So I graciously smile and nod through most of the goofy compliments because I know people mean well. The "you are wasting away to nothing" (I'm not), the "I need to go on whatever diet you are on" (no, you don't, you weigh like 80 pounds MAX), the "you were pretty before but you look SO MUCH BETTER now" (I do), etc.

I chuckle on the inside when people ask me how much I've lost and how much I weigh now because I know they want to do the math and see what a manatee I was. I know that if they are ignorant enough to ask that, they are incapable of doing the math without pencil and paper.

I smile along when they ask me if my husband likes the new me, cuz GOD KNOWS how he could have ever liked me before.

I can even take it when I pass on a goodie while out in public and someone says, "OH YEAHHHHHH!!!! You are dieting!!!!!!", and look knowingly at whomever we are with.

But the one thing that happens almost every freaking day that grates my last nerve is the salad bar at my local grocery. Yes, I do realize this is petty and that it's really nothing to be upset about. I'm NOT upset, it just irritates the FOOK out of me for some reason I can't name other than the fact that I am a grown adult.

I work out of my car most days. Our local grocery chain has a great salad bar with fresh fruit, veggies, Soups, meats, prepared mayo-based salads, etc. I can go in and get a few pieces of fruit, a tablespoon of my favorite seafood salad with a little extra crab leg mixed in, a bit of teriyaki beef with a stir fried onion, maybe some light tuna salad or a hardboiled egg, whatever I am in the mood for and just the right amount for less than $2. It's a bargain and I rarely ever need to throw anything away. It's great! The only drawback is the cashier, and it's a different cashier EVERY.FREAKING.TIME because I go to different stores and through different lines almost every time.

The comments on my pathetic little plate make me want to jam a pencil through my eye!!

"Oh DEAR!! That's not enough!!!" (Uhmm...thanks for letting me know!! I'll run right back and get more!)

"Goodness! Are you trying to starve yourself?" (No, if I was trying to starve myself, I wouldn't be eating at all.)

"Honey, I am sure your husband wants you to eat more than that!!" (My husband doesn't feed me nor does he tell me what to eat.)

"Is that all you are having? That's not enough to feed a baby!!!" (Thankfully, I am not a baby.)

"You do know it's OK to eat in public, don't you dear?" (Have you seen the size of my ass? Yes, I know.)

"Now you know that you are just going to go home and eat if that's all you are having for lunch, right?" (Well, yes, I do plan on eating again some time today.)

I could go on and on.

I know they mean well/are just trying to make conversation/insert whatever excuse you want to make for them here, but it drives me up a wall. I try and hold back my smart ass rebuttal, but I am so afraid that dam is going to break one day on some poor unsuspecting cashier. Sigh... Lord help me.

This is so funny and I love reading it.

It would be really funny if it wasn't happening to you. I love reading your stuff. You are very witty. And there is no shortage of stupid people in this world.

Ikr, that is my pet peeve, I cannot stand when people are unknowingly offensive, maybe they do know idk, either way its annoying, and like you I just smile and keep it pushing.

This was great! People are funny. My husband died 4 years ago and until now, no one has really said much about me dating. I don't want to, I won't say never, but right now things are fine. BUT now, I am inundated with friends saying, "so I bet you are ready to date now that you are looking hot". A I am not looking hot, and B I could have dated anytime in the last 4 years if that's what I wanted. It's funny to look beneath what they are saying and get to what they are really thinking....but it's all good and just makes me laugh.

This is a marvelous ride we are on!

Any

Oh my goodness!!! Everyone that reads this will surely have a smile on their face! I know I do! You really should write a book. The way you word things is awesome and the things you say are oh, so, true! I haven't had my surgery yet but, when I do and lose weight and if someone says something to me, I will definitely remember reading this and probably start laughing to myself(hopefully not out loud). Just be proud of yourself and let the good times roll...

Turn the tables on them and teach 'em a lesson about unsolicited comments. Tell 'em your dying of cancer and this is all you can eat.

Or point to them and say....."I eat like this, so I won't look like that" (hey, they asked for it)

I work with the public on a daily basis, avid you come to realize people are a lot dumber than you think. Like, they lack common sense! You never realize how people can do and say what they do! It teaches me what NOT to do and say in public (and I've got similar comments/opinions like that regarding choices too.

So funny. That's one of the few sucky things about having this surgery- I always feel the need to explain why I am only eating 1/2 chicken breast, a tiny bit of lettuce, & 1/2 tbsp. of dressing, and I really don't want to go there with relative strangers. I don't know why people have the need to comment in the first place. I would never do that.

It just goes to show you that Americans are losing sight of what good portions are. Yes ours are less than normal, but not THAT much less that what it should be.

Oh I LOVE it.

If it was me? Every time I went to the counter and something crass was said, I'd smile and say:

'Yes, it is a small portion. However, I am only here to take samples. Apparently there have been outbreaks of Helicobacter Pylori - suspected source - your salad. Campylobacter in your meat products and Salmonella enterica in your shellfish products. As a consequence, I am only here to repatriate a small amount to our labs for further testing and to determine whether your establishment needs to be shut down by the food Standards Agency.

As a consequence, you're right, it is a small amount and there's no way on Gods green earth you'd catch me eating it!

Have a nice day!'

Go get 'em, tiger! x

Check out people who make ANY comment on ANYthing I buy are a huge annoyance to me. I just find it so UNcalled for. I understand they want to make small talk or be personal and voila what I'm buying is a perfect conversation starter. But come ON. I didn't bring my stuff to your register for you to review and make commentary on.Please talk about the weather or something.

My husband and I have joked about what weird combinations of items could we come up with to take to the register and see what the cashier has to say about it. Shower cap, bleach, and tongs? Cucumber, vaseline, and lysol? Condoms, cat litter, and hair dye? LOL I'm sure we could really mess with their heads!

It's how you present yourself. I have a default insane look that eliminates any conversation before it starts. :ph34r:

I took pms pills a package of double stuff oreo and a box of 22 bullets the cashier looked at me and I said one way or the other it will be over tonite. That got a real look they did not ask any more questions. You just need a good look of shock and start crying and that ends it also.

You guys crack me up.

It just goes to show you that Americans are losing sight of what good portions are. Yes ours are less than normal, but not THAT much less that what it should be.

Oh, mine is FAR less than normal. I might have 3-4 tablespoons max. I am aware of the fact that it looks pathetic, but it doesn't need to be pointed out to me because, well....I MADE IT!!