Yet again another fight with my husband, I am preop and my surgery scheduled for oct 3rd. initally he was against my surgery but i thought we discussed the benefits but boy was I wrong. we got into fight again and he says to me , go have your "fat surgery, you fat slob". So hurtful, im sitting here crying uncontrollably, he said that he wants nothing to do with surgery and that i better be prepared to go alone ( i have few friends and my mom may be out of town) im still going to have the surgery but i wish i wasnt alone in this battle. its not that he is insecure he just wants to keep me fat. i wish my life was different, i feel so helpless....

My husband...soon to be ex...was no support either. I am an engineering...and spent too much time after the surgery crying. But I am getting healthy, have lost 90 lbs so far...and it will be his loss. (Hug)

Hey there I was(still married same man) in a very verbally abusive relationship. Hubby even hurt my kids feelings but they don't know it since they are special need. I must have been such a special person that people right here in this group starting praying for me. I was not about to continue letting this man hurt me. A miracle from god happen & so many prayers that suddenly my hubby stoped verbally abusing me & the kids. He changed from being a jerk to being nice. He is even calling me sexy. Complimenting me all the time. When I thought there was no hope there is.

Being a lawyer or w.e. Doesn't mean you don't have feelings. You are human just like everyone. Put your foot down & I did put my foot down boy did I have enough. You are strong & counseling does help if people accept wrong doing. Wishing you all the best.

OK, all I did was ask if she was a lawyer. Not because one profession or any type of education has anything to do with physical or verball abuse. My point was if things got bad she might have the means to get out. Not everyone is finacially able to get out of a situation without help from the outside world. NOBODY deserves to be belittled no matter who or what they are.

OK' date=' all I did was ask if she was a lawyer. Not because one profession or any type of education has anything to do with physical or verball abuse. My point was if things got bad she might have the means to get out. Not everyone is finacially able to get out of a situation without help from the outside world. NOBODY deserves to be belittled no matter who or what they are.[/quote']

I didn't or wasn't attacking your comment. I was making a point that in other words it doesn't matter the job you have you can be in an abusive relationship.

My husband...soon to be ex...was no support either. I am an engineering...and spent too much time after the surgery crying. But I am getting healthy, have lost 90 lbs so far...and it will be his loss. (Hug)

You give me hope!

Hey there I was(still married same man) in a very verbally abusive relationship. Hubby even hurt my kids feelings but they don't know it since they are special need. I must have been such a special person that people right here in this group starting praying for me. I was not about to continue letting this man hurt me. A miracle from god happen & so many prayers that suddenly my hubby stoped verbally abusing me & the kids. He changed from being a jerk to being nice. He is even calling me sexy. Complimenting me all the time. When I thought there was no hope there is.

Being a lawyer or w.e. Doesn't mean you don't have feelings. You are human just like everyone. Put your foot down & I did put my foot down boy did I have enough. You are strong & counseling does help if people accept wrong doing. Wishing you all the best.

Reading this reminds me PRAYER WORKS! I read the threads about your situation and the pain it caused and the thoughts that your marriage was over. I am happy for you mami and God restored in your husband a new love for you.

Surgery 7/25/12

Go have the surgery coz u deserve a better life. Don't listen to ur husband: put yourself and your benefit first. YOU DESERVE THIS. If he doesn't change his mind later, then you'll have decisions to make later. For now, focus on yourself and the better life you will enjoy.

You know...its a funny thing about abuse. It happens at all levels and all incomes. Ironically, being in an emotionally abusive relationship hurt me worse than being in a physically abusive relationship. And my weight skyrocketed. I didn't eat excessively, but the stress prevented the ability to lose it. And guess what? High incomes don't mean we are rich...we can just be broke to a different level. You get chained to the mortgage, the car payments, the credit cards, and at the end of the week, you can still be living paycheck to paycheck.

Mizzlaw, I'm so sorry your husband lashed out as a result of his fear! My heart broke for you when I saw your post. While there is no excuse for his childish behavior, he must be afraid of this journey! YOU CAN DO IT!! YOU ARE WORTH IT!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!

Hi muzzle! I'm so sorry to hear your going through that! I agree that he may be scared about several issues. Sounds like first and foremost he's worried about you losing the weight , feeling great an maybe realizing that he's really a shit and you finding the strength to leave him. Has he always been this way with you or has he just started since he found out you were thinking about the surgery? My husband felt in the beginning that I was taking an un necessary risk and wasn't onboard with the surgery. He since has had a physical with his doctor and his doctor asked why all of a sudden was he concerned about his health etc. and he told him what I was about to do and he told my husband to congratulate me. My husband was taken back by his response and talked to him more indepth about it and now he's being supportive. If this is new behavior for your husband then he may need someone else to explain it to him, but if not.... And I suspect this verbal abuse is not new, love yourself enough to move on as hard as that may be at first. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be strong!

I'm sorry! My stupid autocorrect messed up your name. I did not mean "Muzzle" mizzlaw. My appologies!

Mizzlaw you didn't deserve that comment from your husband no matter what the fight was about. You're doing something for yourself so YOU can feel better about YOU. No one else can do that for you but, you so go for it if it's what you really want. You say your husband isn't insecure but, that comment he said proves he is.

If you want to get healthy for the right reasons then no one elses opinion matters

I hope it's gotten better and he realizes his comment was uncalled for.

Reading this reminds me PRAYER WORKS! I read the threads about your situation and the pain it caused and the thoughts that your marriage was over. I am happy for you mami and God restored in your husband a new love for you.

Surgery 7/25/12

That's true I didn't think it was possible. I thank everyone that pray for me & might still be.

I will be praying for you Darling I know all to well about verbal and physical abuse from my husband but one thing I do know is you will get tired and put your foot down eventually, I put my husband in jail and put him out and cut off all communication and when he did see me again he was ready to change and go to counseling and everything else. I'm not saying our situation is the same but we both abusive insecure husbands. As long as they know something bother you they keep doing it when you should them that you don't care they stop at least my husband did

Your self esteem is about to get a huge boost. Your husband probably is insecure even though you say he's not... A secure man wouldn't find it necessary to call his wife names like that. Those types of comments are meant to drag you down. Because as long as you are over weight, - some where in his mind- you will need him... He knows your weight keeps you with him...I wish you the best! The reason I say these thing is not to bash your husband, but its because I have been in your shoes... You will be so much more confident... You are not a doormat. And every woman wants to and deserves to be CHERISHED!!!

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