The beloved "Food Funeral".

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I have planned mine out many times over the last few weeks and with surgery coming up three weeks from tomorrow and the pre-op liquid diet starting two weeks from tomorrow, I've finally decided what I am going to do.

I'm not having one. Why? Because I know that eventually (within 6 months or so!), I will be able to eat anything I want, I will just do so in moderation. (Imagine that concept!) I don't want to mourn the loss of any food, because it's not going away, I am just going to be limited in quantity. I have had more food in my 41 years than I should have consumed in a lifetime and I really see no need to mourn something that isn't dead and more importantly, has done nothing but made me unhealthy because I've allowed it to take control of me.

I want to be the one to make the decision to stop eating so much and to start being healthy, I do not want my surgeon to decide for me. For many people, once they go under, the decision is being made for them by the surgeon who is doing the cutting. Because they are no longer able to eat in mass quantity, they don't. Up until yesterday, that was going to be me. Yes, I've been doing one shake a day and high protein/low carb/under 1000cal for the last week and have lost 10.8 pounds to show for it. In the back of my mind, though, I was looking forward to having a smorgasbord of good stuff a few days before my diet started. I've looked at a million pins on Pinterest and gotten sad that I will never eat that or make that. I've been hyper-aware of all the new restaurants that are opening in my area, studying the menus, trying to figure out what I can have ONE LAST TIME. How ridiculous!

I don't want my surgeon to steal MY power, I want it to be MY decision. I decided Wednesday of last week that I would start prepping myself for the pre-op diet and yesterday I decided to stick to it right up till my surgery date. I decided to cut back on my favorite - Coke Zero - and have only one every few days. No more. I've not had one since Friday and I've lived!

Yesterday I completed all my pre-op blood work, xrays, tests, doctor visits, and signed off on all the papers. I also did all the pre-registration. The surgeon asked me if I was ready to make all the changes starting post-op that were necessary for my success and that really hit me. I told him I was not. I was ready to start right now.

I decided that I am in control of my body NOW because God knows I will not be in control of it for the weeks immediately following my procedure because at that point, I will be forced to do it.

I am the boss of me. Starting TODAY. Good Lord, I think it finally clicked and I cannot wait to start my new life. Oh, wait. I already did.

**EDIT TO ADD. I have no idea why this post is shaded or sized this way. HA! I made it bigger so it's readable.WEIRD!!!**

[JeffNNJ 111]

All very noble but since I wasn't given a pre op diet, I ate like a complete frigging maniac. There was less than 3 weeks between my initial consultation and my surgery during which I gained 10 lbs. Not the healthiest choice but it certainly was memorable.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Not trying to be noble at all. I was just verbally vomiting all the thoughts and feeling that are rushing through me right now. I have no doubt I will have weak moments and pangs of regret, but I really regret what I've done to myself over the years MORE.

[BayouGal85 16]

I personally ate my bootie off!!!! For me it was the only time I could honestly guilt free eat what I wanted and how much I wanted. I now have the frame of mind that Humm ill eat it again some day so it's no big deal. Also my last and final binge reminded me of how much I could and would eat on a normal basis. It was my final confirmation that this was my only option to save my life.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I've never been able to able to eat guilt free. Sigh.

[BayouGal85 16]

I was only able to because I knew I was going to have the surgery and I would then be able to control my urges

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Ahhhh... I guess I need to learn to control my urges FIRST so that I don't undo everything the surgery will be doing for me.

[AussieLady 521]

I think you both really need to talk to a professional before you have this surgery. You both seem to really have the wrong perception about what you are about to do.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Who me?

[AussieLady 521]

Who me?

Yes, you and BayouGal85.

[BayouGal85 16]

Absolutely, you know your body the best.

[newat52 1,612]

First of all~ THANK YOU for the larger font, it makes it much easier for us in the over 50 crowd!

Second~ I know you were not trying to be noble, I felt exactly the same way and I knew this was going to be different than any other of the million and ten diets I had done before so I didn't want make the same mistakes as a million and ten time previously if that makes sense.

The only thing I had a "one last" of is my beloved frozen margarita as I had decided to give those up forever. Probably one of the best things I could do for my health considering a small one weighs in at over 600 calories and more processed sugar than you can shake a stick at.

I am 7 weeks out today and life is returning to normal. I am off all dietary restrictions and while the hard work really starts now it's been good. I want to make great choices but I also want to have a normal life. I am introducing new foods every day, slowly to see what works. I'm in no hurry because I know that within a few months there won't be anything I can't have, I will just have way less and I know I will be just as happy.

I applaud you on your decision to take control. That was exactly how I needed to look at it. Someone in another thread about long term success. My reply was "my long term success is up to me, and me alone." I believe that to be true. I have a powerful tool, not a magic wand.

Best of luck to you. You will do great!

[BayouGal85 16]

Aussie I was sleeved on 3-19-13 & couldn't be happier with my decision

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Yes, you and BayouGal85.

Why do you think I need to seek a professional first? Where is my thinking off base?

[nsquared 232]

Good for you LipstickLady! I was sleeved in February and I did not have a food funeral either. It was not a deliberate decision, I just didn't feel the need for one and I have never regretted that.

Best of luck to you during pre-op diet, surgery and beyond. I am sure you will do great with your new tool