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Brandy...You are a GREAT Mom!!! Unfortunately BiPolar is not something you can control externally...no matter how hard you try, your daughter will have those feelings. But you are doing the right thing by getting her professional help and just being there for her. Don't be so hard on yourself! (easier said than done...I KNOW!!! cause I'm about to beat up on myself in a minute LOL).

As for the steroids.....just know that as soon as you're done with them, your eating will be back under control. Hang in there!!

As for everything happening for a reason...WELL.....I AM going to go to CA w/the guy after all! He called me last night and told me he really wants me to go with him but ONLY AS A FRIEND. Now that part is going to be hard for me, but I am going to have to learn to accept it b/c he's dating this other chick (who is not thrilled that I'm going, but not my problem!). But its so down to the wire (my flight is at 7am tomorrow!) that I just said F' it...I'm heartbroken either way...this may be the last chance I get to spend time w/him before he disappears into Girlfriend-land....and it's CA wine country, which I've never been to! I've got the ticket, and really, how much worse can I feel than I already do!? I know that when I get back on Sunday, that's it...I'm walking away. He says he still wants me in his life, etc...but I'm sure he'll be way too busy w/the new GF to bother w/me. SO yes...I know this is probably a STUPID and UNHEALTHYthing for me to do, but I'm doing it anyways...I've got counseling next Thursday so I'll work on picking up the pieces then! If everything does happen for a reason, then there is some reason for this weekend too.

KAYDOt...glad to hear your scale JUMPED!! That is always a great feeling to see that happen..and yes, its definitely possible!! Way to go!!!

STEPH...just remember slow and steady wins the race!! You're doing good! I'm right there with ya girl!!

Ok ladies...wish me luck this weekend...hope that I don't lose my mind and that when I get home I can let him go once and for all and move on to something bigger and better, because DAMMIT...THATS WHAT I DESERVE!!! He's sooooo loosing out!!! MUHWAAA HA HA HA!!!!

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Va-have a great trip. I hope something wonderful happens for you out there. Either you really enjoy the beautiful area or you fall madly in love with some vineyard owner and he begs you to visit him again leaving the other guy dumbstruck and heartbroken...okay, so romance novel writing is not in my future. At any rate, have a nice, safe trip. As far as this being unhealthy??? well, you are a grown woman and can make whatever decision you want. We are here for you no matter what!

Steph-I think slow losing is great. It gives you a chance to really learn your body and for your head to have time to adjust to it all. It is the no-losing that I hate! You are doing great.

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Good morning - wow we had some storms yesterday!

Boo - I'm sorry about your daughter, I know you're a good mom, just keep loving her. Its heart breaking, when they hurt we hurt. My youngest is sweet and pretty and has always had a hard time in school - with her peers. She just has never really fit in, and so many days she came home sobbing, it tore my heart out. She's a senior now, and still hates the whole teenager crap, its hard to explain, she has friends but never has had a best friend so she's never had that comfortable feeling of belonging with a group. But when she's with adults she's fine. I just am so glad we are almost done with this. All that said to say I know how hard it can be to watch your baby crying and miserable.

I guess VA is in CA - thinking of you Kirsten, hope you have a great time in wine country.

I had WAY too many calories yesterday - like 1600 and I didn't even count the 3 drinks I had - so I guess with those I'm probably at 2500! I didn't feel like I was over eating but I got caught at work bc of the storm and ended up drinking and eating some chips... ugh! I'm blaming it on TOM - its so dark out so I don't know if I'll even get to walk this morning. My dogs are sitting by the door waiting for me and by the looks of it we aren't going to get out there for at least another 1/2 hour.

Bman, I assume you are having a great time.

Nat check in, we miss you.

Kaydoll - we're going to do this. I know I'm the most inconsistant loser, good one day bad the next, but somehow its going to happen and eventually I'm going to hit 150. You will too - you're doing the right thing just by getting back on here and chatting again. I know its hard to keep on track with we get caught up in our lives but you did it before and look at how well you lost! You'll get it off and proabably long before me.

Have a great weekend ladies!

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I had my second fill yesterday. I am so tight! I can get down a slimfast but that is about it. Will it loosen up some over time or am I too full? There is no way that I can get in all my Protein or Water this tight. I figure I'll wait it out through the weekend.

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Thanks guys, I am feeling a bit better. She is starting to come out of her funk. I just hate feeling helpless with her, it is the scary thing ever when you can not help them.

Kuebel--mine always loosens up a bit. For me it is almost a week and then I am able to eat regular again. Good luck with that! Just take foods slow again.

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Happy Friday,

Just wanted to pop in. I had my baby's b-day party tonight. It was successful and the rain stopped just as the guests were arriving (outdoor party) so I think I have an angel looking out for me! What a relief.

I served pizza, some salads, chips & dip, cake, ice cream, candy etc...I ate my caesar salad (even picked out the croutons) and a little bit of cheese that was stuck to the bottom of the pizza box (sad, but I love that orphaned pizza cheese). I am amazed that I stuck to my detox diet. Honestly, I would have liked some chips and cake but really don't feel like I missed out.

Thanks Steph for your encouragement. I am glad I have your support. I think I forgot how much I needed it. We do get busy, but I need t make the time, because it is when I wander away from LBT that things start to stall for me. Now I am just counting down until the kids go back to school so I can have my gym routine back!!! selfish, I know but I miss it!

BooBoo-I am glad you are feeling better. By the way, I love your lemonade saying. It made me giggle.

Kubel-I think you may find your band will loosen up within the week. What kind of diet are you on after the fill? My MD has me do 3 days liquids, 3 days mushies then back to regular food. It is a drag, but it helps to take things slowly to really gauge if the fill is right. Best wishes!

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I am on 3 days of liquids and then 3 days of mushies. I'll give it a week and see what happens. This may be what I am supposed to feel and I just wasn't restricted enough before. At least I should have this figured out before I head back into the classroom. My second graders may not understand me gagging all day.

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wow - I never have felt that kind of restriction! My dr says to finish the day with liquids and then right on to regular food - but I've never felt the restriction that makes fluids stick. I don't think my dr is very aggressive with the fills, I thought he was bc I was going in so often but now that I'm at my so called sweet spot and he wouldn't give me anymore - I guess not.

Boo I'm glad you're dd is feeling better. Tough being a mommy.

Kay its always nice to have a party go off without a hitch. And good for you, sticking to it. What do you do to detox? Just Proteins? I know what its like to want the kids to get back to school - not now of course, I'm past that stage. But I had an ADD son who just about drove me insane by August - we are very fortunate, for him, that we live in the country so he could run and play all day. He had bike ramps and forts and all kinds of stuff rigged up all the time, I don't know what we'd have done if we lived in town where he was restricted. The kid wasn't on ritalin during the summer, our choice, so for the first 2 weeks of summer he was coming off it and drove me nuts and then by august I was exhausted. :wacko: Now his wife has to put up with him. He's still building stuff (works as an ironworker building stuff just like a giant erector set) and he's the one who does mixed martial arts and now he's working on a demolation derby car for the fair. So nothing has changed except his wife doesn't send him to camp.

Ok so I rambled. Talk to you soon.

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Boo I'm glad you're dd is feeling better. Tough being a mommy.

Kay its always nice to have a party go off without a hitch. And good for you, sticking to it. What do you do to detox? Just Proteins? I know what its like to want the kids to get back to school - not now of course, I'm past that stage. But I had an ADD son who just about drove me insane by August - we are very fortunate, for him, that we live in the country so he could run and play all day. He had bike ramps and forts and all kinds of stuff rigged up all the time, I don't know what we'd have done if we lived in town where he was restricted. The kid wasn't on ritalin during the summer, our choice, so for the first 2 weeks of summer he was coming off it and drove me nuts and then by august I was exhausted. :wacko: Now his wife has to put up with him. He's still building stuff (works as an ironworker building stuff just like a giant erector set) and he's the one who does mixed martial arts and now he's working on a demolation derby car for the fair. So nothing has changed except his wife doesn't send him to camp.

Ok so I rambled. Talk to you soon.

lol...Steph. Brooke also had ADD, ADHD, OCD, and ODD. We also have her in Tae Kwon Do. She is fun in the start of the school year...blah...

We sent her to camp this year, but she came homw with knowledge of SEX, so I don't think we will send her again.... lol..

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Steph-I am giggling about your son. I wish there were a camp where us wives could send our hyper husbands! There is a novel idea. I truly believe my husband was undiagnosed ADHD as a child. I have a friend whose son is autistic and the summer at her home is brutal. I think she loses her patience by about July. It takes a lot of energy but in the end it is worth it.

As far as my detox..I am back to following the South Beach plan more or less. First two weeks is lean Protein, veggies (no carrots, potatoes or other high sugar veggies) and low fat dairy. I did this years ago before banding and had some great success of course until I fell of the wagon. As you transition into the next phase you can add back fruits and whole grains...ultimately just getting all the processed crap out of my system. I was doing this because I couldn't seem to stop the chips and candy on my own and I had to adopt a stricter lifestyle. I am 6 days in and about 7 pounds down..feeling better and less cravings. We'll see how long this sticks but I am giving the college try!

Boo-scary how much more advanced some kids are than others! My daughter at 11 has a general idea of sex but still doesn't know the whole deal. Scary stuff.

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guess what guys! I joined a soccer team! crazy huh? i had my first practice on wednesday and i'm still sore! I was the fattest and slowest but hopefully not for long.

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Sweethot - good for you!!! Now thats a great way to get in exercise, and fun doing it! I heard of dodge ball leagues and I think that would be so much fun too.

I live 20 miles from a gym and so of course I don't go but theres and old building about 1/2 a mile from me that they are supose to be turning into a sports thing. I hope they include a gym. I think its supose to be an indoor batting cage and just stuff like that but me and my neice have our fingers crossed for a gym. Meanwhile - I'm still walking. I'm to the point now I not only do it for me but the dogs can hardly wait for me to get out of bed so we can walk. I feel so guilty if I don't go.

Ok listen up... MY scale IS MOVING!!! I was so excited yesterday, I got on and off a dozen times! I had gotten down to 185 and then I hovered between 185 and 188 for 2 months, I finally got the scale to stay at 185 and yesterday ... it said 183!!! 2 lbs never looked so good!!! I can't remember the last time I was 183 and now the 170's seem closer then ever! Its been 10 years since I saw them. It was 183 again this morning, so I think it just might stay there. or start moving on down. It feels good to be in control again.

Boo, Kay - I know how scarey it is to find out your kids are picking up on the whole sex thing, I know they are young but I suggest you start talking to them now. Theres excellent books at the library to help you get it out there. I know its not easy but believe me when I say its a lot better coming from you then some kid who may have a warped idea about it all. The other thing is how to handle if someone trys something thats inappropiate. When I was about 13 I stayed at a friends house and her older brother, much older, in his 20's, came in and started fondling me. I was scared and shocked and didn't know what to do, then he left, I guess so no one would catch on, then he came back a 2nd time and when he reached under the covers I said leave me alone or I'll tell my dad. - That was it, he never bothered me again, of course I never spent the night there either but I taught my girls at a very young age that if anyone tries to touch you anywhere like that you tell them you'll tell your dad. I told them my story and they understood. Its called impowerment, best thing you can give a child. So get all that out of the way and along comes the teen/pre adult years when you have to decide if its time to get birth control. I didn't have much of a problem talking to them (although they were mortified) and getting the girls on something, but my son had a steady girlfriend and I knew they were having sex and I came right out and asked him and he said yeah and I said she needs on the pill, he said well her mom.. her sister...blah blah ... I said YOU take her to planned parenthood and get her on the pill! You are just as responsible as she is, and then my dh had a talk with him and said you better be wearing 2 rubbers!!! I felt so out of control with that situation. But then after her he started dating his current wife, who had a mother who talked to her daughters and took her in for the pill. I raised my kids with good morals but sex is sex and its gonna happen, ya gotta talk to them.

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I know 4 people who had bypass surg. But no one who had lap band.

Im sched. for the band in 2 wks. what kind of weight loss am i loking at?

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Steph--I would rather they were told there was no santa rather than about sex! lol... BUT I think I did a good job, I did not go into details, I said it is something grown ups do. I asked if they had questions, Faith asked why people are naked when they have sex. I told her it was just part it. It is just frustating to have that talk at 6 and 8.... ;)

I have almost a monthly conversation with them how no one should touch or try to look at their private parts. They are very schooled on that as I was raped very young. I want them to know it is ok to do whatever they need to in that situation. Makes me feel good that Brooke is a blue belt in Tae Kwon Do! She can kick butt!!

Sweet--YEAH! Good for you!!! WOO HOOO!!!! :)

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Hey Dolls! another manic monday! Theres that song again Kay!

rwel4 - well... I've lost around 48 lbs and Bman has lost 90, in the same 8 months. So I guess you can expect to lose somewhere in there. It really depends on how hard you work at it. Bman is a monster exerciser, I walk, Bman keeps her calories around 800 (right?), I keep mine around 1300. So its all up to you. Don't come into the bandland thinking that its a miracle, its only a tool and at times a very frustrating tool at that. I'm still dealing with my head wanting food that I know my band will say no to, or wanting food that isn't healthy. I wish you the best and we're all here if you want to talk.

Boo - I know it sucks talking to them at such a young age, and I really don't think you need to go into detail when they are that young but unfortunately even younger have been molested.

VA - tell all girl - how was wine country?

Bman are you still vacating as well?

Natster - xoxoxo - missing you.

BK- haven't heard from you, hows everything?

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