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I've got a new TOTALLY SEXY morning routine that you won't want to miss.
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I feel great when I wake up. I get dressed, come downstairs, chew my baby Vitamins, take the puppy out, swallow my Vitamin D, make my shake, swallow my Prilosec, take a few sips of my shake and then it starts...
The rumbling, the grumbling, the overwhelming urge to belch that is so down deep in my belly and throat that will not surface. (This morning I did take a GasX strip to help it along and it worked!)
When I finally work the belch up to the top, it doesn't come out like a lady-like hic-burp, and it doesn't come out like a middle school boy with a soda. It comes out as if I had just shoved my finger down my throat after a night of binge drinking. It's ugly, it's mucous, it's deep and loud. It's preceded by a mouthful of spit that must be spat. Then it occurs again and again. The second and third are usually deeper and are accompanied my a mouthful of really thick saliva. There is no bile, there is really no shake that is coming back up and the pills are staying down. It's not even as if I am hawking a loogie, but it is definitely a mouthful of gummy saliva as if it's been pooling in my tummy all night. I would say by the fourth burp/retch, I have donated about 1/2 cup of this thick clear Fluid back to the sewer system and then I feel fine to continue on my day.
Of course, by this time, I've only had a few teaspoons of shake and I have no desire for any more. What in the world?
Let me tell you, this morning, it did NOT make for a pleasant drive to drop my kid off at school. Thank GAWD our neighbor was driving her own kid to school. That would have been a horrible thing for her to witness. I am sure the one teacher who saw me retching in the parking lot at school thought I was either pregnant or finishing off an all nighter. I think I need to start carrying a spit cup.
Thoughts?