I am young-25- and going through the insurance approval process right now. Whenever I tell someone about my surgery plans they always say the same thing. "it requires a lifestyle change anyway, so why not just make the change without surgery?" or "you will just lose all the weight and then gain it back." the only person who is supportive is my husband. What do u say to these people?

I think all of us here had those people in our lives that said "why not just do it on your own." I tell them, if I could do it on my own then why is it taking me 30 years to lose weight. I'm 34 now and I have been overweight all of my life. The reasons to do this surgery outweighed the reasons not to do this surgery. No one but me (and the people on this site) knows my struggle and the issues I've had to deal with. Also some people like to say that this is taking the easy way out. If they only knew what we have to do they wouldn't say that. This isn't easy. It's a tool to help with a lifestyle change. Don't worry about those people. Most of them have never struggled with their weight so it's easy for them to make remarks like that. You do what is right for you and only you. In the end it's your health.

...this is one of the reasons I told no one. People can be mean, intentionally & unintentionally.

Nice thing about getting older, I don't give a crap what others think about having the surgery. That being said, I've told everyone I know and no one has been anything other than supportive.

Shel in Kansas / Sleeved 5/21/13

_{I have had a couple people give me the look before surgery, like "what are you doing that for? Are you crazy?" But that same person just told me how great I am looking now that I am down 55 pounds and their attitude was totally different. If you are confident in your decision, tell them your reasons. It is kind of nice to repeat it and have it stick and make it your own. I know exactly why I chose what I chose and I am so happy with my decision. There will always be haters, but not saying anything risks not having those others that are supportive in your corner. it is up to you but don't let them get to you. Ask those who have been through it.}

The Haters: I am 57 and just now preparing for surgery. I soooooo wish I had done this years ago because my weight ruined my health over the years. Bariatric surgery may not even restore me to health as some of the damage to my body is permanent. Not to mention the costs and side effects of taking multiple medications for decades. I have managed to have a full life ,except no children , but I allowed my weight to always dictate my life with non stop dieting and the constant battle of the roller coaster ride up and down 10, 20, 30 pounds. What an incredible waste of the best years of my life. I look forward to a heathier, thinner me after bariatric surgery. I want to live the next 30 years of my life with ME directing my choices, not my weight dictating my choices. If I am going to continue to be preoccupied with my weight and diet after bariatric surgery at least I am more confident that my efforts will be rewarded and not a waste of time doing "just one more diet". I have a better chance of maintaining my weight once the excess weight is off, as long as I do the work and follow the rules. The roller coaster ride is coming to an abrupt, permanent end now for me age 57! It is not too late for me but if I could have done this when I was younger, I can only imagine how my life could have been diiferent, better, happier, and healthier.

For those I don't care about, I stick with a very short: "My Doctor and I have decided this is the best option for my health". I don't address any other negative comments. If they keep up after this I move away if possible and if not, I say, "Let's talk about something else".

For those that I do care about, I spend more time describing that WLS has the highest success rate for permanent weight reduction and that while every surgery carries risks, the risks of remaining obese are greater.

Lynda

I am young-25- and going through the insurance approval process right now. Whenever I tell someone about my surgery plans they always say the same thing. "it requires a lifestyle change anyway' date=' so why not just make the change without surgery?" or "you will just lose all the weight and then gain it back." the only person who is supportive is my husband. What do u say to these people?[/quote']

I use their negative comments as reminders when I get the urge to cheat or when my mind tries to talk me out of exercising for the day. No, I'm not trying to impress anyone but those negative comments really help me when I need it most. Thank you Haters!!!!! :0)

I am young-25- and going through the insurance approval process right now. Whenever I tell someone about my surgery plans they always say the same thing. "it requires a lifestyle change anyway' date=' so why not just make the change without surgery?" or "you will just lose all the weight and then gain it back." the only person who is supportive is my husband. What do u say to these people?[/quote']

I've been getting the same reaction. My own mother in law warned my husband, "Are you sure you want her to have the surgery? What if she looses the weight and gets a big head and wants to leave you or go out and party" ---- like really? I also have a lot of people say that I don't look that big but if I wasn't "that big" or if it wasn't beneficial to my health then my insurance wouldn't cover it. My cousin who's never been fat in her life was telling me to just eat healthier and watch my calories and be more active....instead of supporting my decision. I was so excited at first and started telling people but noticed that there are more haters then supporters.

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Haters gonna hate, end of story. Jealousy, fear, ignorance. Sometimes people who are a couple of pounds overweight comfort themselves with "well at least I'm not as big as her" thinking, and when you do something about it, it scared the ever livin $h!t out of them. You can't help/change these people. The people who love you or are just uneducated about it will come around as you start to educate them about it, those are the ones who will start asking the good questions. The others just have their own sickness to deal with and you gotta do what's right for you.

It is why I only told 3 ppl.....the ones I knew would be by my every step of the way.....No one else needed to know.

I, too, have told only one other person besides my husband, and that other person was someone who had been sleeved herself, so of course she was completely supportive. What I find so incredibly ironic about the people who judge us for doing this, is that they are the same people that judge us for being overweight. Sometimes you just can't win. It's so easy for people to say 'you are taking the easy way out' or 'why don't you just diet and exercise'. That proves how misinformed they are about this process for sure.

I like the other posters suggestion of 'this is the best course of action as determined by myself and my doctor'. End of story.

Best wishes to you!

For those I don't care about, I stick with a very short: "My Doctor and I have decided this is the best option for my health".

This. My psychologist and I discussed this exact issue during my appointment - his best advice was to not tell anyone, but if they ask what "diet" I am on (once the weight loss becomes obvious) to encourage them to see their own doctor and nutritionist for a personalized plan. No mention of surgery, just keep on truckin' towards my own better health.

Good luck to you!

Haters..ugh.. I avoid drama, and toxic people, which sadly includes a majority of my family, (not including my husband and kids) I am very honest and to the point, most people who have made ride and unwanted comments to me, I just shut them down. This is my life, my choice, and nothing they say will change that. With that being said, I've chosen to keep only positive people around me. My husband and kids are super supportive and I appreciate them. I know what I'm up against and ready for the challenge and New life ahead of me.

I told only my manager at work and my very close friends that I knew could keep it hush,hush. I did not even tell my mother in law until a week before the surgery. I have told people when they ask what I have been doing if I think that it would maybe help them as well, but some still do not know the truth about what I have been doing and to be honest it is really no ones buisness except your own. Tell who you want to tell and do not worry about what others are thinking about you.

Middle fingers to all those haters lol