If you don't believe in the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you will be damned!!!

Through his noodly appendage, ALL things are possible!

I am here to SPREAD THE WORD of his noodly goodness!

EXCERPT from the Church Website:

We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

...

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

i love to top off my plate of spagetti with a nice big helping of FRUIT CAKE...

BTW...what does Johnny Depp think about this whole thing?!

Hee, hee, hee, Yeah, I want my cheesy-poofs! Shut-up and go make me a pie.

I renounce Duh and would love to Join FSM if you'll have me.

Can I be a Pirate?

Cheers

TommyO

TommyO,

Only if you've actually seen the face of Tony Soprano in your moring oatmeal.

Please excuse the typo, "my bad," I'll try and proofread next time.

Serious, I'm glad you're serious. We don't allow no typos here. This is a thread to end all threads. No typos, no bad language, no gramatical errors. Nut balls beware!! Only pirates with the utmost intelligence and black teeth are allowed. You want PROOF, we'll get your stinking proof! :speechles

Serious, I'm glad you're serious. We don't allow no typos here. This is a thread to end all threads. No typos, no bad language, no gramatical errors. Nut balls beware!! Only pirates with the utmost intelligence and black teeth are allowed. You want PROOF, we'll get your stinking proof! :speechles

BJ.....uhhummm....didn't you mean 'grammatical'??? lmao! :heh:

Bjean,

I admit it. I sinned. I should be lashed with a wet noodle, or at the very least, be made to PB on a bowl of spaghetti !

Bjean,

I admit it. I sinned. I should be lashed with a wet noodle, or at the very least, be made to PB on a bowl of spaghetti !

Somebody stole the "Flying Spaghetti Monster" from "South Park".:faint:

The FSM originated as a satirical website response to a debate as to whether Creationism/Intelligent Design should be taught in a local public school system. The dude who started the site said that he wanted his theory, that of the FSM, taught in addition to Creationism should this be allowed in the state school system.

The site and the Noodly Dude Himself were achieving some underground degree of reknown even before those fabulous South Park boys ran with the FSM.

(By the way, Green loves South Park. She continues to be a fan. She has also converted two Frenchies to the joys of South Park.)

And lo! His noodly juice is marinara sauce and His meat is hot Italian sausage and meat balls. And the words al dente shall be spoken by all of ye who dine here.

Green has been a practising Pastafarian for many, many years now. It is this that has made her fat!

Guess I'm out!

And lo! His noodly juice is marinara sauce and His meat is hot Italian sausage and meat balls. And the words al dente shall be spoken by all of ye who dine here.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!

How the farkin frip did I miss this thread?

I have proof...

The Flying: This part of the Flying Spaghetti Monster gives it flight, allowing it to span infinite distances in infinitesimal spans of time. This part is irreducibly complex, hyper-real (see Weird Calculus), and cannot be broken down into components. Doing so – if it were even possible, and it isn't – would incur the wrath of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is proven by this series of math-like squiggles.

(The original formula revealed to Pastafarian scholars did not include the butter and toast element, which is necessary to relate kittens to antigravity. The Flying Spaghetti Monster inspired this revision one day He skipped Breakfast.)

Wheetsin,

You are truly one of the anointed.....with olive oil even!

WHEETSIN: I SEE THE LIGHT! I SEE THE LIGHT!

THANK YOU WHEETSIN, O ANNOINTED TRUTHSAYER!

NOW THAT YOU HAVE SHOWN ME PROOF, I AM A CONVERT!

What are the duties of a Pastafarian, anyway?