being released from the fat melting away...and. I have had a hysterectomy! My in laws don't know I had bypass and dinner is at their house. I haven't seen them in a year and I weigh the same now as one year ago. At least I am not fatter. Ugh how to tell these judgemental people I had surgery???

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You don't have to. I'm not telling my family. It will be hard but it's none of their business. Just say you are on a strict diet or don't feel well. I know how you feel. Good luck.

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I agree with Worm2872.... why do you have to tell them???? Your medical history is no ones business. YOU choose to tell who you want !!! If they ask about your eating, just say you are watching what you eat and have not recovered 100% from surgery. I say don't tell them... no need to !!! I have only told very close family and friends and a few close work friends. If someone says you look good or wow you lost weight I stay "thank you". If they say how are you doing it I say diet and exercise !!! No lie because I am on a diet and I exercise a hour + daily.

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I am doing the same thing. I will not tell my in laws. They are very judgmental people and criticize everything and everyone. When I seem my mother in law in oct I was 65 lbs lighter than the last time we seen each other. I credited eating healthy, cutting junk, and exercise. It satisfied her curiosity. Don't tell them!! But if they notice just say thank you:)

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

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Omg thats just like me!!! I have not told anyone especially my inlaws, now im having thanksgiving at heir house!!! Im just going to say i have a stomach virus..... Hoping thats enough....(crossing fingers)

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Omg thats just like me!!! I have not told anyone especially my inlaws' date=' now im having thanksgiving at heir house!!! Im just going to say i have a stomach virus..... Hoping thats enough....(crossing fingers)[/quote']

My husband tokd them I had stomach surgery. They just don't know why. Its crazy. I hate the secrets because I feel like it gives them evenn more power over me. I think I dislike the attention and drama even more though.

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Just tell them you are following your physician's plan. That is not a lie & is all they need to know. I was going to say that but my bf blabbed to anyone who would listen. Still mad about that. . .oh well . . No crying over spilled milk at this point

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I kinda wish I didn't tell some people, but then again by telling a few people - I've help then take the next step.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

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I kinda wish I didn't tell some people' date=' but then again by telling a few people - I've help then take the next step.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk[/quote']

Well I will try to not bring anything up. I will tell u how it goes

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I have told everyone... No secrets here!!! I'm proud of my accomplishments. It's hard work no matter what anyone says!!

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So odd I am struggling with the same issue. I am not blabbing my private business to many people and am especially worried about what to say to my in laws. Today we said I am sick and I stayed home. But I am also only eight days out from surgery.

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Why is it a big deal to tell or not tell people? Excuse my French but 'F' them all, your trying to improve your way of life m. Be proud of itself and your decision to change your life and be healthy. If the cant support you then screw them you don't need negative people in your life. Focus or positive ones god has put in front of you.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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