My best friend told me last night she did not know why I waned the surgery. If I apply my self I can get the same results. I was really upset I did not get her support. She is very over weight and she knows the health problems that this surgery could help. I feel that I can't talk to her about this and she and this are a huge part of my life how do I not talk to her about it?

Lol probably. We do always make fat reference about each other tigether. Oh well!

My best friend told me last night she did not know why I waned the surgery. If I apply my self I can get the same results. I was really upset I did not get her support. She is very over weight and she knows the health problems that this surgery could help. I feel that I can't talk to her about this and she and this are a huge part of my life how do I not talk to her about it?

I think that if I were in this situation I would do my best to make it clear to my friend that I understand and respect her opinion and her reaction is quite common. When all is said and done, your difference of opinion isn't important - a lifelong friendship is. So as they say, "agree to disagree" and move on. You have tons of support from other friends and family and although your best friend's reaction is disappointing, a little patience and understanding on both sides should ensure the friendship will continue for many years to come!

I personally have been through it with my so called best friend! We have known each other since we were 15 and we are now 27! We went through everything together including the whole process of getting surgery I had my surgery in January and then she had her surgery in April and we've been there for each other and supported each other until most recently....I figured it was just because she was having PMS but the things she did and said to me and about me were just wrong! Everyone has told me she did what she did because she was jealous but I feel she has nothing to be jealous over but then I got to thinking and ALOT of people would be jealous over what I've got...I'm the youngest in my family so my mom gives me most everything I want...STILL! My husband gives me as much as he can even though he is the only one working! He doesn't make as much money as my friends husband but he is still able to buy me things and spoil me and my friend doesn't have that! Her mom died when she was just 2 and she doesnt have someone to give her money or spoil her the way that I am spoiled! But I've been there for her like no one else has been and she still decided to treat me like crap! She made the comment that I wear my pants too tight and because of that my fat flab hangs over my pants and she said its gross and also texted me when I posted a before and after pic on fb and said she couldn't believe I posted a pic with my nasty arm flab on fb for everyone to see!! Then she tried to say I went on her fb and adds her fb friends even though I don't know them although I do because I went to school with them when I was younger! She also claimed that I switched gyms because she did, although she asked me to switch gyms so we could work out together and also claims I stole her tattoo idea and got the tattoo even though she was pissed because I was getting the same thing as her when we both chose to get matching tatts because we were best friends! She has since deleted and blocked me from facebook and changed her phone number! So certainly having weight loss surgery, loosing weight, or any change in your life can make best friends become enemies or make people that weren't your friend to begin with can become your friends....and sometimes people just dont have a filter between their brain and mouth and say things they don't think about first! I feel bad for anyone who has had to deal with the crap I've dealt with recently.....and I still hope in some way that my friend will realize that she is wrong in what she did and apologize to me for what she did! But some people never change and some will never grow up!

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I personally have been through it with my so called best friend! We have known each other since we were 15 and we are now 27! We went through everything together including the whole process of getting surgery I had my surgery in January and then she had her surgery in April and we've been there for each other and supported each other until most recently....I figured it was just because she was having PMS but the things she did and said to me and about me were just wrong! Everyone has told me she did what she did because she was jealous but I feel she has nothing to be jealous over but then I got to thinking and ALOT of people would be jealous over what I've got...I'm the youngest in my family so my mom gives me most everything I want...STILL! My husband gives me as much as he can even though he is the only one working! He doesn't make as much money as my friends husband but he is still able to buy me things and spoil me and my friend doesn't have that! Her mom died when she was just 2 and she doesnt have someone to give her money or spoil her the way that I am spoiled! But I've been there for her like no one else has been and she still decided to treat me like crap! She made the comment that I wear my pants too tight and because of that my fat flab hangs over my pants and she said its gross and also texted me when I posted a before and after pic on fb and said she couldn't believe I posted a pic with my nasty arm flab on fb for everyone to see!! Then she tried to say I went on her fb and adds her fb friends even though I don't know them although I do because I went to school with them when I was younger! She also claimed that I switched gyms because she did' date=' although she asked me to switch gyms so we could work out together and also claims I stole her tattoo idea and got the tattoo even though she was pissed because I was getting the same thing as her when we both chose to get matching tatts because we were best friends! She has since deleted and blocked me from facebook and changed her phone number! So certainly having weight loss surgery, loosing weight, or any change in your life can make best friends become enemies or make people that weren't your friend to begin with can become your friends....and sometimes people just dont have a filter between their brain and mouth and say things they don't think about first! I feel bad for anyone who has had to deal with the crap I've dealt with recently.....and I still hope in some way that my friend will realize that she is wrong in what she did and apologize to me for what she did! But some people never change and some will never grow up!

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Wow. I wonder why she would do that. I could totally understand is she didn't have the surgery with you. I'm sorry that you may have to go through this. It makes me KINDA thankful that i actually dont really have friends. Sad i know. But ive always decided to stay true to myself, by ditching the people that use me.

I think the reason is based on pure jealousy even though she swears she isn't jealous of course that's what she's goin to say! I'm really spoiled by both my mom and my hubby and she doesnt get spoiled like I do and so I think that is what brought it all on!!!

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Went through the same thing Nita. I go to a therapist weekly to help me with the emotional side of all of this so I don't repeat the same behaviors and eventually regain. She told me to compare it to being an alcoholic with your best friend and all of the sudden you decide to quit drinking. It's natural for her to go on the defensive. My friend and I share "fat" stories' date=' embarrassing "fat" emergency Snacks that we make up and all other sorts of info. So now she is scared that because I have had this surgery the dynamic of our relationship will change. And it probably will. I am still not getting the support that I would like from this person. It used to break my heart. But now that I understand her emotions and why she feels the way that she does, it doesn't hurt me as much anymore. And I am just proving to her by still going to the movies and out to eat...that we can still do the same things we did before. And she's actually slowly coming around. She is taking better care of herself. Eating better...going to the gym. So I hope that once she sees my success she will be inclined to follow in my footsteps. Cause let's face it...we can try to convince ourselves all day long that we are happy...but no one is happy at 250+ pounds![/quote']

Thanks for sharing, u r so right about not being happy being over weight.

I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that maybe your friend is scared that you will lose weight and make new friends, have a new life etc and she is afraid she will lose you. We can get into routines with our friends that involve food and if she loses that with you, then what? I would just talk to her if she is important to you and ask her why she does not support you. You might find out she is just afraid of losing your friendship.

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I tried to talk things out with her she refused to talk to me! Even told me excuses as to why she was mad at me! Now she's said things about me I will never forget! She's deleted and blocked me from Facebook and changed her phone number so there's no way to contact her now!

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She also keeps drinking alcoholic drinks after she knows she isn't supposed to....she had her 1st drink just 3 weeks after surgery because her hubby's aunts who all have had wls told her it was ok but they all have had complications!

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Unfortunately this brings out the haters not just friends but spouses and other family too. I myself have only lost a few friends but they weren't worth keeping any way. You need positive people around you that will be there for those ups and downs. I wish you all the luck in the world!

She will get over it!

I was thinking that.

She will get over it!

I was thinking that.