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how to deal with "non-supporters"



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I just booked a space at a weight loss seminar for april 18 (im very excited). I mentioned this to my bff and she basically attacked me. She started saying how i dont need it and im only doing it to improve my looks ( which is way off base) and that i havent been dieting seriously. and i have. true i do not have any other comorbidities but i have many reasons why i want to do this which im sure you all could understand. she starts saying how im gonna have so much recovery time and im gonna have to do this this and this. How do you deal when someone is totally unsupportive of your decision? She thinks she knows everything about the world. should i just cut her out of the loop of this decision?

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She shouldn't be part of this decision. This is something for you & only you to decide. She might have been a little shocked at first, and might be ready to actually hear you out in a little bit. Then you can try to explain to her the reason for your decision, what you've been doing to prepare yourself .. maybe she'll even be up for attending the seminar with you to get some info to get her mind more at ease.

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She's worried about you changing. I have a strong personality so I think someone might be intimidated to say something like that to me, although I'm sure they think it. I have no comorbidities and have about 75-80 lbs to lose. I do want to look better, feel better, walk better, exercise better. I have many reasons for doing this and they are all my own. I own them and no one can tell me that my reasons aren't good enough because they are MINE! Obviously if all my doctors have approved me I am a candidate. If she's that uncomfortable I would keep her out of the loop. After you've had this done and she see's how good you feel about yourself, she'll understand.

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I agree with Andi in that it's your decision and yours alone. I myself have lost all support from friends and most of my family except for my mom and sister. My so called friends and family think I took the easy way out and everyday before I had the surgery, I was reminded that I was taking the easy road. I am 3 weeks post-op and I must say that this is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Easy doesn't come close to what I've had to deal with the last 3 weeks. I sometimes feel alone with this journey and sometimes it feels like my doctors and his staff are my only friends who really understand why I got this surgery. So I understand where you are coming from. The best thing to do is ignore negativity and do what you feel is right for you. The best thing I did was join this forum because I feel surrounded by people who truly understand. I hope it all works out for you and good luck in your journey :);)

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She shouldn't be a part of your decision anyway. I would be firm and tell her this is your decision and hopefully she will still love you as a thinner. Don't make it confrontational, just a firm matter of fact conversation. Good luck!

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I had a friend that told me i was selfish, I was taken the easy way out, so I stopped meeting her for coffee & chats told her I wont & don't do negativity, I was put on the milk diet she laughed & said you will crumble, this week I met her the first time in almost 11 weeks her face fell she was shocked not alone did I do the diet but you can see the weight loss that night she rang me to say I was an inspiration as she COULD NOT DO THE MILK DIET FOR 1 WEEK, your friend needs to see your serious and her negativity isn't welcome, good luck on your journey x

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I had a friend that told me i was selfish, I was taken the easy way out, so I stopped meeting her for coffee & chats told her I wont & don't do negativity, I was put on the milk diet she laughed & said you will crumble, this week I met her the first time in almost 11 weeks her face fell she was shocked not alone did I do the diet but you can see the weight loss that night she rang me to say I was an inspiration as she COULD NOT DO THE MILK DIET FOR 1 WEEK, your friend needs to see your serious and her negativity isn't welcome, good luck on your journey x

What does the milk diet consist of?

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I sometimes feel alone with this journey and sometimes it feels like my doctors and his staff are my only friends who really understand why I got this surgery.

You're not alone, none of us are. We may be strangers, but we all have each other, and WE understand! :)

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If she was a true friend she would not act like a b***h.

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I am surprised by the strong reactions that some people have. I wonder if they are jealous?

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Not at all delt with two faced so called friends in my past.

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Congratulations on starting this exciting process... Your friend may come around. It's quite a shock to some people. If she's truly a good friend, once she's over the shock, she'll strive to understand why you're having the surgery and she'll support you...

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What does the milk diet consist of?

its low fat milk diet, its different everywhere some places they allow you a sml meal but my dr's said no. so I had 350mls of milk every 2hrs starting at 8am finishing at 10pm but I also had a boullion drink at 2pm for salt intake & tonight is my last nigh of it

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its low fat milk diet, its different everywhere some places they allow you a sml meal but my dr's said no. so I had 350mls of milk every 2hrs starting at 8am finishing at 10pm but I also had a boullion drink at 2pm for salt intake & tonight is my last nigh of it

Oh that sounds just awful. I know I couldn't do it. I don't like milk at all, except in a bowl of Cereal. I'm hoping I can just get by with the Protein drinks.

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