I was so excited for my surgery and I've pretty much told everyone in my life including co-workers about it. My family has been great, but some of my co-workers have been shady. I've even had a few try to tell me that WLS is cosmetic! As if. Now I am not one who cares too much about what others think. But it's super annoying. half of the reason I shared is because 75% of the women I work with are overweight themselves and perhaps hearing my story would inspire them. Instead they hate. Well they will really hate me a year from now when I'm a size 8. Ha.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 203 DOS was May 7th 2013

It seems like this procedure (or any WLS' date=' really) is the great litmus test for relationships. All kinds of relationships--family, friends, significant others, spouses, co-workers.

I look at it this way; if my connection to that person--or group of people--is so shaky that being sleeved will destroy it, am I really any worse off? Better to clear the negativity, and ditch the haters! I'll be thankful if my sleeve and the success it brings also helps me shake off anyone who isn't really who they claim to be in my life! Sometimes you gotta lift the rock to see the creepy crawlies underneath for what they really are. Rock that sleeve and let them choke on their jealousy.[/quote']

Very true. And the funny thing I that all of my real friends and family have been supportive. The most resistance I got was them thinking I wasn't "big" enough to have surgery. But once the decision was made they were all on board (at least to my face lol). But these co workers who I really don't care about or have personal relationships with have an opinion on my life and feel the need to share it with me. Meanwhile they all got together to send me a huge bouquet of flowers to the hospital. But you are right. They don't matter in the end anyway.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 203 DOS was May 7th 2013

Makes you wonder...if someone needed a breast reduction medically, would these same haters tell that woman she's taking the easy route and to suck it up and carry those boulders around?

Makes you wonder...if someone needed a breast reduction medically' date=' would these same haters tell that woman she's taking the easy route and to suck it up and carry those boulders around?[/quote']

Lol, exactly!!

Lots of people have no Ida what it actually is. My mom thought they were going to cut out my fat! So I think a lot of the negative opinions are coming from a place of ignorance. People don't care to become less ignorant. Just look at all the scams that go around on Facebook or the unscientific arguments about climate change and pollution.

Yeah I would say this is pretty true. My mom thought that they wrapped your stomach in a sleeve like material. Had to explain the whole surgery and she freaked out in me when I told her they cut most of your stomach out. She's ok now but that was a rough conversation...

Lots of people have no Ida what it actually is. My mom thought they were going to cut out my fat! So I think a lot of the negative opinions are coming from a place of ignorance. People don't care to become less ignorant. Just look at all the scams that go around on Facebook or the unscientific arguments about climate change and pollution.

We are all agreed that your theory is crazy. The question that divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct.

Niels Bohr, physicist

The often quoted phrase points out a human foible: judging the validity of arguments by the audacity of those who speak them. Degree of craziness is a ridiculous measure of truth but it sways ignorant people who judge not by content but by emotion and "instinct".

But then there are the multitudes who lash out at anything that disturbs their sleep. Thinking brings change, change requires energy and can bring pain or pleasure. Most are not willing to risk the effort.

I understand the need for some people to be transparent, but not everyone needs to know your business. I decided to only tell my wife and my immediate family. My decision to have surgery was a decision between my family and I, and should have no impact on anyone else. My brother in law had wls surgery 6 weeks before me found that out the hard way, as he decided to tell everyone. He encountered some positive feedback and many others who decided to self appointed themselves to be his personal food police. Maybe I am old fashioned but not everyone needs to know every intimate detail of my life, like what I eat, drink or think every minute of the day. However, to each his/her own. More power to you if you feel the need to share such details of your life, but don't be surprised or upset if all feedback is not positive.

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I understand the need for some people to be transparent' date=' but not everyone needs to know your business. I decided to only tell my wife and my immediate family. My decision to have surgery was a decision between my family and I, and should have no impact on anyone else. My brother in law had wls surgery 6 weeks before me found that out the hard way, as he decided to tell everyone. He encountered some positive feedback and many others who decided to self appointed themselves to be his personal food police. Maybe I am old fashioned but not everyone needs to know every intimate detail of my life, like what I eat, drink or think every minute of the day. However, to each his/her own. More power to you if you feel the need to share such details of your life, but don't be surprised or upset if all feedback is not positive.

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I'm not surprised that the feedback isn't positive. I'm surprised that people have the audacity to voice it. Some opinions are better kept to yourself. For instance, I think my co workers husband is an a hole... But I'm not going to tell her that if she brings him up. I expect the same. And no I don't share every intimate detail of my life with everyone.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 201 DOS was May 7th 2013

I think most people have no internal filter so whatever they think comes out their mouth. I'm sure we would all like "you did the right thing and I am proud of you", but that is not human nature as a whole. Maybe you are like me and don't share everything about your life but many do and are shocked when they don't get the response they want to hear. Maybe I'm just cynical and I expect people to say the wrong thing most of the time.

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I'm not surprised that the feedback isn't positive. I'm surprised that people have the audacity to voice it. Some opinions are better kept to yourself. For instance, I think my co workers husband is an a hole... But I'm not going to tell her that if she brings him up. I expect the same. And no I don't share every intimate detail of my life with everyone.

highest weight = 228 DOS = 219 CW = 201 DOS was May 7th 2013

(Minor nit-pick - if it's feedback, it is always voiced in some way - that's what feedback is, a loop. I think you may have meant opinion, possibly?)

I totally agree with your example - really, is it necessary or correct to provide every negative opinion you have whether it might be hurtful or not? I may think that pink is the most hideous color in the world on you, but if you are wearing a pink dress that you love, what purpose would it serve for me to tell you that? It's my opinion, and worth what most opinions are if you aren't a professional. If it serves no useful purpose, I try to keep my negative opinions to myself. I don't always succeed, but I do try!

Unfortunately being tactful seems to be going the way of the VCR. A lot of people feel that they must voice their opinion no matter how hurtful. I guess society is not a PC as we have come to believe.

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Many folks employ the pre-adolescent level tactic of elevating themselves by lowering everyone else. Many people see the stupidity of this illusion and by age 13 cease to employ it. Others refine it to an art and end up in politics.

hi iontash,

I haven't told anyone hence the very reason why I haven't put a pic on here. i am a private person and I don't want people asking me a whole lot of questions that aren't any of their buasiness. I agree with you people do hate on you but who cares you are going to turn heads and they r going to really hate on you but you will get the last laugh!

Honestly the very naysayers will see your sucess and start to think maybe this can work for.me. as much as they say negative things it might help that one person who realizes it helped so and so so it could help me. I know for me i never thought it was an option i struggled to lose the weight i saw two people have sucess and thats what got me thinking maybe it could work for.me.

Its funny you should say this read my Name lol. I made the choice to keep it to myself after hearing my co-workers speak poorly of others at my job who have had it done. I ONLY told 3 people in this whole world my Fiance My mother and my brother who all stood by my side from the day of surgery until today, I was sleeved 12/6/12 and Am down 82 pounds. I have not told any other family members or even my best friend.. I REFUSE to be judged on a life choice I made. I feel left out when it comes to our sleeved community because we have a lot of positive support and things going on that I'm left out of because I made the choice to keep it a secret and that's how it will remain. Its sad that I allowed closed minded folks to make this choice for me but it is what it is and will remain this way! Despite that this is the best decision I have ever made and I have no regrets! I am also very happy I decided to keep it to myself even though people suspect I had it done they will NEVER get a conformation from me! I am only a few pounds away from my goal I'm hoping that no later then August I will see it!