gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[Georgia 2,908]

Do you have a Fred Meyer or Krogers around? We have Freddies around here and they sell a yogurt called "CarbMaster" - it is low carb and very creamy. I try to use that as dessert and add a few berries too. I give all this advice - but I am struggling this week myself. I feel better today but just feel like I am not eating quite right yet. Hungry, not hungry, eat too much, eating till full which violates my sleevie rules...all that stuff. This morning I hit 156... yes under my official goal but damn, still 8 pounds up from where i was not long ago... not sure how THAT happened! What I remind myself is that most everybody struggles a little with weight maintenance so we just have to keep up the good fight! I noticed when I was on vacation that all the gringo women (retirees or partially retired mostly) were STICK THIN. I mean really skinny. I felt kinda chubby compared to them and wondered what the heck.... i started thinking about a certain crossroads at middle age many people hit. Spare tire or stay trim. The obese probably just don't live that long. Anyway, it was an interesting observation. I honestly like how I look just fine since a few curves are sexy and womanly in my eyes anyway. Conversely, in the small town my friends live in they estimate that 80% of the local people have type II diabetes. I was shocked to hear that, but they have a real problem with recent influences of colas and other horrible foods becoming central to people's diets and there were alot of overweight local people around. I got a high blood pressure reading at my doc last time. I asked them to retake it 5 minutes later and sure enough... it was normal. I sometimes think that they have you moving around and talking and stuff and who knows what causes variable readings. I used to have borderline BP and have a home monitor (don't use it anymore). One thing I learned is to never trust a single reading... too many reasons it can be off.

Yes, we have krogers and it's the ONLY kind of yogurt I buy because it's good, cheap and low carb!!'

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I'm sorry I've been MIA. Twice at Bill's house I typed out a big long post and hit a wrong key and poof it was gone. I never know what I did wrong when that happens. I am taking my own lap top over there from now on because that's what I am used to.

I'm trying to figure out a way to put something on our main 5:2 group page that says we are closed to new members. People should just start another one. I just feel our group can't be added into at this point. Unless several people quit posting completely and it was dead, I see no reason to add more people even though we have 5 pending who want to join.

Things are going great with Bill and me. Other than freaking out that I am going to gain weight, everything is just dandy. I can't seem to stay away from the goodies when he has then and that's exactly what got me in trouble last time, when I was in a different relationship.

Maintenance is way harder than losing and it just goes on and on and on!

Sheryl, have you heard from David?

I read that article on food adiction. Scary. Sometimes I am so out of control. There is no way any doctor around here would prescribe Phentermine. My band doctor would if I weren't staying at goal. Right now, I am still hanging in at 135 but I don't think I'll be able to keep it uless I find some motivation for the gym and keep it.

Edited March 21, 2014 by Oregondaisy

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I have a couple of the things in the addiction but not all and def not some of the scarier ones, like I mentioned if I fall down I sometimes use it as an excuse to jump over the ledge. So if i have 3 oreos, I use it as an excuse to then have a tbsp of cashew butter, which leads to a grilled cheese, which leads to chocolate cake or Cereal. and I could have been having an excellent perfect fast day with zero desires up until that one hiccup, and then I just fling myself off the cliff. After reading that article though I realize that when I reach for the grilled cheese or the oreo or any of it, that it is a cue for me to step back and take a look at what has happened, probe around and see what I am trying to hide from, what got me so scared I had to reach for the food to hide inside?

As for the other bit, about the scale, maybe I did not explain it well enough. I wasn't complaining about a 5 pound bounce, I was ticked off because I LITERALLY stepped on the scale, got one number, stepped on again and got another number. It is digital and the batteries are fresh but the floor isn't perfectly level and the scale is several years old so I don't know. considering how huge my breasts still are (seriously I'm still in a frickin DDD cup!!) I'm pretty sure the lower awesome number was not the real number but still - stupid jerk scale!! Toying with my emotions that way!! The only other scales here are those old doctors sliding scales and those are notoriously inaccurate.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Florinda, I think it is really great to self examine those "triggers" maybe that is the key to long term solving of our addictive natures... to understand it so we can manage it. I think for me alot of it is just knowing that my old way is to bury feelings and needs and food helped me cope with that. I wasn't/am not so much a binger but probably a comfort eater. I was once told that I used food as a mood stabilizer. That explained one reason why I could do awesome losing weight but just could not maintain ... when I felt the need to adjust the ballast food was the only way I knew how. And then, as we all know, once you start using comfort foods, then the physical addiction/carb sensitivity kicks in and you are just darn HUNGRY 24/7. So, I have two key things to manage 1. self awareness of my feelings/needs and finding ways to express and get those needs met (ie not food!) and 2. carbs (to control physical hunger).

I believe certain people came to me at certain times for a reason... and on the topic of honesty this is where Steven comes in. I have never ever ever in my life (outside maybe my deceased sister) felt like I could just be myself with someone 100% and still be acceptable. I was raised in a shame based way - my dad was horrible about that and I carried it with me - feeling shame for just being me. I don't blame anyone else - I just needed someone with an over the top personality to bring out deep honesty in me. That guy will tell you anything about himself, about his kids whatever... no shame. I can tell him anything about myself and I never feel shame. I had this a little bit with my EX in our early days, but Steven is 100% and often tells me stuff there is no reason to share with me - just his nature and due to the special nature of our friendship I guess it is a safe place for him too. anyway, I have been practicing this basic sense of openness, vulnerability without shame with lots of people and I can see it working. It needs to be situationally appropriate - don't get me wrong - but to have someone call me after a meeting to admire my humbleness and yet asking tough questions in a way that really brought out true issues... it is feedback that I am changing inside in a way that I like.

Denise - I am so glad to hear that things are working out well with Bill. Any improvements on the sleeping / CPAP issues?

As far as David - I have decided he is kinda self centered. About a week before I left, he cancelled a little date we had planned at the last minute because he was invited to BB King. I don't fault him for that.... but then it was like he forgot i was leaving as he took it for granted I would just be there when he was ready to go out. His back was hurting and stuff like that. Ok, no problem - i am gone for 9 days and never get an email or a text. I didn't hear from him when I got back and decided to not be passive aggressive so I left him a message that I was back because he likely forgot my schedule. A few days later, he texts me that he is busy and will call me Friday. So my read? I am so low on the priority list that he can't spend 2 minutes giving me a call. I guess this is why you date - I find him to be charming and handsome and he surely has money BUT, I think he is showing signs of being a self centered jerk and I don't need it so I am done. I admit my own motives in considering him as a possible guy to see in 2014 were the wrong ones - he has means and claims to have time to travel and vacation together and do stuff I want to do... I think I was too willing to overlook the basic character and consideration to get that benefit. So I am glad his general lack of empathy and interest in me as a person has come out so early - I don't want to even casually date someone who thinks so little of me. I was suspicious that at age 61 he has never been married, I think he is used to women being a bit at his beck and call - well I really don't know what to think but that ain't me.

Oh, and just ignore the 5:2 requests - they will forget.

So, this morning the scale rewarded me with a few more pounds gone... yeah! It sucks to be so Water bloated. I am down to 154 now... heading the right direction. I never complain about my weight or looks outside this group (I hate women that do that) so Steven didn't know that I feel like a stuffed sausage right now... last night he told me that I looked better than ever, and how amazing my body looks and all that stuff. At that moment, I really wanted to hear that and it just gets my perspective in order. I sometimes still get dismorphia I guess. I think one of the reason I feel so stuffed is that I have alot of numbness in my belling and it feels like swelling even when it isn't that bad - plus I have had actual swelling the last week or so.

I am going skiing this afternoon - so better get some work done. Looking forward to hearing from more of our little crew here!

[Georgia 2,908]

I have a couple of the things in the addiction but not all and def not some of the scarier ones, like I mentioned if I fall down I sometimes use it as an excuse to jump over the ledge. So if i have 3 oreos, I use it as an excuse to then have a tbsp of cashew butter, which leads to a grilled cheese, which leads to chocolate cake or Cereal. and I could have been having an excellent perfect fast day with zero desires up until that one hiccup, and then I just fling myself off the cliff. After reading that article though I realize that when I reach for the grilled cheese or the oreo or any of it, that it is a cue for me to step back and take a look at what has happened, probe around and see what I am trying to hide from, what got me so scared I had to reach for the food to hide inside? As for the other bit, about the scale, maybe I did not explain it well enough. I wasn't complaining about a 5 pound bounce, I was ticked off because I LITERALLY stepped on the scale, got one number, stepped on again and got another number. It is digital and the batteries are fresh but the floor isn't perfectly level and the scale is several years old so I don't know. considering how huge my breasts still are (seriously I'm still in a frickin DDD cup!!) I'm pretty sure the lower awesome number was not the real number but still - stupid jerk scale!! Toying with my emotions that way!! The only other scales here are those old doctors sliding scales and those are notoriously inaccurate.

Mine does me That way too. If I step on and off every time I step on it pretty much a new number. And then other days I'll step on it stays right there come back same number. DIGITAL!!!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Weird...my scale is so consistent I sometimes wonder if it's broken. Haha. I have tried putting my feet in different spotd, going pee, drinking water...weight doesn't vary with repeated weightings.

[coops 1,790]

Hi all...

Sorry I haven't posted much... not been feeling that sociable to be honest, but I have been reading - and thinking.

Lot of us have a lot going on in our heads at the moment... I often think of our group. I hope everyone is chugging along as sometimes that is all we can do!

I am really confused at the moment with my weight - I started using the progesterone cream 3 weeks ago - it has worked a treat with the hot flashes and my moods are better, not there yet but improved so that is all good. However, I have gained a lot of weight... I got up to 163lbs - that is a 9lb increase! I have dropped a couple of pounds, 160 this morning, but I am basically 3lbs lighter now than I was this time last year... I can't even tell you how disheartened I am. Now, if I was eating crap and not following the 5:2 then I would fess up... in saying that I ain't perfect either. But I can promise you I have not and can not eat enough to gain that sort of weight in three weeks. My fast days have been almost perfect - hubby is still doing it and is feeling great! oh and losing well!- on my feast days I am aware of eating clean and do 90% of the time. I have been exercising too... lots of good boxes ticked! I have even given up bread and bread type things for lent

So what on earth is going on... I was soooo close to my first goal, and honestly thought I was going to do it and go lower, even it the going was slow... but now I feel soooo far away from it and I feel like a complete failure again. I know I shouldn't let the numbers dictate to me and I try not to... but I can't help it at the moment... and compound my confusion my clothes feel the same but I do 'feel' bigger, even though I am not! My hubby even told me that I 'looked' narrower? How is that even possible!

I feel that there is always a pay off in what I do in order to get my health back: I lose a load of weight and the menopause hits and hits hard; I try different Patches and tablets that don't help and makes me feel worse.. then I struggle to lose more weight - but it comes off at a snails pace... then the menopause hits hard again so I try something new and gain 9lbs and that has a detrimental affect on my train of thought! Seriously!!

I know this is chicken feed to a lot of your problems and situations and I realise that I have a lot to be thankful and grateful for and I am... I just want some 'inner' peace; to feel complete in myself and not angry with my body - why are my body and my mind in a constant state of flux? Why do they keep this horrible, negative battle going on... I just want peace and reconciliation - I want to feel 'well' and 'well-being'. Is that too much? Am I being selfish? Should I just settle with what I have and count my blessings?

I need a light bulb moment girls cos it is pretty dark here at the moment!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

oh girlfriend! I'm sorry to hear your body is blackmailing you right now, But... happy the cream is working on the flashes and mood. I think it should help you lose too... Maybe this 9 pounds will pass quickly...HAS to be mostly water!

[UK Cathy 977]

Coops, sorry you are feeling bad. {{HUGS}}.

[Chimera 644]

I am so sorry you are going through these wacky swings with menopause - I am in it as well, though have yet to have the serious symptoms hit me - I know they will come.

You will get your goal - please don't feel like a failure. I know that I have to constantly work on my inner dialogue - it is utterly punishing a lot of the time. Something that helps me is to remember gratitude, even if it is the tiniest thing, thinking of 5 things I am grateful for can make the pain a tiny bit easier - like my kitties brushing up against my legs and looking up and purring

I think of everyone often as well - especially folks who get so upset or are struggling with issues that they feel they have to leave the board :/

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Maybe Im hanging in the wrong places, but is Butter around any more?

[UK Cathy 977]

Butter seems to have gone off piste at about the same time LV took a rest, No! I'm not starting a rumour.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I just started progesterone cream and my weight went up too. I had no idea it caused that. I am on it because my medical doctor is convinced that my waking in middle of the night is due to adrenal surge caused by hormone issues. I'd rather be tired than obese again so I won't use it if this continues I n any way. Does the progesterone cause hunger?

[M2G 1,836]

Kelly, thank you so much for the information about the meds. I might look into it in the future, but for now I will probably skip trying any meds. I really need to just 1. focus on tracking my food. and 2. focus on trying to fast at least once a week. (more would be better, but baby steps, baby steps.)

Florinda, I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time, just wanting to send you a hug.

Kim, I hope you don't have to lose -5lbs, I can totally understand your mindset of just let me enjoy what I've accomplished before having to set any new goal. I like the idea of tweaking your eating to see what kind of results you can get.

Wanda, lovely song!

Georgia, OMG love the pictures your grandaughters are just beautiful and your daughter looks exactly like you. Glad you made it through even though you still have reservations I wish the new couple nothing but happiness and sunshine. Also glad the worst of the shingles is over. Hugs!

Coops, awwww, shucks, please don't be down on yourself about the extra lbs. You are doing so good and that f'ing mother nature and her damn meno-crap....well, just chalk it up to that and NOT WHAT YOU ARE DOING...because I think you are doing FANTASTIC and listen to Steve when he gives you those compliments about how great you are looking!! Hugs for you also.

Dorrie...I'm sending you a hug also...gosh it sure does sound like you are dealing with a lot. Please know that I'm thinking of you...

Sheryl, glad you had a good vaca and you killed that swimsuit!! Woo hoo!

Did I forget anyone? If I did, apologies...

Anyway, I did attend the funeral for the friend's sister who killed herself this past Wed. Talk about an emotionally exhausting draining day. I was proud of myself though because they had a reception immediately following and I ate 1/4 (seriously tiny) of a turkey wrap, 2 baby carrots and 2 mini-thumprint Cookies AND I logged everything! Woo hoo! So major victory there.

Here is what I wore to the funeral...actually this photo was NOT taken on that day but rather a day that I was just trying out various clothing options and when it came time to decide what to wear this outfit seemed appropriate.

[M2G 1,836]

Sorry computer is acting up didn't want to lose my post so I hit send...

Will try to attach a photo here...