People acting differently?

[Takingcontrol 467]

Have you noticed people acting differently to you as your losing weight? For example, men are speaking to me on stores & opening/holding doors for me. Strangers start conversations with me in waiting rooms! Very seldom did these things happen before my weight loss, & certainly not consistently! Why now? I'm still the same person?? Kinda ticks me off!! :-/

[makemyownluck 785]

I noticed that those interactions dried up the more weight I put on. I'm looking forward to getting those lost interactions back as I lose more weight.

It wouldn't tick me off when it's strangers. But I'm already wondering about a few SNAKES around my office and how they'll be allll in my business when they start seeing me lose. It'll be interesting to see how people I know react to the smaller me!

[Kapu 16]

It is sad, but true ...... People in general seem to treat thin people better than they treat overweight people.

That's my perception anyway

[KBT 35]

Yes, it happens ALL the time and I have found myself looking around to see who they are talking to when I realize its me! What??????? I work in the Dept of Defense where there are plenty of middle aged men hanging about that never noticed me before. I'm 52. I've also noticed my husband noticing men talking to me at the gym and other places too and getting a wee bit jealous. We've been married 32 years so no jealousy is needed. He's not mad at me about anything but keeps telling me to be careful of these men that want to "talk" to me.

[rdt210 82]

I've often thought about this... and I wonder if it's the change in us that makes it seem like people around us are treating us differently. I'm a firm believer in whatever you put out to the world is what you're going to get back. Even at my heaviest I looked the world in the face (didn't walk with my head down trying to be invisible) - always had men holding doors for me, would get a smile back from someone if I sent one their way (male or female), and would chat with whoever was standing next to me in line. I just think if you act like a shrinking violet, that is how you'll be treated. With new-found confidence we may take more chances and open up more - and the world will treat you accordingly.

Just my little two cents...

[enigmachik 403]

Yes, I've noticed and it bothers me too. It amazes me how fat people are treated like they're invisible. I am still the same person. If I'm worth a hello or a held door now, I was worth it 75 lbs ago too.

[Andi 78]

I've noticed people talking to me more while I'm out for a walk.. I kinda ignored someone by accident the other day because when I hear "oh hey!" I usually assume that they're not speaking to me. I used to feel like a ghost. It was either like people could see me, but it was better than getting stared at.. what was I doing, eating, etc.

There were always a few that were polite. I am a shy person at first. I think I might also have a bit of a unintentional "back off" look that I give. That can happen when defensive walls have been up for a long time I guess. I still have a long ways to go. Hopefully I can work on things like that during the process.

[enigmachik 403]

I've often thought about this... and I wonder if it's the change in us that makes it seem like people around us are treating us differently. I'm a firm believer in whatever you put out to the world is what you're going to get back. Even at my heaviest I looked the world in the face (didn't walk with my head down trying to be invisible) - always had men holding doors for me, would get a smile back from someone if I sent one their way (male or female), and would chat with whoever was standing next to me in line. I just think if you act like a shrinking violet, that is how you'll be treated. With new-found confidence we may take more chances and open up more - and the world will treat you accordingly.

Just my little two cents...

Perhaps there is some truth to that if you never were a shrinking violet, but I am the type of person that always tries not to be noticed. You can see that I don't even have my real pic on here. I am a wallflower. As a bigger person, I tried not to be noticed and I never was noticed. Now as a smaller person, I STILL always try not to be noticed. I have not gotten some new-found confidence. I don't stand taller. I don't act any different than I used to. And guess what? I get noticed ALL the time now. I get spoken to, smiled at, doors held open for me etc...I'm telling you, my behavior has not changed. The only thing that changed is my physical appearance. It's disconcerting to me that suddenly I am worth the extra attention that I wasn't worth before.

[bethxxx 304]

Yes I've noticed and it's amazing. I look at it like this, there are two possibilities. First I am so much more confident now that I've lost the weight that people are more drawn to talk to me, or that I am more attractive now so people want to talk to me. And either way that's awesome to me. I have men stare at me, shop assistants talk to me when I'm buying clothes, people start conversations with me. I haven't got this much attention since school!!

It doesn't tick me off because it makes me feel good about myself

[Takingcontrol 467]

I've often thought about this... and I wonder if it's the change in us that makes it seem like people around us are treating us differently. I'm a firm believer in whatever you put out to the world is what you're going to get back. Even at my heaviest I looked the world in the face (didn't walk with my head down trying to be invisible) - always had men holding doors for me, would get a smile back from someone if I sent one their way (male or female), and would chat with whoever was standing next to me in line. I just think if you act like a shrinking violet, that is how you'll be treated. With new-found confidence we may take more chances and open up more - and the world will treat you accordingly.

Just my little two cents...

I have given a lot of thought about this & wondered the same thing...but I agree with egnimachick....I haven't changed! It seems like you always got attention....so you haven't changed either. & I do NOT find it "awesome". Yes, it is nice receiving compliments....but if they only want to speak to me or be nice because I'm smaller...then their too shallow & I don't need their attention! Maybe I'm just being hormonal!! :-/

[bethxxx 304]

I have given a lot of thought about this & wondered the same thing...but I agree with egnimachick....I haven't changed! It seems like you always got attention....so you haven't changed either. & I do NOT find it "awesome". Yes' date=' it is nice receiving compliments....but if they only want to speak to me or be nice because I'm smaller...then their too shallow & I don't need their attention! Maybe I'm just being hormonal!! :-/[/quote']

Yes it is shallow but I choose to look at the positive. I have a whole new life and I can forget about the old fat me!

[ShrinkingBiker 121]

I've often thought about this... and I wonder if it's the change in us that makes it seem like people around us are treating us differently. I'm a firm believer in whatever you put out to the world is what you're going to get back. Even at my heaviest I looked the world in the face (didn't walk with my head down trying to be invisible) - always had men holding doors for me, would get a smile back from someone if I sent one their way (male or female), and would chat with whoever was standing next to me in line. I just think if you act like a shrinking violet, that is how you'll be treated. With new-found confidence we may take more chances and open up more - and the world will treat you accordingly.

Just my little two cents...

I think you hit the nail on the head there.. I know my vibe has changed since surgery and weight loss.

[Takingcontrol 467]

Yes it is shallow but I choose to look at the positive. I have a whole new life and I can forget about the old fat me!

You may be right...but I just think what about the people who are still big that are being dissed...not fair!

[MrsG 329]

IMHO I think a lot of it is how you carry yourself. I have always been an outgoing person, I love people. I'm a pretty confident person, usually always happy and have a smile on my face. Its been my experience that people like that confidence factor, they are drawn to it, heck, I met my husband at my 350lbs! Ive never let my weight hold me back from anything. If ppl like me great! And if they don't...well their loss. I like who I am, overweight or not. I do my hair and makeup everyday and take care in how i look. I don't say all that to sound stuck on myself, but I've been overweight my whole life and I just accepted that a long time ago. It was only because my health was deteriorating, with high bp, sleep apnea and diabetes lurking in the shadows and I was sick of it. I researched this surgery a long time before I got it and I'm happy that I did.

Some ppl that I have known or have observed that are overweight have a kind of stand offish aura about them. Almost like they put it out there with their body language or facial expressions that they are not happy about their size or they just look uncomfortable being around people. My heart goes out to ppl like that. I know there are ppl out there that are just mean and just don't like fat ppl or we disgust them. Thats too sad because they are missing out on getting to know some nice ppl. I just wonder how many skinny ppl who lack self confidence don't experience the same feelings of being ignored and heavier ppl just automatically assume it is because they are overweight? Just food for thought.

I did notice the other day though that I was being checked out at the gym by a couple of guys and that made me smile, didnt mention that to my husband tho!