HELP-I feel so desperate right now

[BabyGotBack 0]

I feel really desperate right now. I can't explain how I feel, I am trying to sort it our as I feel it. My husband wants to take me out dancing. I don't want to go. He wants to go out and Celebrate my banding next week. He is being careful to eat before we go, not in front of me and is not going to eat at the restaurant where the dancing is.

I feel like if I can't eat, it's not worth going. Today is day 1 of my pre op and I am not going to blow it. My husband won't let me either. Why do I feel this way? Like if I can't eat, it's not worth going out and having a good time with my husband?????

It makes me realize how food centered everything is. My mom also wants to go out to eat Breakfast with my daughters and I. I told her I couldn't eat because I am doing my pre op diet. She said "what does that mean, you can't go out and eat with me ever again?" I told her that just because I can't eat, doesn't mean she and my daughters couldn't and that soon, I could eat something lite or Soup.

I feel soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hungry, like my stomach is a black hole. I know I am going to go through some emotions and it makes me feel better coming here and talking about it. I want to have fun, my husband wants to go have fun. Why am I mourning the food part of it? I think I screwed up and opened up my appetite by overeating and eating what ever I wanted. My first pre op diet wasn't like this. I didn't feel like this. I am also in that first week before my period, and I feel extra funky and hungry because of that. :help:

Well, at least I will definitely get my exercise in today. We are going salsa and merengue dancing. It takes a lot of energy to do that. I am feeling better venting. I was venting to my husband too, but he just doesn't understand how I feel. He is trying to be very supportive and is really excited about my surgery for me. He listens, but he doesn't understand. I can tell he feels sorry for me.

Man, I think I need those Quick Slim 30. My stomach aches. Has anyone else felt like this????????

Has anyone else gone through these feelings? I feel like such a "weak" person. I am normally very strong and can will myself past things, but this is really kicking my butt. I want to sort out as much as I can pre band, so it will be smoother sailing.

Audree :help:

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[jillrn 0]

It is such an adjustment and I think you are mourning the loss of your best friend- FOOD! I suggest you make yourself go and FAKE it like you are having a good time if you have too. You may find it takes your mind off of stuff and you may find yourself actually having some fun! Good luck hang in there- you'll get a new best friend-- it may be the petite section of your fav clothing store! Jill

[conniesueb 1]

Audree--it is completely normal to be feeling the way you are. I think we all go through it. I know my husband is trying to be so supportive, but sometimes he just makes too big a deal of things like going out to eat. I am trying to just go on with life as usual, I don't want anyone making a big deal of this thing, but sometimes they just don't get it. Going out to eat does not hold the same appeal to me as it used to, that's for sure. So now when we are going to go out, I tell him that I don't care where we go because wherever we go, I will make do. He gets upset sometimes that I won't pick the place, but I just don't care. It is especially hard when you are on liquids though. I was fortunate not to have to do a liquid pre-op diet--just low carb, but the liquid phase the first weeks after was a challenge. You just have to re-define your relationship with food. My whole life used to revolve around food. Now, I have just changed the way I feel about it--I eat to live, I don't live to eat anymore. Just try and go on with your life as normally as possible, and not make this a bigger deal than it has to be. And your mom will come around-it's just hard for some people to wrap their brain around this concept of the band! Good luck with everything, and Hang in there!

[Kat817 19]

Mourning the loss of our comfort is hard business, and sometimes angry business too!!!

I agree with jill---go, and act like it is fun, and it will likely turn out that way. It also fills you with a feeling of power when there is something there, that you want and you work past that feeling. At this point we need all the empowerment we can find! Keep that positive thought of the dancing being exercise, and remind yourself, that with nothing going in, that your scale will really be moving---and next year, you will be one hot mama on the dance floor!

And within a couple of months, you will be going out to eat with the family, and they will never notice a difference, as you will be able to eat---just much less, and they will never notice, until you put 3/4 or more of your meal in a to go box! Life gets back to normal quickly, and it is so much better to feel in control!

Yesterday I was reading a post about a woman who went to kiss her DH goodbye in front of friends, and he turned away ashamed of her, she was finding the same with her kids, and co workers. So while you may not be psyched over going, be glad your DH is still proud to be with you, and wants you on the dance floor with him....he is so much more of a man than what that other poor woman was married to.

Go and try to enjoy yourself, it will occupy your mind with something besides food---it will get easier, hang in there--come back for support when you need it!!!

Kat

[jahair 0]

Mourning the loss of our comfort is hard business, and sometimes angry business too!!!

I agree with jill---go, and act like it is fun, and it will likely turn out that way. It also fills you with a feeling of power when there is something there, that you want and you work past that feeling. At this point we need all the empowerment we can find! Keep that positive thought of the dancing being exercise, and remind yourself, that with nothing going in, that your scale will really be moving---and next year, you will be one hot mama on the dance floor!

And within a couple of months, you will be going out to eat with the family, and they will never notice a difference, as you will be able to eat---just much less, and they will never notice, until you put 3/4 or more of your meal in a to go box! Life gets back to normal quickly, and it is so much better to feel in control!

Yesterday I was reading a post about a woman who went to kiss her DH goodbye in front of friends, and he turned away ashamed of her, she was finding the same with her kids, and co workers. So while you may not be psyched over going, be glad your DH is still proud to be with you, and wants you on the dance floor with him....he is so much more of a man than what that other poor woman was married to.

Go and try to enjoy yourself, it will occupy your mind with something besides food---it will get easier, hang in there--come back for support when you need it!!!

Kat

Well said Kat!

Jo Ann

[Katgirl 0]

I was too excited to mourn the food - you will be too when you start to lose! It will be fabulous! Tell your husband you will go dancing when you start to feel sexy again after some of the weightloss, and when you are able to eat solids, because then you can eat and dance. As for your Mom, you will be able to go with her for breaky again soon...after a couple of months when you are on solids again. I guarantee you will feel much better in a couple of months!

Hang in there and think positive thoughts!

Kat.

[~Jules~ 0]

Hi Audree,

Think of the dancing as exercise. This time you are going through is called Bandster Hell. You are very likely to feel this way for a few weeks after surgery as well. Just hang in there. It really does get better. I got through it because I could see the weight falling off. You will be able to go with you mother and daughters soon. Just not now. It is torture to sit there and watch others eat. When I am on liquids, I don't sit at the table with my family. I just can't do it.

Good luck to you Audree. I know you can do it.

[bandiva 0]

Hi Audree. I went through this too. Also, I found a lot of my hunger was head hunger. Once I decided I wasn't hungry it really helped. Also, about 3 weeks before my operation my doctor gave me anxiety medication. I took it when I needed it and it made things a lot easier for me and my family. It also helped me get the sleep I needed.

Everything will be OK, you are in the best possible hands. I promise that it is worth it. You can do this, stay calm, remember to breath. You are more powerful than food. xoxo Call me or pm me if I can help you in any way.

[BabyGotBack 0]

Thanks everybody for your support!!!

It made a world of a difference coming here and venting my feelings to people I knew who would understand me 100%.

We did go out, my attitude was good, I had energy for some reason, I am usually noding off in the evening. You know what really helped? I drank one of those Kellogs Protein waters. They have 5 grms of Protein whey and it really did hit the spot. I was really surprised!!!

It says on the package it is supposed to be used in between meals to help keep you stay on track and curb your appetite. It tastes good. It is a little thicker than Water, like a Water smoothie!!

Bandiva: Thanks! Knowing you went to the same doctor a few weeks before me make me feel better since you are doing so well.

Audree

[kathyinca 0]

Audree,

Looks like you've gotten through yesterday and dancing

I just wanted to tell you that I was also banded by Dr. Ortiz on 11/23/2006. The pre-op diet was really, really hard for me as well. It made me so crabby that I'd go home and go to bed early! I did not want to see anyone or do anything. I think I was moody and feeling like I was being "punished" since food, my friend, was being "taken away". My husband was great during this.....thank goodness.

It really is good that you have family support since this pre-op diet is tough. I was able to join people out to dinner and breakfast soon after surgery...I just drank my liquid Soup or Water or coffee.

You are going through the toughest time......but you will feel better if you can follow the pre-op diet and stick with it up until surgery. It is a big sense of accomplishment to know that you did all you can to have a safe surgery.

You are almost there.......

Kathy

[BabyGotBack 0]

I just wanted to tell you that I was also banded by Dr. Ortiz on 11/23/2006. The pre-op diet was really, really hard for me as well. It made me so crabby that I'd go home and go to bed early! I

It really is good that you have family support since this pre-op diet is tough. I was able to join people out to dinner and breakfast soon after surgery...I just drank my liquid Soup or Water or coffee.< /p>

You are going through the toughest time......but you will feel better if you can follow the pre-op diet and stick with it up until surgery. It is a big sense of accomplishment to know that you did all you can to have a safe surgery.

You are almost there.......

Kathy

Thanks for the encouragement! I do find myself myself a lot crabbier and less patient with my little ones. Today is going a lot better! I added more Protein, shredded turkey to my lunch. It helped. Can you tell me about how your experience went with Dr. Ortiz? Come and visit me on the lower bmi thread!!!

Audree

[transformer 1]

I always try to look on the bright side, so I'll say that I'm so happy for you that you have a supportive hubby who is willing to take you out dancing! You are quite blessed, indeed!

You are not a weak person--we are literally starving right now! Make sure you are getting in enough Protein to help you not feel as hungry (my goal is 90g per day as advised by my doctor). Drink your Water, Soups, etc. and don't give up! It will all be worth it!

[vinesqueen 2]

this is a difficult time, no doubt about it. But this is absolutely a normal phase. Once you start looking at how you deal with food, as well as how you don't deal with food, do no be surpirsed that new issues crop up.

There is no question that humans use food and a focal point for entertaining and socializing. We need food after all to survive. And currently there is a big push to "get back to the dinner table" to further socialize our families.

Please dont' put off the dancing, or the socializeing. Right now it might be hard to go to the restaurant, but perhaps your mom will compromise by going to a park? I don't even know if that's possible where you live, but this is NOT a permanent restricion. After being banded for a while, you won't even notice going back to restaurants. You will "normalize"... honest!

[Amy M 0]

Hi,

I think you should really consider asking your doctor for an anxiety medication, like zanax. I just started taking them and i don't even have a surgery date but the anxiety of insurance issues and doctors was getting to me. The anxiety medicine also takes away your appetite as well as head hunger. The week before your period is always a nightmare, so maybe next week won't be so bad. Good luck!

[BabyGotBack 0]

Does anyone know if St. Johns Wort or some other natural remedy could work. I like to take only natural homeopathic medications. I have a chinese herbalist I go to, but I am not telling him about the band.

He is very into natural things and doesn't like anything un natural. He had me on some shakes called Juvo. They were veggie shakes and he had me on this appetite suppresant called Quick Slim 30.

Which I will probably buy after banding. I am not taking anything right now just in case it would think my blood, absolutely no supplements. I was taking some Green Tea pills, but now I am not taking those either just in case.

Those Kellogg k20 Protein water's have really helped with my appetite and adding veggies and some more protein.

Thanks for all you help! Audree