I am young-25- and going through the insurance approval process right now. Whenever I tell someone about my surgery plans they always say the same thing. "it requires a lifestyle change anyway, so why not just make the change without surgery?" or "you will just lose all the weight and then gain it back." the only person who is supportive is my husband. What do u say to these people?

I've not run into any haters as yet. My family was concerned initially, but got on board when I showed I'd thoroughly researched my options and potential repercussions. They saw me stick to the program before and after surgery. I do hear the inevitable stories about people's friends and relatives regaining the weight after the band or bypass, but they're not being critical, just sharing what little the know from others. It's a good opportunity to educate people about WLS. I actually gave a speech about my experience at my Toastmaster club.

Shel in Kansas - Sleeved 5/21/13

I too have told no one I'm gettin it because I'm surrounded by the same group of people who don't understand what it's like to be in my skin. Only close family and my husband of course know of this important decision in my life. I lost a bunch of weight in the past an sadly gaine most of it back so I will tell everyone that I followed the same routine as before. Strict diet and exercise... Overall it's not a lie lol

You are only confirming my decision not to divulge the details of my upcoming surgery with my co-workers. They already scrutinize who eats what at office gatherings, so heaven forbid I eat half a donut or something after the procedure. I know they will be waiting for some sort of failure or re-gain no matter what I do.

So. . . Make your haters your motivators! I plan on being the most fabulous and toned me I can be! Every NSV and weight milestone will be my personal eff you to the naysayers.

Jennifer

People think its the easy way out..so if a person needs a heart bypass from being obese..is that the easy way out? Its a cruel world out there and people will judge you anyway. If you want surgery to help better your life and health then do it for you!! Its normally the people that have problems with their lives so they have to make ours difficult too!best of luck to you!

I tell everyone Im trying to have surgery. The "haters" don't know anything about the weight loss surgeries, they are thinking we are taking the "easy way out". We know its a lifestyle change our doctors tell us that 100 times before surgery. They are jealous that we will lose weight fast and look better than them!! I would tell people to do their research before trying to give me info on something they know NOTHING about!! Some of struggle just to lose 5lbs, no matter healthy we eat or how much we exercise! If it bothers you that people have to throw in their 2 cents then I wouldn't tell anyone, but if you really don't care what they think...flaunt it!!! I am excited about having the surgery so I cant help but talk about it and Im ready for any haters. Doesn't matter what you do in life, get promoted, lose weight on your own, get a new boyfriend, have a baby....there will always be haters talking crap...so let them talk, because soon they will be talking about someone else anyway!! Stay strong and like the comment above...give 'em the finger...lol

I'm of two minds on this topic.

First, I told people. I let my FB friends know and told them if they weren't going to be supportive they were getting deleted. And I meant it. I made sure I did my research before I told anyone, though. I kind of explored the idea, after years of saying I'd never do it (being a hater myself, actually), before I committed. Once I decided, I shared it.

There are people who say it's our job to educate the haters. I'm not sure I agree all the time. Yeah, sometimes we can offer help to those that might not also consider surgery, but sometimes we can be selfish and make it about us (if we don't look out for us, who will?) and ignore their negativity.

So, when someone suggests that surgery is the easy way out, or that just modifying behavior is the simple answer, I take a deep breath. If they've been successful, I congratulate them on their success. And then I say that I want to make this permanent, that it's hard work, and then move on in the conversation.

I read somewhere recently that cancer is something we have, but obese is something we are. It was a pretty powerful observation. Somehow the label gives people to be more judgemental and tell us how to deal with our health problems. If I had breast cancer and decided to have a masectomy versus a less radical treatment, people wouldn't be so bold about second guessing my decision with my doctor, so why are they with surgery. Just food for thought.

Best wishes. I love my sleeve. (even if some days it doesn't love me... eat slowly)