If you don't believe in the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, you will be damned!!!

Through his noodly appendage, ALL things are possible!

I am here to SPREAD THE WORD of his noodly goodness!

EXCERPT from the Church Website:

We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.

...

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

What are the duties of a Pastafarian, anyway?

One of the most important duties of a Pastafarian is to get our message into public schools. We believe that the fact that the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe should be taught along with evolution.

ANTI-PASTAFARIANISM IN ATLANTA!!

"Someone" recently passed this article on to me...

FRIGHTENING NEWS FROM ATLANTA - once again, the real news in Atlanta is not being reported as it should...Almost everyone eats Pasta...we even got voted as one of America's fattest cities. Now, a famous restaurant is threatening to take all pasta dishes off it's menu! Will the world say nothing?..... By the way, my New CD is available from Amazon.com, featuring recycled, rehashed music from Serious and the Lapbanders. If you don't think it's the greatest CD ever, then you are truly a fool, and will have to answer to his infinite, THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!

I'll crank up my mimeograph machine. I sure hope you are all not too young to have had purple hands once.

How the farkin frip did I miss this thread?

I have proof...

The Flying: This part of the Flying Spaghetti Monster gives it flight, allowing it to span infinite distances in infinitesimal spans of time. This part is irreducibly complex, hyper-real (see Weird Calculus), and cannot be broken down into components. Doing so – if it were even possible, and it isn't – would incur the wrath of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It is proven by this series of math-like squiggles.

(The original formula revealed to Pastafarian scholars did not include the butter and toast element, which is necessary to relate kittens to antigravity. The Flying Spaghetti Monster inspired this revision one day He skipped Breakfast.)

Dude, you know what that soul of kittens stuff is all about, eh? There is a scary email making its rounds and it sez that everytime someone masturbates God kills a kitten.

I know, I know........ I have a couple of cats of my own.:heh:

Oh. I thought it had to do with eating kittens for breakfast.

Thank the Flying Spagetti Monster that we have Green here to keep us all on the straight and narrow.

(I'm a dog person. Cat dander *ah-choo* doncha know)

Let us all go to the "Olive Garden" and Pray.

Ame... err... Ramen!

That other thread doesn't make nearly as much sense as this one!

My grandfather, an Italian American, born in Italy who came here as a WOP (Italian for Illegal Alien), who fought in WW1 in order to become a citizen was a True Believer.

I knew him for the 25 years that I lived prior to his death, and except for breakfast I never saw him eat a meal that did not have 'Pasta' as part of it. In fact many of his meals consisted of nothing but Pasta.

Of course, he would have been on Ron's side in the other thread, because he never even drank a glass of Water without a one to two minute prayer to bless the bounty that he was about to receive.

He must have had a split personality.

I adore Italian cuisine and have always regretted that none of my mothers-in-common-law were Italian. My current one is German. I am not a big fan of Middle and Eastern European cuisine. Too heavy.

I married a British women.

We eat out a lot.:help:

I adore Italian cuisine and have always regretted that none of my mothers-in-common-law were Italian. My current one is German. I am not a big fan of Middle and Eastern European cuisine. Too heavy.

My MIL is Norwegian. Lutefisk anyone... :faint:

My MIL is Norwegian. Lutefisk anyone... :faint:

My ILs are Swedish. Don't even get me started on some of the nasty stuff I've been subjected to (even things worse than the ILs themselves!)

My MIL doesn't cook. All of her children are thin. My DM cooked up a storm and meals were the centerpiece of our family life. Which included dessert, of course. My MIL doesn't believe in Desserts.

I am the token fat lady in the ILs family. Not that they wanted one, mind you.

My ILs are Swedish. Don't even get me started on some of the nasty stuff I've been subjected to (even things worse than the ILs themselves!)

LOL-Ok you may win.