I'm dealing with a great deal of shame about my decision to have surgery and I'm struggling with how much to share with people both before surgery and after. What are your experiences?

Aw! Don't be ashamed! I was at first too but now I know I'm doing what's best for my health. I'm telling close friends and family.

I felt and still it was a personal decision. The only people I told are my parents. It wasn't necessarily shame. Just that I don't want to hear negative comments and it really is no one's business. I am pretty private generally. It may have shocked people if I told them.

I was initially very ashamed and had no plans to tell anyone, not even my own brighter. I came to realize as my surgery date continues to get closer that it doesn't matter what other people think. I am doing this for myself, to create a better version of me, and people are either with me or they're not. If they're not then I don't really need to have them in my life. I was extremely ashamed to tell my training coach at the gym. I am a BIG gym rat, I got 4x a week and intern/work there. I eat clean but the weight hasn't come off for me for what ever reason. I was very surprised at how supportive he and all my clients have been with the news of me having this surgery. They are all very happy for me, and feel this is the right step because they see how hard I work.

You are doing this for yourself and that's all that matters. You have to be ready to make the personal decision of whether or not to tell people. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, and you always have the community on here to reach out to

I don't go around telling people that I had surgery. If they ask about the weight loss, I tell them the truth, I am eating less and exercising more. And my co-workers can see that I'm eating less, eating healthier and walking a lot at lunch.

If someone directly asks if I've had WLS I tell them that I did. I just don't make a big deal about it.

Just remember if you tell someone at anytime, but you can't untell them.

there are a lot of discussions on this......if you want to search for it on the forums (maybe use the word "tell" in the search box).....I'm not ashamed, but I haven't told most people......friends, co workers, family.........they don't know........It's my body, my business if I tell anyone.....and I didn't want to put up with everyone's opinion.....

I'm dealing with a great deal of shame about my decision to have surgery and I'm struggling with how much to share with people both before surgery and after. What are your experiences?

I am not ashamed at all. Like I tell my family I am about saving my life and taking back my life. Anyone who is not on my team to help me win can kick rocks. Lol.

I've made changes for the better to prove to myself that it can do this and win. The changes I made are for the better. Those small changes have made me feel better.

I too was not ashamed but chose to only share with very close people because I didn't want to hear... All you have to do is.... You don't need to do that... I heard bad stories... I just didn't want to hear that when I tried diets and exercise and pills.... Ya know?

I too was not ashamed but chose to only share with very close people because I didn't want to hear... All you have to do is.... You don't need to do that... I heard bad stories... I just didn't want to hear that when I tried diets and exercise and pills.... Ya know?

That's exactly how I feel. I'm very proud of my decision but will pick and choose who I tell and when.

I tell everyone!! I could care less! I'm proud of how hard I worked for this! It's so not easy! Everyone admires me for my choice to do this for my health!

I'm dealing with a great deal of shame about my decision to have surgery and I'm struggling with how much to share with people both before surgery and after. What are your experiences?

I am not sure I understand what you are ashamed about. I was ashamed of being obese, of the possibility of costing the health system a lot of money in the future. I was ashamed of never looking good, of not being able to play on the floor with my grandchildren. I was ashamed of having my fat poke into people when sitting on a plane. I was ashamed of being a Weight Watchers failure. I am proud that I decided to do something about all of this shame and have the surgery. I am proud that I am doing my best to follow all of my surgeon's and nutritionists instructions. I am proud of my weight loss to date. Just very quietly I am proud if my Sleeve.

I hope this helps you turn your shame into pride.

I was ashamed that I let my weight get out of control and got so many medical problems. I knew my family history and I was not able to control my eating. I do not think I would of felt shame if it were not for my health. My last child was born in 1998 and in 2000 I was diagnosis with type II diabetes. He only knows a mother with health problems and he is a bit overweight,also, so I am ashamed of that also. My oldest is more active and is of normal weight.