I am still pre-op, but for those of you post-op, I'm wondering what it's like eating around other people? Ie, can they immediately tell that you have had surgery based on what you order and how much you eat?

I'm a pretty private person and haven't told anyone, including family, about the surgery. It's not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed, I just don't think most of my friends will understand as they are all thin or only slightly overweight. Plus, i think i just want to seem "normal". I may feel differently after I've had the surgery, but that's where I am right now. My surgery date is tentatively scheduled for October 17th, so I'm already thinking I need to bow out of thanksgiving as I will barely be on solid food then.

But, I am single and live alone, so I don't want to become some sort of recluse either! . It's not changing my thoughts on the surgery, I'm just trying to figure out how to process it. What has your experience been like?

I have kept my surgery private. I had mine done last Tuesday, the 21st. I went to lunch with my girlfriends yesterday & ordered the broth from tortilla soup. No one questioned me. If anyone does in the future, I will simply say I am watching what I eat. If someone is rude enough to keep questioning me after that, then I have no problem telling them I really dont have to explain myself any further. If they are your friends and care about you, the fact that you are changing the way you eat should be enough.

I am still pre-op' date=' but for those of you post-op, I'm wondering what it's like eating around other people? Ie, can they immediately tell that you have had surgery based on what you order and how much you eat?

I'm a pretty private person and haven't told anyone, including family, about the surgery. It's not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed, I just don't think most of my friends will understand as they are all thin or only slightly overweight. Plus, i think i just want to seem "normal". I may feel differently after I've had the surgery, but that's where I am right now. My surgery date is tentatively scheduled for October 17th, so I'm already thinking I need to bow out of thanksgiving as I will barely be on solid food then.

But, I am single and live alone, so I don't want to become some sort of recluse either! . It's not changing my thoughts on the surgery, I'm just trying to figure out how to process it. What has your experience been like?[/quote']

I am in sales and take clients out to lunch and dinner several times a week. No one even notices. For me I thought the hardest part would be the non drinking during the meal...but I pretend I drink if we toast to something. Lol. You will be fine.

It was weird at first. I din't tell people about my surgery, so I had a lot of weird looks when they saw my portions size. People gave me the "you know you eat way more than that" look lol!! Family and close friends that knew, just questioned me a lot and some will just urged me to eat a little more lol!

I also went through a phase where I got nauseous watching people eat.

I just order small portions. Eat slowww and then take the rest home. I order water but usually don't drink any of it but a sip

I got sleeved 4/1. Been out a few times with friends and none of them know I had the surgery. I just say I'm seeing a nutritionist and he put me on a diet which requires small portions. I also say that I had a small bite to eat before going out and I'm not very hungry. Sometimes I order a soup and ask for it to come with everyone's entree. Haven't been questioned much after those excuses.

I had no problem letting people in my life know what I was doing. For me it keeps them involved with me during the new life process. Now It isnt anything that I put ou there on the FB world....only close family and friends that I spend my life with.

I am still pre-op, but for those of you post-op, I'm wondering what it's like eating around other people? Ie, can they immediately tell that you have had surgery based on what you order and how much you eat?

I'm a pretty private person and haven't told anyone, including family, about the surgery. It's not that I'm embarrassed or ashamed, I just don't think most of my friends will understand as they are all thin or only slightly overweight. Plus, i think i just want to seem "normal". I may feel differently after I've had the surgery, but that's where I am right now. My surgery date is tentatively scheduled for October 17th, so I'm already thinking I need to bow out of thanksgiving as I will barely be on solid food then.

But, I am single and live alone, so I don't want to become some sort of recluse either! . It's not changing my thoughts on the surgery, I'm just trying to figure out how to process it. What has your experience been like?

People really do not pay attention to what or how much others are eating. Push the food around and visit. I've eaten out since I could only sip broth. Not a big deal. If you're not telling, you need to have a story ready when you start losing weight. I'd say "I'm on a doctor supervised diet" - which is the truth. For the most part.

Prior to surgery i worried about this a lot more than i should have. I have had lunch several times with co workers and no one notices how much or little I eat. They are too busy scarfing their own lunch down. I remember being worried people would notice by 15 pound weight loss after being off for two weeks post surgery. I quickly learned that 15 lbs off a starting weight of 270 meant I was still too fat for anyone to notice the difference

Everyone in my life (work, friends, family) know I have had surgery and have been extremely supportive. I too am in a field where taking people out to lunch or dinner is the norm. No one cares how much (or little) I eat because they know what's going on. I enjoy sharing whatever I order!

I can understand why it may cause concern (or even be shocking) to someone if they don't know why you're eating so little.

When in doubt, order whatever you want - knowing you'll take most of it home and make multiple meals out of it!

The only time it's really noriceable is the first few months after surgery.... I'm five months out now, and most people to be honest with you don't care about what you're eating - they're too involved with what THEYre eating

I have told almost everyone in my life...i feel it will save me time afterwards trying to explain people how I'm losing weight so quickly(fingers crossed)I'm getting to old to worry who will say what about what I'm eating.if someone has that much of a problem or can't handle that I don't want to shovel it down anymore then they can spend time with someone else.im doing this surgery for me.im doing this so I can live another 40 plus years..so I can date,go upstairs,wear normal sized clothes and travel on an airplane without a seat belt extender.the idea that I'm gonna be embarrassed or made to feel bad about eating small portions in front of other people is nuts.i played around with the idea of telling no one.its just not me.

I was still too fat for anyone to notice the difference

That's where I'm at. I've lost a lot more than 15 and no one has really noticed. A friend of mine said she did, but she's one of the few who know about the surgery so I don't know if she would have noticed without that knowledge.

I'm 3 1/2 wks post op and I'm supposed to participate in a food day on Thursday at work to Celebrate some birthdays. I was all worked up about how I'd survive it because my coworkers don't know why I was off work when I had surgery. I just remembered that I have to go to traffic court that day, so I'm gonna miss the luncheon anyway. It's a relief! I don't think I'm ready to eat in front of people who don't know about my surgery yet. Not just yet....

I've never been so glad to have to go to traffic court!

Thank you for all the responses....it helps! I can definitely use some of those ideas!

I've found that you get this heightened sense of how much everyone around you eats. It's scary, actually, to see these huge plates going by and think, 'I used to eat that.'

I have also found myself getting judgemental about that topic, which is terrible and negative and 'not like me.'

We went out to a Mongolian place for dinner the other night, the kind where you pick the type of food and they cook it right in front of you. I found it very easy to stay on track... A few shrimp, a few scallops, some thin beef and then fruit for dessert. But I saw plates upon plates of noodles, meat, etc. walking by, and I have to be honest that it turned my stomach a bit.

I told my friends, family and co-workers so they are not at all surprised when I order an appetizer and take half of it home. I also share. If I order a whole meal, I tell them to box up the sides and salad to take home for my husband. It really is true that most people could care less what other peoe eat or don't eat. Normal weight people sometimes only eat an appetizer. I did, before I got fat. Although we shed the weight quickly, we cannot shed the food obsession that fast. Just try to be as normal as you can and live your life. That is why you did all this, right?