Ever since things got real... doing post-op testing, setting dates, etc.. I've been really down and depressed. I just can not believe my life has come to this. WHY can't I get healthy on my own?! This process is so much more of a mind game than I ever thought it would be. I don't want to give up food! I am so afraid that once my coping mechanism is taken away, that I won't be able to deal with life.

I know we run the gamut of emotions during this process. Anyone else had these thoughts? Anyone else feel disappointment in themselves for NEEDING this procedure?

I wish I could go back to the excitement of last week, but now it's just getting closer and closer and my thoughts/emotions are all over the place.

I did go into a slight depression after my rny. You are right this is all a mental game. I did not realize until my second month how much of a mental game it really was. My weight gain has been due to medication. I have been on prednisone for 5 years for rheumatoid arthritis and it caused me to be hungry all the time. I did not consider myself a typical fat person using food for coping measures. However after the surgery I have realized how bad my eating habits were. I still struggle with the munchies and head hunger. The great thing about this procedure is that if you truly listen to your body it will guide you to healthier choices. Everyone goes through regret the first few months and the thought of what the hell did I do to myself, but after a few months that goes away. I am now able to eat anything I want just much smaller portions. Your relationship will change, but for the better and fitting into dress and feeling sexy is a much better feeling then the candy bar you are about to eat. I look at photos from before my surgery and I do not recognize the girl in the photos.

Okay, don't laugh (I realize I'm all over the place... probably will be for months before and after surgery) but I was hungry when I wrote this. After I wrote it, I ate a bowl of high protein, low cal, delicious home-made chili. I put on my sneakers and walked for 15 minutes. I drank some water. I sat down and read on my surgeon's website about the benefits of surgery... and now I'm feeling much better. Someone remind me of this protocol next time I post something so drab! (which is likely to be tomorrow, lol)

Okay' date=' don't laugh (I realize I'm all over the place... probably will be for months before and after surgery) but I was hungry when I wrote this. After I wrote it, I ate a bowl of high Protein, low cal, delicious home-made chili. I put on my sneakers and walked for 15 minutes. I drank some Water. I sat down and read on my surgeon's website about the benefits of surgery... and now I'm feeling much better. Someone remind me of this protocol next time I post something so drab! (which is likely to be tomorrow, lol)[/quote']

Don't worry girl... We are here for support for everything.

I can promise you there will be more days like this, but I can also tell you it WILL get better after RNY. I am still learning as I am post op 10/18 but already down 30 lbs. It's an awesome feeling for jeans to fit and people to notice and to actually feel better. Although there are days I am just pissed at the world that I had to make myself fat and couldn't fix it like a normal person. Also had some of my family saying it to me. We are all here for u no matter what and u will do great and it will be worth it in the end for u!

I have found that Overeaters Anonymous helps me alot. I do it on-line. I have been sober over 23 years. I can live without booze...I have to eat! 6 months post-op I think I want to eat (pig out) and I take a bite or 2 and I push the plate away. I don't get the same satisfaction (relief-escape). I got pre-op. Some days it is hard without that wall of fat protecting me. I don't like feeling exposed. The good days out number the fear days. Just spent 2 weeks with family. Other than being tired from all the driving...no melt downs ( mine not the 2 yr old grandson) this trip.

I beat myself up ALOT...embarrassed that I used food to cope with depression, childhood and marital traumas... I hate that I didn't have the willpower to make the changes on my own... so I completely understand! Surgery 10-2...down 42 pounds and feel good but definitely have those up and down days. No regrets but fighting depression... I lost my best friend ...food hang in there and thanks for posting this!

Ever since things got real... doing post-op testing, setting dates, etc.. I've been really down and depressed. I just can not believe my life has come to this. WHY can't I get healthy on my own?! This process is so much more of a mind game than I ever thought it would be. I don't want to give up food! I am so afraid that once my coping mechanism is taken away, that I won't be able to deal with life.

I know we run the gamut of emotions during this process. Anyone else had these thoughts? Anyone else feel disappointment in themselves for NEEDING this procedure?

I wish I could go back to the excitement of last week, but now it's just getting closer and closer and my thoughts/emotions are all over the place.

Dont worry girl I felt the same way. The closer my surgery date came the more and more my mind tried to trick myself and say hey you can do this on your own you don't need the surgery. But let's be honest. How many years has it been you trying to do this on your own and failed? Exacally!!! So no you can't do it on your own you need the help. And let me just say since having the surgery, you are still doing it on your own. This is really just a tool. It's up to you if you want to lose it and keep it off or you want to keep going down the same route you always have. I have heard of people losing it and gaining it all back or not losing it at all, which I don't know if is really possible, but believe me when I say, YOU ARE DOING IT BY YOURSELF so don't feel like a failure. I did also until I got the surgery. Know I know this isn't any easier than doing it without the surgery. It just helps gives you an advantage of losing it quicker but you still have to do the right things in order for it to work. Keep your head up. It will get better. You will go through a lot of mind games after surgery too. Mine lasted about 2 weeks and now I am getting better. I hope I don't feel down again. I didn't like that. Good luck girl!

What you are feeling is very normal. I've wanted surgery for 10 years and even made steps up until insurance information was needed. I realize everyone in life needs help with something, so what if mine is weight. People get help with budgets, credit, etc.. Well I needed help with food. It's such a relief to be able to wake up and not have to think About how much am I gaining ...

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Right there with you...emotions are all over the place. Hang in there. The testing does make it all real. There is so much information in here and you are not alone.

I went thru a emotinal period right after surgery. As I have said in many posts...your affair with food will be over after surgery. What YOU choose to do with those emotions is totally up to YOU !!! When I was feeling sad or just missing the constant eating I would exercise or do something that I totally enjoyed. You will soon realize that much of your time was focused on food. I am 7 months post op and have no regrets what so ever. I now have lots of time to enjoy HEALTHY things in my life and not be so focused on food. There is a whole world out there that is just waiting for you to discover and it does not involve food.

i have been rather emotional after the surgery myself. but i also feel this enormous sense of gratitude for the surgery: gratitude that it exists, gratitude that there are brilliant surgeons who devote their careers to helping bariatric patients, grateful to the nurses who worked so hard to provide care post op. i'm so grateful this technology exists. i've watched relatives who are now elderly and paying a very high price for always having been obese. it's a privilege to have this surgery from my point of view. and this feeling of gratitude transcends the feeling of depression about not "being able to do it my own."