long journey alone

[msreaina 133]

I been excited about my surgery ever since I decided to do but its been hard because the support I once had is gone. My husband tells me everday I need to eat more and that I malnourished. That my nutritionist and surgeon are trying to kill me and I will die if I dont eat more. But we all know with thos surgery you cant eat more that was the point of having the surgery. I started at 299lbs I down to 198 lbs. my surgery was in January my husband says I don't need to be at the gym because I don't eat enough to workout. He constantly hollers and fuss saying I need to eat more eat moreand you need to go back to your old eating habits. I cant deal with the negativity from him this journey is hard enough.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

This is your journey...no ones elses...When I came home my husband was watching everything I put in my mouth and always showed up with fruit or Protein or Protein drinks for me to eat.....

Eventually I said are you not amazed at how little I need to eat to stay alive.....what does that say about the rest of the population...He pondered it for a while and said I was right....

If he is worried about you you need to ease his mind..If he is trying to sabotage you....not good...Tell him how you are feeling...esp. if you have more energy and feel better with the weight off...

My husband has started to trust that I do know something and has stopped bring me food all the time.....We crossed that hurdle....yeah!!!

[SkinnyScrapper 57]

I been excited about my surgery ever since I decided to do but its been hard because the support I once had is gone. My husband tells me everday I need to eat more and that I malnourished. That my nutritionist and surgeon are trying to kill me and I will die if I dont eat more. But we all know with thos surgery you cant eat more that was the point of having the surgery. I started at 299lbs I down to 198 lbs. my surgery was in January my husband says I don't need to be at the gym because I don't eat enough to workout. He constantly hollers and fuss saying I need to eat more eat moreand you need to go back to your old eating habits. I cant deal with the negativity from him this journey is hard enough.

I am sorry he does not understand. Is it possible to take him with you to a dr. or nutritionist appt. My husband was against the surgery until our family doctor spoke to him about how I needed it.

Change is hard for others. Keep up your good work and once you are at goal, hopefully it will be easier.

[littlebitsy 72]

Can you make an appointment with your NUT and drag him with you? I don't think my husband actually got it until the pre-op class we attended together on Wednesday. Although what he is doing is wrong I don't think most people understand our new lifestyle. I think my Mom is going to be my biggest hurdle.

[stamour1 22]

i dont think people know what we go threw i doing this by myself and i get scared that im gonna fail...

[Black Diamond 45]

Huny first let me say CONGRATULATIONS ON YR WAIT LOSE..DAMN THAT IS FANTASTIC. .now bk to yr husband. .point blank he is trying to sabotage yr success. ..he is scared because u hv made this big change to you...yr probably not depending on him for much..you hv displayed discipline. .yr getting more looks, feeling good..not hurting...looking btr and btr and u hv changed. .ur no longer his food buddy..and he ain't liking that..DONT LET HIM BRING YOU DOWN SWEETHEART...THIS iS ABOUT YOU AND YOU ALONE...HE CAN ROLL WITH YOU OR HE CAN BOUNCE...THATS JUST HOW I WOOD FILL...BECAUSE THATS SELFISH ON HIS PART...

[unbesleevable1 420]

This is common in couples, when one person is getting healthy. Most likely the partner is unhealthy. Let me guess, he is overweight himself and has some unhealthy habits? He is seeing you get healthy and he sees that as losing his unhealthy partner in crime. Consciously or not, he is sabotaging you. Be careful! I have more experience in addiction recovery than WLS, but this is common in recovery. Lots of relationships end as a result of one partner getting healthy, if the other one does not. Keep connected with your support groups!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

support I once had is gone - husband says i need to go back to your old eating habits.

msreaina

98 lbs down

I'm holding the door wide open as you enter the century club

don't have to hold door too wide - cuz you now can just "slide" in LOL

you just entered onederland too

more good news!!!!

sorry you aren't getting the encouragement/support you should have

my hubby was heavy when i met him - he never chose to lose weight :ph34r: but he's always been so supportive, and enjoys the new me, and some of the benefits that go along with smaller people

is "DH??" overweight??

eating, going out to eat - large part of your lives that DH? enjoyed??

i've heard that there are men out there that specifically look for chubbier women???

(sounds terrible, hope i saidi that ok??)

you are continuing your weight loss - doing so well!!!!

don't let him interfere - sabatoge you

OMG - don't listen to his unkind hurtful comments

i never give advise about problems in relationships during and after WLS

but ...... it sounds like his comments aren't gonna change/go away

"maybe" you should think about whats important for YOU - and you must make a change in your life

you deserve only the best - don't accept anything less!!!!

great weight loss

good luck with any/all choices/decisions

kathy

congrats

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

i dont think people know what we go threw i doing this by myself and i get scared that im gonna fail...

You are not going to fail as long as you don't graze all day and don't go back to your old eating habits....I refuse to believe that since I have gone through all of this that I am going to allow myself to fail...Fail.....Sorry, just not going to think about it...one day at a time girl...one day at a time....You have gone through a lot to get where you are now...

[Black Diamond 45]

Needless to say jus made me angry. ..he does hv a idea how hard this has ben bcause I know u said to him damn I'm hungry but imma skip this or that..or he has seen u pass on yr fav treat sometimes. .mentally this is hard as hell so..ugghh...to hell with that keep talkin on the site u r not alone

[msreaina 133]

I am sorry he does not understand. Is it possible to take him with you to a dr. or nutritionist appt. My husband was against the surgery until our family doctor spoke to him about how I needed it.

Change is hard for others. Keep up your good work and once you are at goal, hopefully it will be easier.

He has gone and been there and he just does not understand the process and he been so negative lately making me feel horrible because I do not eat certain things anymore. He says he rather see me over eat because I am malnourished and by body eating itself. It is hard.

[msreaina 133]

Thanks for your encouragement everyone I truly need. Its hard when you feel like you are in this thing alone and the person who once had your back turns on you when you need their encouragement most. I glad I can come here and get support from you guys. I recently moved to Texas with because his job transferred him here but I thinking I should move back to Louisiana where my family is for that up close support I desperately need.

[Black Diamond 45]

Ms no one has the right to mk u feel bad.. no one has the right to mk u feel guilty for doing good...I no u hv some thing to do with this to..its always to sides..to a story but after u mk the attempt to address his negative behavior n let him no how yr feeling about everything and he ain't changing. .for the better..I bet yr family wood say..leave u don't hv to b some place..feeling alone..n u said it yrself..he toll u I wood rather see u over eat than malnourished. ..seriously. .u is not starving like a Ethiopian. ..

[msreaina 133]

i dont think people know what we go threw i doing this by myself and i get scared that im gonna fail...

I dont think you will fail. None of us are failures. By making to choice to live a healthier life we are stronger.