If you don't believe in the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you will be damned!!!

Through his noodly appendage, ALL things are possible!

I am here to SPREAD THE WORD of his noodly goodness!

EXCERPT from the Church Website:

We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

...

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

How do you not just smack them upside the head!?! Ok, not really but it's bad enough they feel that way, but to make sure you know, geez.

My father-in-law liked me (I was renting an apartment in his two family house from him) until I asked his daughter out for a date. The next day, he gave me an Ultimatum: "Marry my daughter or STOP TALKING TO HER".:faint:

My mother in law told my husband, right after meeting me, that "she talks too much".

After he told her we were getting married, she said she would disown him (for marrying a non-Jew).

Can anyone top that?

My father-in-law liked me (I was renting an apartment in his two family house from him) until I asked his daughter out for a date. The next day, he gave me an Ultimatum: "Marry my daughter or STOP TALKING TO HER".:faint:

LOL - men can be protective of their daughters, that's for sure.

Whe my husband told them we were getting married, I was there - I'd flown back to help him quit his job, pack up (he's frm Sweden, and we met there, so in order for him to come here a LOT of stuff had to get taken care of and I didn't want him having to do it alone) I got something like, "You'll never be good enough for our son, but whatever - I'm tired of thinking about it and being sad, so just - whatever..." *flails hands around like she's shooing flies away*

LOL - men can be protective of their daughters, that's for sure.

But he didn't quit even after our son was in high school.:faint:

Wheetsin: You poor dear. It is so sad that you do not have any of the joys of having an extended family - just the horrors.

When my dear, sweet mother died (too young) and I was absolutely devastated, in my grief the day of the funeral, I turned to my MIL and said through my sobs, something like, I guess you'll have to be my mother now. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes bugged out and she looked away. Believe me, she could never be my mother. And that was an obvious lesson in understanding that in-laws will always disappoint you if you expect them to treat you like their own child.

Sunta: I dated a Vet student in college. He was madly in love with me. He was from the deep, snobby south. He was from a wealthy family and he was an only child. When his mother found out that I did not belong to the Catholic Church, she wrote a scathing letter to him, which he let me read, telling him that it was me or their financial support. He chose me, of course. Except unbeknownst to me, he didn't TELL them he chose me. When I found out, I told him it was not a match made in heaven. I could just imagine living with that woman as a MIL! Not happenin'!

When I had to spend a few days at a gathering at the French in-laws everyone ignored me except for the kids and the the daughter's husband. I was so freaked out by the experience that I couldn't poop the whole time I was there. :embarassed: The kids all thought that I was cool and loved my accent and the brother-in-law was simply a very kind man.

The only thing the parents said to me during the entire period that I was there was to ask me what I was going to do when I returned to Canada. Of course, at the time our plans were to be together for the long haul and they knew that! The worst thing of all was that Philippe didn't stick up for me and so that experience really did signal the beginning of the end.:speechles

My own father was exceedingly nasty to my first husband (he disinherited me at the time I married him) and indeed to anyone I was sleeping with and this included quite a few guys with very respectable careers. He did like the Frenchman and he liked my current mate, a union guy who builds aircraft.:rose: