I have planned mine out many times over the last few weeks and with surgery coming up three weeks from tomorrow and the pre-op liquid diet starting two weeks from tomorrow, I've finally decided what I am going to do.

I'm not having one. Why? Because I know that eventually (within 6 months or so!), I will be able to eat anything I want, I will just do so in moderation. (Imagine that concept!) I don't want to mourn the loss of any food, because it's not going away, I am just going to be limited in quantity. I have had more food in my 41 years than I should have consumed in a lifetime and I really see no need to mourn something that isn't dead and more importantly, has done nothing but made me unhealthy because I've allowed it to take control of me.

I want to be the one to make the decision to stop eating so much and to start being healthy, I do not want my surgeon to decide for me. For many people, once they go under, the decision is being made for them by the surgeon who is doing the cutting. Because they are no longer able to eat in mass quantity, they don't. Up until yesterday, that was going to be me. Yes, I've been doing one shake a day and high protein/low carb/under 1000cal for the last week and have lost 10.8 pounds to show for it. In the back of my mind, though, I was looking forward to having a smorgasbord of good stuff a few days before my diet started. I've looked at a million pins on Pinterest and gotten sad that I will never eat that or make that. I've been hyper-aware of all the new restaurants that are opening in my area, studying the menus, trying to figure out what I can have ONE LAST TIME. How ridiculous!

I don't want my surgeon to steal MY power, I want it to be MY decision. I decided Wednesday of last week that I would start prepping myself for the pre-op diet and yesterday I decided to stick to it right up till my surgery date. I decided to cut back on my favorite - Coke Zero - and have only one every few days. No more. I've not had one since Friday and I've lived!

Yesterday I completed all my pre-op blood work, xrays, tests, doctor visits, and signed off on all the papers. I also did all the pre-registration. The surgeon asked me if I was ready to make all the changes starting post-op that were necessary for my success and that really hit me. I told him I was not. I was ready to start right now.

I decided that I am in control of my body NOW because God knows I will not be in control of it for the weeks immediately following my procedure because at that point, I will be forced to do it.

I am the boss of me. Starting TODAY. Good Lord, I think it finally clicked and I cannot wait to start my new life. Oh, wait. I already did.

**EDIT TO ADD. I have no idea why this post is shaded or sized this way. HA! I made it bigger so it's readable.WEIRD!!!**

I did say that. I also stated that I am ready to take control and have done so. I've given up my NEED for food and realized that it's not the *important* thing in my day and I am happy with that decision. My past is my past, can't change that. I am looking forward to my future. I'm sorry that you can't understand that or that you are choosing not to.

Devils advocate here....

All of us need to have help with this professionally because we all know what to do.

Hell we are experts at it! But knowing and doing don't always come together that easily for us that are "food addicts" right?

I don't think Aussie means it as an insult its just part of the hard road ahead.

The one thing I know for sure?

It's that this surgery is not a miracle

Yup, you are right. But it's still bizarre to me to be singled out on, what to me, was such a positive post, only to have it twisted around to being told I need professional help by someone who knows nothing about me.

It's all good. Other people's opinions about me stopped bothering me a long long time ago. THANK GOODNESS!

Well then good luck, with that attitude you don't need to be sleeved.

Well then good luck, with that attitude you don't need to be sleeved.

Ok! I'll be certain to take your opinion into consideration.

Yup' date=' you are right. But it's still bizarre to me to be singled out on, what to me, was such a positive post, only to have it twisted around to being told I need professional help by someone who knows nothing about me.

It's all good. Other people's opinions about me stopped bothering me a long long time ago. THANK GOODNESS![/quote']

Lipstick lady you will do great and we are all here to lean on. I'm not going to lie the temptation is super hard but there are three sayings I say to myself everyday

-Nothing taste as good as skinny feels

-a minute on the lips is a lifetime on the hips

-I know what it taste like and one day when I've proven myself ill taste it again (yes in moderation)

I have not broken my diet yet but many ppl that I have talked to said their fav foods don't taste the same after eatting healthy for 6 months

Thank you for your support! I really do look to this board for support and guidance and I love all the positivity that lives here!

Also aussie's bluntness is also another lesson to be learned ... Ppl in our daily lives have become so accustomed to us being the "fat" friend it's a eye opener when we start getting into their group ... Some won't like it very much

I'm not too worried about that, quite honestly. The doctors found a lemon sized brain tumor in my noggin almost four years ago. It was then that I found out who my friends were, I figured out who made me more unhappy than happy and I eliminated anyone who caused me unwanted stress without looking back. It was also during that very scary time that I decided that I would NEVER EVER let someone else's opinion matter to me unless THEY mattered to me.

I am SO MUCH HAPPIER now. I dare say that lemon was the best thing that every happened to me.

I'm not too worried about that' date=' quite honestly. The doctors found a lemon sized brain tumor in my noggin almost four years ago. It was then that I found out who my friends were, I figured out who made me more unhappy than happy and I eliminated anyone who caused me unwanted stress without looking back. It was also during that very scary time that I decided that I would NEVER EVER let someone else's opinion matter to me unless THEY mattered to me.

I am SO MUCH HAPPIER now. I dare say that lemon was the best thing that every happened to me.[/quote']

Awesome !!! If you've concerned that then girl this will be a breeze

Also aussie's bluntness is also another lesson to be learned ... Ppl in our daily lives have become so accustomed to us being the "fat" friend it's a eye opener when we start getting into their group ... Some won't like it very much

Everyone on here has been "the fat friend". What people on here don't like is Newbies, who haven't been sleeved yet, acting like they know it all. I was sleeved 6 months ago and I still don't know it all. I can admit that with no hesitation at all. Lipstick thinks she knows it all and I admit that she is an expert at being fat, as we all were, but being sleeved is not an easy journey and she has no idea about that.

Everyone on here has been "the fat friend". What people on here don't like is Newbies, who haven't been sleeved yet, acting like they know it all. I was sleeved 6 months ago and I still don't know it all. I can admit that with no hesitation at all. Lipstick thinks she knows it all and I admit that she is an expert at being fat, as we all were, but being sleeved is not an easy journey and she has no idea about that.

There are a lot of things I don't know. I have no idea where you got the idea that I think I do. I am an expert on very few things, this surgery is not one of them but where I am mentally in this process is.

I do know that I've been reading these forums for over a year. I do know that many of your posts are extremely negative and quite frankly, you seem to be rather unhappy. (I hope I am wrong about that!). I do know that your negativity towards me will not affect me in any way and I do know that I will not allow your bullying to stop me from posting, learning, celebrating, and venting nor will it stop me from being a member of this community.

I wish you well.

Wow! went back and reread what LipstickLady wrote and not one word spoke to me as her acting like she knows it all. It was a post of thought, process and conclusion. Her own feelings and thoughts. She was clear on that. She also stated she was sure there would be difficult times and challenges.

Not sure why AussieLady is accusing her of being a newbie who thinks she knows it all to the point of telling her she needs therapy.

How about letting folks post their thoughts and feeling without judging and making declarations on what they need and don't need?

I read her post as very positive and going into this journey with her eyes wide open and doing her best to take control of her journey. If that is wrong, I sure don't want to be right.

You will do great LipstickLady, and I was able to see the positive mindset in your post. I thought it very uplifting and inspiring.

Wow! went back and reread what LipstickLady wrote and not one word spoke to me as her acting like she knows it all. It was a post of thought, process and conclusion. Her own feelings and thoughts. She was clear on that. She also stated she was sure there would be difficult times and challenges.

Not sure why AussieLady is accusing her of being a newbie who thinks she knows it all to the point of telling her she needs therapy.

How about letting folks post their thoughts and feeling without judging and making declarations on what they need and don't need?

I read her post as very positive and going into this journey with her eyes wide open and doing her best to take control of her journey. If that is wrong, I sure don't want to be right.

You will do great LipstickLady, and I was able to see the positive mindset in your post. I thought it very uplifting and inspiring.

Thank you very much. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your kind words and your understanding of my long ramble of thoughts as I approach the reality of what I am getting myself into. You're a peach!

All very noble but since I wasn't given a pre op diet' date=' I ate like a complete frigging maniac. There was less than 3 weeks between my initial consultation and my surgery during which I gained 10 lbs. Not the healthiest choice but it certainly was memorable.[/quote']

Oh man. This is totally me right now!! I'm supposed to be doing a pre op but I'm eating like I'm getting ready for hibernation! I've gained 7 lbs already... supposed to start liquid diet next week... someone help...stop the madness....

Are you journaling with an app like My Fitness Pal? I am a bit obsessive compulsive so notating everything I eat and drink helps a lot. You can put it on your phone, iPad, computer... I added a ton of like minded friends so we can watch each other, too. It's much harder to eat when the world is watching for me. Also, we have decided to hold each other accountable and I can't do that if I am not holding myself accountable.

If you are doing MFP, inbox me your user name. I am happy to give you a kick in the rear as long as you do the same in return.