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Being Faithful

Something that has been bugging me. I notice a lot of people who go through a major change either worry about their partner being faithful, or have a partner worrying about their faith. I think it shows a strong person who can have people hitting on them, and instead of causing real pain and heartbreak either in a marriage or partnership, remain faithful. It is not fair to go from being overweight and insecure holding your spouse and saying you love them, only to become thin and confident and instead of returning the comfort your spouse once gave you, you cheat. Even if we are changing, and think ourselves capable of having any man we want, we should look the ones we have in our lives even if their fears keep them from giving up the support we need at the moment. If my boyfriend woke up one morning and every girl on earth wanted him and he knew it, I might not be so fast to pat him on the back and say "I'm proud of you!" Sure its tempting to test the new look and flirt, but the grass is not always greener. I know I'm going off on a tangent, but sometimes there is a real reason a spouse gets worried about the other cheating. If we give the comfort they need to make them understand we are not going anywhere, then we are doing our part. That does not give them the right to abuse or degrade by any means. But it seems that we have a great challenge ahead of us. It has just been on my mind is all. Thanks for reading.

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  • Just a little of my thoughts on this if. It's worth anything. First off WTH! I mean really? Advice and opinions are a take it or leave it thing. That means mud slinging is not needed. I can't believe

  • Vamp I don't think she was being mean she was giving you some friendly advice. I'm sure Kevin is very supportive and you guys can relate do to having the same surgery. But if you ask any councelor t

  • Chaotica- very well said; I just wanted to let you know I've read quite a few of your posts and feel like you are spot on in a lot of what you say. You are such a blessing to our board.. A true voice

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Yeah it was the entire time and he lead a double life. In a way I feel cheated out of the life I could have been living. We will have been together for 10 years in September. I've been with him and only him since I was 18. I'm turning 28 in August. Our 6 yr wedding anniversary is on the 22nd of this month. That day is going to be hard I just know. I have babies with him that I stay home and take care of and I also don't work. It's just so hard I go through these cycles of wanting to leave him then getting scared too. The weird thing is that I also still love him. :(

I understand. When I was a teenager & in my 20's I would had never thought how I do now. I'm grown & there is so much help out there that I don't need to struggle to have a home & my kids safe. I feel independent & the sexier I get the more courage I get to one day leave but I'm trying real hard to keep the marriage together.

I feel the same way' date=' I was married for 6 years and he was cheating on me for the entire duration. He was even paying all her bills while I was working like a dog while pregnant. And he was very abusive. I dont have the heart to forgive him. He is a crappy father and a crap husband. She can have him for all I care.

I've been dating someone for the last one and a half years, it's a total turnaround from what i am used to. My bf makes me feel like a queen. And I love it

You are better than this, once a cheater, always a cheater.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk[/quote']

True only she will realize it. I can understand he cheated once or several times with one person but years since they been together. I would had been gone before the 2nd kid was born. I would had got a vibrator also. Imagine he would had gave her STD. He would has been one dead mother f&&&&&er if that was my hubby.

Yeah it was the entire time and he lead a double life. In a way I feel cheated out of the life I could have been living. We will have been together for 10 years in September. I've been with him and only him since I was 18. I'm turning 28 in August. Our 6 yr wedding anniversary is on the 22nd of this month. That day is going to be hard I just know. I have babies with him that I stay home and take care of and I also don't work. It's just so hard I go through these cycles of wanting to leave him then getting scared too. The weird thing is that I also still love him. <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' />

WOW! you look GORGEOUS. That bastard, he did cheat you out of the life you could have had with ME! I would never think of cheating on you looking that sexy. If you need an ear or anything I'm all yours.

I believe in once a cheater always a cheater' date='but also you can forgive a person,but if they cheated on you the entire course of the marriage/relationship. Was it or it is worth staying with some one like that? He has no respect & doesn't value you as a woman.[/quote']

That's not always true " once a cheater always a cheater" me and my husband have both cheated on eachother when we split up when we reconciled we had to build up trust an it wasn't easy but just because we decided to make our marriage work I personally don't feel less of a woman than any other woman it takes 2 to make a marriage an 2 to break a marriage it's not all his fault an not all mine an I guess when you both are doing it you both are assholes at the time. I'm glad and very happy today we made it through many storms and still love eachother very much

WOW! you look GORGEOUS. That bastard' date=' he did cheat you out of the life you could have had with ME! I would never think of cheating on you looking that sexy. If you need an ear or anything I'm all yours.[/quote']

Thanks Hubby :) I needed that. Thats my husband. I read him all my posts to let him know how I've been feeling. He asked me why I was posting on that topic. I said because I've been feeling confused and honestly I was kinda hoping that some guy on here would flirt with me to make me feel better. That's why I put that pic of me cause I think it's sexy. I told him that he should sign up and flirt with me on there and he did. Lol I know you all think I'm nuts for staying but it is true that he is a new person now. It will be a year since shit hit the fan in august. It's been hard but has got better and better. I just can't believe that we weren't meant for each other.

Thanks Hubby :) I needed that. Thats my husband. I read him all my posts to let him know how I've been feeling. He asked me why I was posting on that topic. I said because I've been feeling confused and honestly I was kinda hoping that some guy on here would flirt with me to make me feel better. That's why I put that pic of me cause I think it's sexy. I told him that he should sign up and flirt with me on there and he did. Lol I know you all think I'm nuts for staying but it is true that he is a new person now. It will be a year since shit hit the fan in august. It's been hard but has got better and better. I just can't believe that we weren't meant for each other.

You know something who cares if people think your nuts for staying with him only you and him know how you deeply feel about eachother at the end of the day, and people can give you good hearted advice but don't feel like you have to follow it cuz every situation is unique just keep ur head up and keep God first and prey

You know something who cares if people think your nuts for staying with him only you and him know how you deeply feel about eachother at the end of the day' date=' and people can give you good hearted advice but don't feel like you have to follow it cuz every situation is unique just keep ur head up and keep God first and prey[/quote']

Completely agree. We can't judge, only you know how you feel about each other. As long as you are happy, who dafuq cares! Right?

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

That's not always true " once a cheater always a cheater" me and my husband have both cheated on eachother when we split up when we reconciled we had to build up trust an it wasn't easy but just because we decided to make our marriage work I personally don't feel less of a woman than any other woman it takes 2 to make a marriage an 2 to break a marriage it's not all his fault an not all mine an I guess when you both are doing it you both are assholes at the time. I'm glad and very happy today we made it through many storms and still love eachother very much

Splitting up isn't cheating. You weren't together anymore.

Thanks Hubby :) I needed that. Thats my husband. I read him all my posts to let him know how I've been feeling. He asked me why I was posting on that topic. I said because I've been feeling confused and honestly I was kinda hoping that some guy on here would flirt with me to make me feel better. That's why I put that pic of me cause I think it's sexy. I told him that he should sign up and flirt with me on there and he did. Lol I know you all think I'm nuts for staying but it is true that he is a new person now. It will be a year since shit hit the fan in august. It's been hard but has got better and better. I just can't believe that we weren't meant for each other.

No problem he can flirt all he wants. That's tour man. Lolz

Splitting up isn't cheating. You weren't together anymore.

Well I guess , but as long as ur legally married in the eyes of the law it is ... But anyways he met her like 3 weeks before we went are separate ways

Vamp- first of all I want to congratulate you on having the courage enough to walk away. If he's pulling a gun on you and obviously being abusive- it is definitely a situation both you and your kids do not need to be involved in. Secondly, if you ever need to talk please feel free to contact me..I've not been in the situation myself before but have had several close friends that I've helped go through almost the exact situation! Good luck & stay strong your doing the right thing!!

Well I guess ' date=' but as long as ur legally married in the eyes of the law it is ... But anyways he met her like 3 weeks before we went are separate ways[/quote']

So if your legally separated but not yet divorced by court would you consider that cheating?

So if your legally separated but not yet divorced by court would you consider that cheating?

My hubby was legally married but separated for over 6 years before I got in the pix. The ex made her life had other kids by someone else. I made him divorce her & married me. I don't feel he was cheating on her with me. It was years since they were together so a marriage paper means nothing when ppl go there separate ways. If we are going to get GOD involve we are all sinners & flirting cheating Facebook even looking at a guy crossing the street Lolz yeah I'm guilty. Now having sex it's a totally different thing. As you lose weight you feel good about your self & feel you can fly but remember your married or have someone in your life.

So sorry to hear about the separation Vamp. I truly believe that life unfolds exactly the way it is supposed to. There is nothing you cannot be, do or have.

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