Yesterday I Ate My Feelings

[delta_girl 931]

It was a long day yesterday. The night before my boyfriend and I had a spat and separated. I'm not sure if we broke up or what. It was strange.

Anyway. I had to get up early and drive several hours out of town yesterday morning. I didn't eat Breakfast since I had eaten some chicken around 4am when I couldn't go back to sleep. When I arrived at my meeting, all present had brought appetizers to share since it would be so long and we didn't know if we would have time to break for lunch. I ate anything and everything there and then some. On my way home I stopped and got a fat free latte and shopped in Whole Foods where I picked up some healthy things and some crunchy things. When I got home and had about 5 pieces of sushi for supper, then later I caught myself snacking again on oriental snack mix. This usually happens the day before my TOM, and I've become accustomed to that and am fine with it.

But I did not like what I saw and acknowledged yesterday. I was not hungry at the time that I ate most of the food I consumed yesterday. I grazed. It wasn't until later in the evening that I realized what I had been doing because I was so caught up inside of my own head. I wasn't bored, I was anxious, confused and maybe sad. So I reverted to my old self and started eating my emotions. I think I have actually been doing this very gradually over a few weeks now. I've lost close to 70 lbs but still have around 25 lbs to go and it has been Slooooooow going and I wonder if I'll make it to anywhere near goal, though I'm almost 6 months out.

I'm doing some serious reflecting today and addressing a few things with myself.

Challenges with food are better, but may never completely go away for me, though I can work on it.

I'm not sad or depressed or crying out for help or support. But I think its worth it to share that vsg does not solve everything for everyone (as has been said a billion+ times here). We are works in progress.

[No game 14,436]

I applaud you for opening up and and telling us your struggles... It's a point that I try to relate to people. We did not only eat because we were "hungry" most of my consumption of food was to soothe and "heal" myself.. This is the hardest part of the process especially when you can start eating more!! I've gone to therapy for years on this subject and I recognize it for what it is. But that does not mean that it's "cured"

Laura

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I find myself doing mindless eating a lot and realize I need to get it under control. I also have seen myself eat stuff when I'm not hungry when I'm stressed, worried, scared, angry, or even really really happy. Those are my past behaviors and now I'm trying to change that. The thing that I do differently is, I eat a lot of peanuts because I don't have much that's not healthy in the house. I have been finding myself eating a couple extra Protein Bars because I want something that's sweet. Perhaps taking notice of your tendency to do mindless eating will help you catch yourself in the process and perhaps change it with something a little bit more healthy like taking a walk. Calling a friend on the phone or family. Oh and make sure you dont miss any meals. That will set you up for failure.....Hang in there, this is a really rough time for you right now, not knowing where your relationship is going or is it gone? Reach out to us if you need some help.....

[Amanda626 153]

Amen sister. Its a tool, simple as that. The mental part is still there, and has to be dealt with daily. The struggle is daily. I totally understand.

[PdxMan 4,292]

Yes, it is important to remember the surgery was on our stomach, not our heads.

[Oakleygirl 53]

This was such a "real" post... how brave and honest you are being with us, but most importantly, with yourself. You WILL overcome using food for soothing your emotions because you are making yourself aware that this is a trigger for you. I am not sleeved yet, but worry about this type of eating post-op... thank you for being a role model for those of us to follow... I wish you peace in spirit so that your body and soul can follow.

[gmanbat 5,889]

I predict you will make it to your goal. Why? Because of the honesty in that post and the intelligence. You see what is happening and you are dealing with it. You know what you have to do.

You are actually ahead of where I was at 6 months with a similar weight to lose. On top of that, they say men lose easier because of the muscle mass.

Sorry to hear about your break up. That is always tough. You already know the trap that food presents as a drug to forget. Reality must be conquered not escaped. You must see through the illusions. You will do it!

[coops 1,790]

I agree with the other posters, for you to realise and understand your eating pattern is really important in this life long road to health.

The fact that you are aware of why you ate out of your normal pattern really does mean that you are not only in synch with your body but honest with yourself. This, I feel, is a good receive for success.

Good on you for posting this and making others aware.

I hope you feel better about your situation soon, any sort of emotional distress is hard to deal with.

I have a lot of respect for honesty and integrity.

[No game 14,436]

I keep coming back to this thread because it hits home in so many ways.. It means a lot to me when there can be an honest and open conversation about it internal struggle over food..

I hope that all of us at some point feel safe enough to come here and talk about this topic and help each other out.. This is a subject that many people in my "real life" cannot understand.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

ate anything and everything there and then some. vsg does not solve everything

delta_girl

congrats on losing almost 70 pounds!!!

i have no doubt you will reach your goal!!! No doubt at all!!!

I agree your refreshing honesty is a breath of fresh air, you coming out of the closet with your "admissions" - food for thought

Slip ups happen to all (ok, maybe not everyone, but i think goofs do happen to most!)

Confession IS good for the sole!!!

I'm not perfect (well actually I am )

seriously now - i definitely have my moments!!!!!

last night i was watching tv - and just HAD to eat "something"- I wasn't hungry - just the old habit of wanting to put some food in my mouth while watching tv - old habits do die hard

you/me/all of us - understandably can be mad at ourselves after we've eaten too much of something, or something we shouldn't have eaten all

get mad for a minute - this might help as you "might" not do it again - but again, we are only human!!!!

now after we feel sorry for ourselves, we must get over it - snap out it!!

i know this is easier said than done, but we can't dwell on whats happened, its done, over, past tense

doesn't help to keep being upset - learn from it, and go forward

the future is the only thing we have control of - the past is over - we gotta trudge forward.

you said you are "reflecting" - thats great

of course VSG doesn't fix the brain - wish it would!!!

i do wish we had that magic pill (non-caloric of course!!!)

we are a "work in progress" as you said.

I think you/me/all of us with hard work, continuous proper eating, drinking et al

We ALL can be successful!!!

if not us, who else deserves happiness????

continued good luck to ALL of US!!!!

[DuranFan1969 119]

Thank you for posting this today, it was good to read. I'm with you on this, although my emotional eating is for slightly different reasons which actually dawned on me this morning (I started dating a fantastic man about 5 months ago, and that's when my head hunger / stall / grazing started up again).

Like many have said, the surgery does not fix the head - it only fixes our tummy and the head is oh so much harder to fix. Many of us don't realize why we have the habits we had and don't realize we're still with those unanswered questions after surgery. Heck, I've even contemplated therapy or hypnosis to try and sort out the head portion.

Hang in there Delta Girl - I think that being honest with ourselves like you have is a big part of the process and I'm glad that you came to chat about it today. It's certainly helped me in remembering that we all have a similar journey.

[mommyradd 115]

Delta Girl:

Thank you so much for sharing. Your story hit close to home for me, as well. I have pretty much had an easy time not straying from my diet. I have been really happy with my progress, and I know that getting my sleeve has changed my life for the better.

Then I get up one day and my whole future is in crisis. My husband got laid off from his management job, and now we find ourselves with a new house, four children to feed, and no income...I find myself seeking comfort in Pork rinds and realize that it's not hunger, just my way of coping with fear. I need to get a hold of myself, and handle this crisis in a healthy, new way. Again, thanks for sharing your story. It encouraged me to wake up.

[MrsG 329]

I think you will def make it to goal as well. I think it's awesome you shared this! That took guts! I also think it's great you stopped later and realized what you were doing. You recognized it and held yourself accountable and I think that is so important to being successful with your weight loss. No, none of us are perfect and it's so refreshing to see that in a post on here! I have faith you can do this and you will make it thru! Thank you for your honesty!