Something that has been bugging me. I notice a lot of people who go through a major change either worry about their partner being faithful, or have a partner worrying about their faith. I think it shows a strong person who can have people hitting on them, and instead of causing real pain and heartbreak either in a marriage or partnership, remain faithful. It is not fair to go from being overweight and insecure holding your spouse and saying you love them, only to become thin and confident and instead of returning the comfort your spouse once gave you, you cheat. Even if we are changing, and think ourselves capable of having any man we want, we should look the ones we have in our lives even if their fears keep them from giving up the support we need at the moment. If my boyfriend woke up one morning and every girl on earth wanted him and he knew it, I might not be so fast to pat him on the back and say "I'm proud of you!" Sure its tempting to test the new look and flirt, but the grass is not always greener. I know I'm going off on a tangent, but sometimes there is a real reason a spouse gets worried about the other cheating. If we give the comfort they need to make them understand we are not going anywhere, then we are doing our part. That does not give them the right to abuse or degrade by any means. But it seems that we have a great challenge ahead of us. It has just been on my mind is all. Thanks for reading.

Just a little of my thoughts on this if. It's worth anything. First off WTH! I mean really? Advice and opinions are a take it or leave it thing. That means mud slinging is not needed. I can't believe how a grown person can revert to a teen when on the defense. This is a subject that evokes emotion no doubt' date=' but na na naboo boo is just silly. I have a live and let live mindset, and people will do whatever the hell they please. Sometimes friends worry and don't want to see other friends hurt. This is a forum to offer support, not hurt others feelings. We all have lives when we click log out. Most of us have partners that we are proud of and love. A little playful banter does not mean anyone is " going after someone". A simple " I understand you guys are worried but I'll do what I think is best." would have been a lot more adult than going off. When you let people in on your private life, and treat them like friends, you allow them to feel okay to express their opinion. My thread post was very general, and everyone posted accordingly. So many women and men in the world have done just what I was talking about. I saw a lot of women on here sharing their thoughts and personal and might I say not so easy to talk about experiences. It's like this, my father told me this a while ago and it makes sense. If you love someone, and you are already surrounded by bs and conflict, dot your I's and cross your t's. There is no need to rush. But that's all I can do for myself. I cannot offer that advice. Because people are always so fast to jump to the defense. @ Kevin, it was with respect and tact that you replied to the thread, and I'm happy for your happiness. I wish nothing but the best for you both. @ Summer, I don't know you, but I have seen your posts and what you just said to Mami who was talking about herself and her opinion on the entire subject, was counter productive and opposite of the caring understanding person you show. There is no need for low blows. What you and Kevin do is private. No one can comment on it or give input if it's not posted. This is not a dating forum so I doubt all the women on here are trying to find the "best looking guy" but what really pissed me off about that comment, is there ARE other men on this forum that can read that. Men who just like women have self esteem issues and are struggling with their weight and looks. You were attacking one person and didn't think about the others who could be hurt by that comment. I see beautiful intelligent hearts and minds in all of the men here. a quality far more important that physical beauty. Like I said in my story. Beauty is finite, what's left after its gone is the heart. It saddens me th think that anyone would forget how screwed up it is to make looks so damn important after knowing what it's like to be judged for the very same thing. Just sayin.[/quote']

Very well said.

I'm so sorry for not thinking when I wrote the comment about the best looking guy on the forum! I have been dealing with so much the last couple of days I figured the one place I could come and not be judged would be here! I took my frustrations out on mami for posting what she posted without thinking about the feelings of the other guys on here! And I'm not saying that any of the other men on here are not good looking just simply stated that I feel Kevin is the hottest in my opinion! I'm truly sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings! But mami took something from my fb page and brought it over to the forum when if she had a problem with mine and Kevin's relationship she should have said something on there instead of here!!

Again I am sorry if I offended anyone that was truly not my intentions I was simply defending my relationship!

When you changed your screen name to kevinsbsbygirl you made if known that you were together with Kevin. Your right I shouldn't had put you were in a relationship with Kevin unless you made it public here I apologized for that. I just want what's best for you. Believe it or not I really like you. We have aot of things on comment. I just didn't want you making a mistake. Friends are here to support & care for one another. If you don't consider me a friend just tell me. I won't say anything else about the subject. I do love people to be honest & up front

I believe if you want the thread closed the only way to do so is if the original thread starter closes it. But that authorization is given by the web designer, Alex and his crew. Some forums don't allow posts removed once started, other do. You'd have to ask Alex if you can delete it.

You may be able to delete your own posts as well but, again...only if the forum is set up that way.

So sorry to hear about the separation Vamp. I truly believe that life unfolds exactly the way it is supposed to. There is nothing you cannot be' date=' do or have.[/quote']

Thanks for that I truly believe its fate that brought me and Kevin together!! He's super sweet and I'm the luckiest girl alive!

Chaotica- very well said; I just wanted to let you know I've read quite a few of your posts and feel like you are spot on in a lot of what you say. You are such a blessing to our board.. A true voice of reason.

Mami- I also wanted to say' date=' thank you for being real. As a fellow New Yorker, I know we are straight shooters and many times even though we are abrasive we speak from the heart. I'm sure you had nothing but good intentions looking out for Summer.

Summer & Kevin- I wish nothing but the best for you guys. I know and understand what you are going through Summer and I'm sure you feel as if the world is turned upside down. Please understand I do think mostly everyone on here has your best interest at heart. I just want to caution you as well... Remember that if you are ultimately headed for divorce he can use anything you post on FB or even on here against you which could effect your divorce proceedings. I know you are proud/excited about your relationship but I simply want to caution you about how much you guys put out there until things settle. Again, I wish both of you true happiness just want to make sure with emotions running so high everything is considered. I know from my experience my ex tried everything to try to take me down so to speak in court. Just be prepared.

I wanted to add I really do enjoy getting to know the wonderful people on this board. We have so many great folks with diverse backgrounds and beliefs all with the common interest of getting fit and healthy. You all bring something to this board and for that we are all very blessed.

And as a side note; we most definitely have a great group of men on here! Screw just the superficial looks bit--(but they are hot as well) but their input and intelligence and insight adds SO much to this board.

[/quote']

I am really taken aback that I mean that much to you. :') thank you from the depths of my heart for such kind words. You have all made this place a virtual home away from home for me. I'm sorry I have not posted a thank you sooner, its been well into the 100's here and I've been less than motivated to do little else but lay around trying not to melt.

I am really taken aback that I mean that much to you. :') thank you from the depths of my heart for such kind words. You have all made this place a virtual home away from home for me. I'm sorry I have not posted a thank you sooner' date=' its been well into the 100's here and I've been less than motivated to do little else but lay around trying not to melt.[/quote']

I just think sometimes it's important to let people know you value them for who and what they are. It takes a certain kind of person to be able to speak their mind and not tiptoe around the topics being discussed- even when your view may not be the popular opinion of the board. So no thank you's necessary just keep being you

It's been super hot here in NYC as well- tomorrows predicted temp is 102.. Ugh! I'm going to do my best not to melt as well. Though I think the heat is the reason I had a five lb loss this week lol. Stay cool out there everyone

I just think sometimes it's important to let people know you value them for who and what they are. It takes a certain kind of person to be able to speak their mind and not tiptoe around the topics being discussed- even when your view may not be the popular opinion of the board. So no thank you's necessary just keep being you

It's been super hot here in NYC as well- tomorrows predicted temp is 102.. Ugh! I'm going to do my best not to melt as well. Though I think the heat is the reason I had a five lb loss this week lol. Stay cool out there everyone

You know Mary that is what makes mine and Kevin's relationship work so well! We have so much in common including our surgeries and we've been nothing but totally and completely honest with each other about everything!!

Summer- I would never judge you or Kevin for the decisions you guys make. I wish nothing but the best. I just know from my experience how stressful divorce can be and want to make sure you know that your ex may use anything he can against you. They tend to grasp at straws so to speak to make you look bad.

Summer- I would never judge you or Kevin for the decisions you guys make. I wish nothing but the best. I just know from my experience how stressful divorce can be and want to make sure you know that your ex may use anything he can against you. They tend to grasp at straws so to speak to make you look bad.

I'm one of her biggest supporters Mary. I know how bad and ugly divorce can be. Thanks for looking out!

I know that no one knows the reason & there's two sides to the story but I also wish you both the best always. Everything happens for a reason & maybe you guys are meant for each other.

I know that no one knows the reason & there's two sides to the story but I also wish you both the best always. Everything happens for a reason & maybe you guys are meant for each other.

Thank you mami

If I haven't said that already.

Thank you mami

If I haven't said that already.

Your welcome I love you guys

I know that no one knows the reason & there's two sides to the story but I also wish you both the best always. Everything happens for a reason & maybe you guys are meant for each other.

Thank you mami! I truly believe this was meant to be!

One of my favorite quotes... I think it's perfect for you Summer

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

― Marilyn Monroe

Woowww!

Please please please

NO MORE DRAMA!!!!!!!

I thought this forum was supposed to be like an online support group...

For a lot of people this is our "happy place"....let's leave Facebook things in Facebook. Its no one's business who is dating who or why.

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