nearly spilled the beans....

[PGee 318]

I'm pre-op, and have decided to keep this to myself....went to lunch with a group of friends, including 1RNY patient, and one who is thinking about it.......they started talking about WLS, and I nearly told them what I've been up to.....would love to talk with them, but once you say the words, you can never get them back....and I'm just not ready to tell people....wish me luck, because I am not the best at keeping my mouth shut! LOL

[MizzouGirl 148]

I made the same decision - the only people who knew were my husband, my trainer and my hairdresser. I had my surgery last Friday and I just told my family today but asked that they not share it outside the family. I have 2 close friends that I'm still on the fence about telling. It was tough sometimes as I felt like I was lying by omission but I'm glad I handled it as I did. I just didn't want a bunch of voices chiming in who hadn't done the research and might make me feel bad in any way. My family was super supportive when I told them today. Good luck to you --- it's hard not to share something that's such a big part of your life and everyone has to handle the disclosure as feels most comfortable for them.

[iminthis4me 10]

Yeah, I thought to myself i didn't care what people thought until I told one particular person at work and boy did I get it for the next 15 minutes on how people that get this surgery stretch their stomachs back out and how so and so did it and didn't do to good. It was so funny though because once she finished all that rambling she told me how she had just recently lost all her weight again doing weight watchers and she was really sticking to it this time because it works when you stick to it. She never made the connect that both methods are the same. It has to be a lifestyle either way.

I decided then that i didn't want to hear anyone else's opinion. Even though their opinion doesn't play a part in my life, I don't want to hear it in the first place.

[makemyownluck 785]

When my mom came to see me in my room right after surgery, she told me that she talked to my aunt and told her what I was doing. She felt guilty, and I was mad at her!! I was doped up on morphine, but I was so mad about it!! I feel like she spilled my Beans, I really didn't want to share this with anyone. I don't mind being helpful on a web forum, but I just don't need everyone in my real life knowing about this...

That said, I have only told my parents (who told the rest of the fam, apparently), and 3 of my closest friends. I can't quite articulate why, but I just don't want people to know about it! It's no one's business!

[Lisha73 97]

I have to say I was total opposite...I told my family and a couple of my closest friends...I was afraid at first but I wanted the support of my family. The only person that I had an issue with was my brothers wife (she is a know it all nursing students). We dont even know each other, so I just blew her off...But everyone in my family was very supportive and now both my parents are thinking of doin it too.

[altagirl 127]

I didn't tell anyone (no one, I am single so no BF or DH to tell!) that I was having surgery and I still haven't. People sometimes ask me how I lost weight and I tell them - I don't eat very much at all. No one really asks much after that. I was lucky that my recovery was very smooth - I had surgery on Monday and was back to work on Friday. I struggled but it was all worth it.

[melissa130 135]

I kept it a secret to. Of course my husband knows- and so do my parents and siblings. But everybody else- at work and all the other places I go- do not know. Mostly because I don't want everybodys opinion. I don't care what they all have to say. And forever- people pay attention to what you eat. I can't stand that. I work with other people that have had different wls and boy- people are all in their "plates". And now that I am looking thinner- I can't get over the way people talk about overweight people. I have always known- which is why I never wanted to leave my house at almost 300 pounds. But it amazes me - how everyday i hear horrible things being said about overweight folks. I say - keep it to yourself. Forever.

[iminthis4me 10]

This is what I wanted to hear. I'm wanting to think I'll be alright to come back to work after only 9 days off but I'm concerned sitting all day will not be good for my stomach and I just won't feel like I have the energy to function but your story let's me know its at least possible.

[mistysj 1,939]

I did feel inspired to tell my friends and family, after Angelina Jolie came out about her double mastectomy. To me, WLS is in the same category as that and I wanted to do my part to help people get over the stigma. I have had zero negative comments. That being said, I respeect and understand people's decision not to share it. I initially wasn't going to share with anyone but my husband and my best friend.

[PGee 318]

I kept it a secret to. Of course my husband knows- and so do my parents and siblings.......And forever- people pay attention to what you eat.............I can't get over the way people talk about overweight people......

I'm so glad I'm not alone....and kudos to those brave souls who bared it all to their loved ones. My husband knows, and one sibling.......still on the fence about telling the rest of my family....DH wanted me to discuss it with his mom who's a nurse, but as you put perfectly, I don't want people to focus on what's on my plate, how much I've lost, etc. and forbid him to mention it to his family either (yup, I'm the enforcer in the family LOL)

people are going to talk, regardless....if it's not about weight (too big, too small), it's about something else......so this is something else I'm not handing to them on a platter LOL Thank you all for your input!

[altagirl 127]

This is what I wanted to hear. I'm wanting to think I'll be alright to come back to work after only 9 days off but I'm concerned sitting all day will not be good for my stomach and I just won't feel like I have the energy to function but your story let's me know its at least possible.

I know there are many people who don't want to return to work until they are eating and comfortable. I had the option to take off more time but did not. I have a mostly desk job - when I went back to work I was moving around slowly. I had 1 person ask me if I was "ok" and I just said I was in pain but it would pass - by the following Monday (one week after surgery) I was walking around just fine. The only problem I had at work was feeling ill and having to take many trips to the bathroom for fear of throwing up. I never actually got sick but there were many times I was close.

[zenandnow 514]

I've struggled with this too. I manage a team of 10 people, and work with a pretty big department, so they all knew I was out for 2&1/2 weeks, but not why. I only told my hubby and my parents. I swore them to secrecy because i have a skinny, bit**y sister who will never let it go & give me merciless grief about it. I do not feel a need to share with anyone else - it's none of their business, and I don't want to hear uninformed commentary. I've lost 20 lbs (pre-op 239) but only one person has commented on it. I think because they think I was on medical leave for an illness & it would be 'rude' to comment on. They just say "you look great!"

It is kind of lying by omission, by why do I owe personal details to anyone other than those closest to me? My medical decisions are private.

I also feel vindicated in this decision because there's one nasty woman at work who literally looked me up & down and asked me point blank if I had WLS. Before I could even answer she said "you might think you took the easy way out, but it won't last. You end up gaining it all back. Look at Carnie Wilson!"

Too bad there is a policy against slapping people at my work!

[MizzouGirl 148]

I've struggled with this too. I manage a team of 10 people' date=' and work with a pretty big department, so they all knew I was out for 2&1/2 weeks, but not why. I only told my hubby and my parents. I swore them to secrecy because i have a skinny, bit**y sister who will never let it go & give me merciless grief about it. I do not feel a need to share with anyone else - it's none of their business, and I don't want to hear uninformed commentary. I've lost 20 lbs (pre-op 239) but only one person has commented on it. I think because they think I was on medical leave for an illness & it would be 'rude' to comment on. They just say "you look great!"

It is kind of lying by omission, by why do I owe personal details to anyone other than those closest to me? My medical decisions are private.

I also feel vindicated in this decision because there's one nasty woman at work who literally looked me up & down and asked me point blank if I had WLS. Before I could even answer she said "you might think you took the easy way out, but it won't last. You end up gaining it all back. Look at Carnie Wilson!"

Too bad there is a policy against slapping people at my work!

[/quote']

I can't believe how rude people can be. Maybe you could hide a banana or some white castles somewhere in her desk where she can't find them so she has to work in the stench. Just don't get caught.

[iminthis4me 10]

Mizzougirl - have you shared your surgery story anywhere on the web yet. i would love to know how it went. I'm really interested in the day of surgery and how you felt when you woke up.

[MizzouGirl 148]

Mizzougirl - have you shared your surgery story anywhere on the web yet. i would love to know how it went. I'm really interested in the day of surgery and how you felt when you woke up.

I posted my story earlier this week. Here's the link:

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/topic/82086-my-surgery-experience/

If the link doesn't work, I'll copy and paste. When I first woke, I remember being in a lot of pain but they took care of it almost immediately. The day of surgery was actually easier for me than the next day. On day 2 I had a breakdown because it hurt so much to drink anything (stomach seizing) which I learned is normal and has since pretty much gone away. I was worried that something was wrong and it was going to be like that from now on. My advice (and this is based on my experience) is to really mentally prepare for the pre-op diet and the first 5ish days post op as this time period was very difficult for me. I just don't like the liquid diet as I don't believe in or like artificial sweeteners and really haven't found a Protein drink I like (I've tried over a dozen) so ingesting anything is a real struggle for me. I've read that some others breeze through this phase, so it may just be me. I should get to move to full liquids on Friday and I can't wait!!!

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. Best wishes to you!!