Let me just open by saying, yes I effed up BIG TIME !! I have been on mostly liquids since surgery Tues May 14, even though my doctor approved me for soft/mushy foods. So at around 4am EST I had an intense food craving, and i new I wanted meat (I"m guessing my body was craving Protein, but I had already had around 60g of protein via shakes/Pro-Stat). So asked my husband to cook up a hot dog on the stove, which he reluctantly did. We ground it up with a knife (not pureed, mistake #2) and I began to nibble on it. To my astonishment I ate the entire thing, rather quickly!! The first thing I've finished since before surgery, I don't even get through a cup of Water in one sitting. I know I was eating from my head, not stomach.

Ever since, I've felt terrible!! First it felt as if the hot dog was just sort of sitting there between my esophagus and stomach. I've had incessant painful gurgling ever since. I tried drinking some water, without waiting the 30 mins, becuase it was my goal to wash it down and out of my system. Not much reliefe at all. I tried laying down, but at around 8:45am the discomfort and pain was unbearable. I wanted to vomit but my body didn't let me. I would get passing feelings of nausea, even down to the over-salivating, but still nothing. I contemplated sticking my finger in my throught (panic makes you think crazy things), but I didn't. I had a sort of pain in my chest, as if someone had been sitting on it. But now that pain has become more of a heartburn like feeling. I tried taking gas-x a few hours ago, then a Pepcide later on, and most recently a Calcium carbonate antacid, just before writing this. I only feel slightly relieved, very slightly. I also have slight stomach cramps (I'm sure this is from the combination of hot dog and all these funky drugs now in my tummy).

I feel awful and terribly nervous that i've destroyed my sleeve. I realize this may be a bit irrational, probably post-sleever's guilt, but still. I wil never EVER cheat again. Can someone just share if they've had a similar experience? Am I in real trouble? Will this discomfort pass on its own, or is there something I can take? Any advice (even verbal kicks in the butt) are all welcome, I just want to feel better and stay on the straight and narrow from here on out. Please help. Thanks so much for reading!

Just for future refernce...like when u move on in your stages you will want to be very careful about having one last bite...even at 7 months out every once in a while I will have one tiny bite too much...mostly if its something new I haven't had since surgery I get the crazy incomfortable feeling and it takes a lot of time for it to pass...walking helps sometimes but liquid makes it worse and gas x doesn't help...my stomach is simply too full. Move on and just try to be aware of ur body and new stomach. Everyone makes mistakes (we all put ourselves in the situation to be here in the first place) so don't let others make u feel worse than you do. Take this as a lesson and if u are like many of us that one time of discomfort, pain and worry will be enough to keep you on track

Mistysj: You stated in your response to her

"You absolutely can't put something in your mouth that is not on your plan, because when it is in there, all bets are off. You need to decide you will never tempt yourself like that, and that you will NEVER put your poor husband in the position where he is doing something for you that will harm you and could put you in the hospital. That poor man must be beside himself. You owe him a big apology.

Put your big girl pants on and learn from this. If you want something salty, have some broth."

Sorry to disagree with you but...

1. If all of us could "absolutely not put something in your mouth that's not on your plan" none of us would be here and wouldn't have needed surgery.

2. The statement "and that you will NEVER put your poor husband...." and the statement "you owe him a big apology" make me cringe. This is not being "supportive".

3. "Put your big girl panties on and learn from this"....what the heck is this? Support? Not in my world...

Your version of support is questionable at best. Look...remember what our mother's told us when we were kids..."if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all". I think you should consider that because to me...you're just mean.

I'm hopeful that you are feeling better by now and back on track. But really, you should definitely refocus your views on food. The tongue and the mind are very strong, but your dedication to yourself needs to be stronger! Hot dogs do not carry much nutritional value, so I would consider limiting them to almost never when you begin to introduce solids. Food should be viewed as fuel... nothing more. If you give your body the proper fuel, it will respond in a desirable fashion (e.g., weight loss, muscle gain). Please, I implore you, do not make food your social/emotional focus. If you, are will be fighting a losing battle. You've undergone a major surgery for a reason. I'm certain that reason is not to eat poorly, ultimately finding yourself right back where you started. I pray God's strength replace your weakness! And that you find yourself successful in the venture... beautiful and happy!

Oh man..don't tell my boyfriend this!

I told my husband it wasn't on my plan. Haha

He rationalized to himself that he would chew it and savor the flavor, then spit it out. He really meant to spit it out.

I just wanted to add - to anyone who may need to hear it - chewing food and spitting it back out is NOT a solution to an eating disorder. It IS an eating disorder. Anorexics and Bulimics do this allll the time, it's part of their illness, and I would not encourage anyone to ever try this tactic, even in your most desperate hour.

I understand that we are all food addicts, to varying degrees. But please, don't start any new behaviors that are unhealthy in attempt to rid yourself of other unhealthy behaviors. We all need to get better - not find new ways to 'cheat'.

I've realize from reading posts like this that been fortunate - VERY fortunate - that so far, nothing has tempted me like that. I'm 3 wks post op and right on track with my diet and feeling satisfied. I attribute that to being single and living alone, so I don't have to sit at the table and watch the family eat something delicious. I also attribute this to being proactive and finding ways to make these stages more delicious! Ricotta bake, mini quiches, Protein pudding... I have lots of delicious options available, so I'm not feeling deprived.

That said, UPDATE US, Jeffie! Is all well?

Jeffie, how are you?

Hi everyone! First, I apologize for taking so long to reply, I am FINE!! Doing great, actually. I had a very busy week following the post, I followed up with my surgeon, the pscyh and nut at my surgeon's office (twice, lol) and then almost immediately after that returned to work. After this incident, I really was concerned and had it in my head that i had some sort of undiagnosed eating disorder. My psych told me to post, and I quote, "Yes. Obesity is an eating disorder. Everyone on that thread is suffering from the same chronic illness. And none of them are in a position to diagnose you further." She literally emailed it to me to cut and paste for all of us who will struggle and make mistakes, even ones as epic as mine, and learn the lesson. My nut told me it was a flat out silly choice, the turkey dog, primarily because I was rewarding my good progress by moving myself ahead 2 steps. She even said, had I pureed the turkey dog with broth and had a sip, that would have been fine. Ground up and not moist is ultimately where I went wrong, and I completely owned that. I still do. That was the reason for my deep worry and near depression. I am all about accountability. I have been on the complete straight and narrow path after that, I went back to work and am doing great.

Not sure who said it, but someone said I should not be feeling hungry. According to my nut, once the swelling goes down, hunger is COMPLETELY normal. The gherlin will eventually subside to normal (non-obese) levels, but in the meantime, we are to learn what real hunger is, and I'm doing that. I believe I was hungry that night. But I did not need a turkey dog. And shouldnt have had one, period! Broth, Protein shake, pureed tuna, oatmeal, any of those would have been a better choice to sate my real hunger. I was NOT eating because of a food addiction, but I did make a poor choice as a result of my obesity. I am NOT letting that disorder run my life anymore. I make conscious choices, I never forget the hell I went through that night. I baby my pouch (as someone on this thread cleverly said, possibly the same person?) and I am re-learning my body. I think we all are.

This thread has really shown me how supportive and awesome complete strangers can be. I want to thank each and every one of you for understanding and showing your concern and support with such kindness and (some of you) sternness. Sure, i dont care to be told to "put my big girl panties on" when I think having the courage to have a major surgery and put myself out there when I've made a HUGE err in judgement IS putting my big girl panties on. I'm of the belief big girls make mistakes too. BUT i also understand that was said to wake me up, and I appreciate the tough love all the same. You could have said nothing, but you chose to stop and comment and healthily contribute, and that is awesome!! You are all pretty amazing in your own way for helping me here, I've friended a few of you, and help to friend even more!! Thank you so so much!! Heres to us all learnig the hard lessons the first time

How is everyone else doing?

Hi everyone! First' date=' I apologize for taking so long to reply, I am FINE!! Doing great, actually. I had a very busy week following the post, I followed up with my surgeon, the pscyh and nut at my surgeon's office (twice, lol) and then almost immediately after that returned to work. After this incident, I really was concerned and had it in my head that i had some sort of undiagnosed eating disorder. My psych told me to post, and I quote, "Yes. Obesity is an eating disorder. Everyone on that thread is suffering from the same chronic illness. And none of them are in a position to diagnose you further." She literally emailed it to me to cut and paste for all of us who will struggle and make mistakes, even ones as epic as mine, and learn the lesson. My nut told me it was a flat out silly choice, the turkey dog, primarily because I was rewarding my good progress by moving myself ahead 2 steps. She even said, had I pureed the turkey dog with broth and had a sip, that would have been fine. Ground up and not moist is ultimately where I went wrong, and I completely owned that. I still do. That was the reason for my deep worry and near depression. I am all about accountability. I have been on the complete straight and narrow path after that, I went back to work and am doing great.

Not sure who said it, but someone said I should not be feeling hungry. According to my nut, once the swelling goes down, hunger is COMPLETELY normal. The gherlin will eventually subside to normal (non-obese) levels, but in the meantime, we are to learn what real hunger is, and I'm doing that. I believe I was hungry that night. But I did not need a turkey dog. And shouldnt have had one, period! Broth, Protein shake, pureed tuna, oatmeal, any of those would have been a better choice to sate my real hunger. I was NOT eating because of a food addiction, but I did make a poor choice as a result of my obesity. I am NOT letting that disorder run my life anymore. I make conscious choices, I never forget the hell I went through that night. I baby my pouch (as someone on this thread cleverly said, possibly the same person?) and I am re-learning my body. I think we all are.

This thread has really shown me how supportive and awesome complete strangers can be. I want to thank each and every one of you for understanding and showing your concern and support with such kindness and (some of you) sternness. Sure, i dont care to be told to "put my big girl panties on" when I think having the courage to have a major surgery and put myself out there when I've made a HUGE err in judgement IS putting my big girl panties on. I'm of the belief big girls make mistakes too. BUT i also understand that was said to wake me up, and I appreciate the tough love all the same. You could have said nothing, but you chose to stop and comment and healthily contribute, and that is awesome!! You are all pretty amazing in your own way for helping me here, I've friended a few of you, and help to friend even more!! Thank you so so much!! Heres to us all learnig the hard lessons the first time

How is everyone else doing?[/quote']

Glad your doing so well! And I love what not only your physiologist said but also what your nut said about hunger. Good stuff right there.

I just want to say that you handled the criticism/feedback very well. It takes courage to come on here and admit to what happened. Hope all is well!

It will go away. Sip on ice water. Don't do it again!

I'm glad you are doing well and I apologize for the tone of my comments. I was really just very worried that you had hurt yourself. Thank you for following up and what your nutritionist sent you is perfect advice for me to listen to as well.

My psych told me to post, and I quote, "Yes. Obesity is an eating disorder. Everyone on that thread is suffering from the same chronic illness. And none of them are in a position to diagnose you further." She literally emailed it to me to cut and paste for all of us who will struggle and make mistakes

I LOVE this quote from your psych! This is one of the things I have learned and the reason I am always mentioning that therapy is a huge help on our weight loss journey. I truly believe that we cannot be mentally healthy after WLS without some time spent dealing with the issues that made us obese, whatever they may be... and it's not all about the food. We've allowed food to have a much larger place in our lives than it ever should have occupied and it's a huge mental shift to put food into the "food is fuel" place that t-dog mentioned earlier. Many of us are just as addicted to food as an alcoholic or drug addict is to their poison of choice. I'm really happy to see that you have recovered without permanent damage and that you are moving forward in a positive manner.

I LOVE this quote from your psych! This is one of the things I have learned and the reason I am always mentioning that therapy is a huge help on our weight loss journey. I truly believe that we cannot be mentally healthy after WLS without some time spent dealing with the issues that made us obese, whatever they may be... and it's not all about the food. We've allowed food to have a much larger place in our lives than it ever should have occupied and it's a huge mental shift to put food into the "food is fuel" place that t-dog mentioned earlier. Many of us are just as addicted to food as an alcoholic or drug addict is to their poison of choice. I'm really happy to see that you have recovered without permanent damage and that you are moving forward in a positive manner.

Lissa I agree absolutely! That's one of the reasons I love my surgeon (Dr. Holover at New York Bariatric Group) because phsych evals are required for you to even be considered for surgery, as are pre and post op follow-ups. I think many people with a chronic illness, particularly ones that manifest as visibly as obesity does, tend to feel a sense of shame or reluctance to talk about our problem. We've been shamed by society and by others we know, shamed by our own prior failures. I would not have gone by choice to start seeking therapy and emotional help for precisely that reason. I think my surgeon and his group are extremely responsible for mandating it. I have someone I can turn to now when I need help maneuvering this new "tool". Otherwise, the tool will fail me as it has failed others. Revision surgeries are on the rise. And I don't mean revisions as a result of lap bands not working or slipping or surgical shortcomings. I mean people who couldnt change their habits quickly or consistently enough and risked serious harm by stretching out their stomachs again or causing damage to their bands. I think therapy can be a HUGE deterrent in this sort of behavior, and help us all succeed who are brave enough to embark on this lifesaving journey.

My psych helped me keep things in perspective when I was literally too busy kicking myself in the ass and freaking out. I adore her, and implore everyone (despite how worry-free your recovery) to find a professional with whom you can speak if the occasion arises. Thank you all again for all your kindness and support!! I'm really happy I had you guys to help "talk" me through it before and during my follow-ups!!

Stay tuned, bc now I'm facing all kinds of other issues/questions, which I'll be posting about separately. Hope to see you all there, as well! lol (Don't worry, I'm fine, they are nothing like this topic lol)

@lissa thank you so much for your stern advice and no' date=' I am no troll. I am real person who made a really stupid mistake and is suffering for it. That's why your reply really means so much to me. I will absolutley be doing nothing but liquids for the next few days at least. And will watch my symptoms closely. Do you have any similar experience you can share, or any idea what I coud take/do now to alleviate symptoms? I feel awful about this and am eager to fix it and get back on track pronto![/quote']

Hey we make mistakes and we learn from them. Jump back in the saddle and lesson learned.

Let me just open by saying' date=' yes I effed up BIG TIME !! I have been on mostly liquids since surgery Tues May 14, even though my doctor approved me for soft/mushy foods. So at around 4am EST I had an intense food craving, and i new I wanted meat (I"m guessing my body was craving Protein, but I had already had around 60g of protein via shakes/Pro-Stat). So asked my husband to cook up a hot dog on the stove, which he reluctantly did. We ground it up with a knife (not pureed, mistake #2) and I began to nibble on it. To my astonishment I ate the entire thing, rather quickly!! The first thing I've finished since before surgery, I don't even get through a cup of Water in one sitting. I know I was eating from my head, not stomach.

Ever since, I've felt terrible!! First it felt as if the hot dog was just sort of sitting there between my esophagus and stomach. I've had incessant painful gurgling ever since. I tried drinking some water, without waiting the 30 mins, becuase it was my goal to wash it down and out of my system. Not much reliefe at all. I tried laying down, but at around 8:45am the discomfort and pain was unbearable. I wanted to vomit but my body didn't let me. I would get passing feelings of nausea, even down to the over-salivating, but still nothing. I contemplated sticking my finger in my throught (panic makes you think crazy things), but I didn't. I had a sort of pain in my chest, as if someone had been sitting on it. But now that pain has become more of a heartburn like feeling. I tried taking gas-x a few hours ago, then a Pepcide later on, and most recently a Calcium carbonate antacid, just before writing this. I only feel slightly relieved, very slightly. I also have slight stomach cramps (I'm sure this is from the combination of hot dog and all these funky drugs now in my tummy).

I feel awful and terribly nervous that i've destroyed my sleeve. I realize this may be a bit irrational, probably post-sleever's guilt, but still. I wil never EVER cheat again. Can someone just share if they've had a similar experience? Am I in real trouble? Will this discomfort pass on its own, or is there something I can take? Any advice (even verbal kicks in the butt) are all welcome, I just want to feel better and stay on the straight and narrow from here on out. Please help. Thanks so much for reading![/quote']

You need to pace yourself if you continue to eat solid food so soon out trust me you will regret it every time. I tried a bite of pizza three weeks out i thought my stomach was going to explode. It wasn't until two months out that i was able to tolerate solid foods and very little of that. I would eat chilli from wendys.