Triggered by a tattoo

[cyncitygirl 100]

I recently got a tattoo on my arm (a beautiful lady, nothing gangster or scary) and my mom freaked out! I am 30years old, have my masters and am a successful professional and my mother won't talk to me. She cursed me out, cried and said very mean things because of this tattoo (which can be covered by my sleeve). My dad was not happy about the tattoo but said he will love me no matter what. I explained to my dad that I have never liked my body enough to show it off and I finally feel confident to display art that I want. I waited until I was ready. My dad understands. This all triggered me as my mom's history as a parent. Everything was about how I looked and how others perceived us. My sister was skinny and had boyfriends and I was overweight. I have been trying to lose weight all my life and she supports me but when I was younger she would point to morbidly obese people in scooters and say I would become them if I didn't stop gaining weight. Then she would buy me fast food because she didn't want to cook. I'm not upset about the tattoo, I respect that she needs time to accept it, but I am feeling like the child she would constantly remind of how important my looks are and that makes me very upset. I have been upset for days. The good thing is my dad and siblings are very supportive and my boyfriend has always made me feel beautiful with my weight gain, weight loss, tattoos, no tattoos... I finally am proud of all of me and my mom feels I ruined our relationship. I'm shocked.

[NewKristen 356]

I recently got a tattoo on my arm (a beautiful lady' date=' nothing gangster or scary) and my mom freaked out! I am 30years old, have my masters and am a successful professional and my mother won't talk to me. She cursed me out, cried and said very mean things because of this tattoo (which can be covered by my sleeve). My dad was not happy about the tattoo but said he will love me no matter what. I explained to my dad that I have never liked my body enough to show it off and I finally feel confident to display art that I want. I waited until I was ready. My dad understands. This all triggered me as my mom's history as a parent. Everything was about how I looked and how others perceived us. My sister was skinny and had boyfriends and I was overweight. I have been trying to lose weight all my life and she supports me but when I was younger she would point to morbidly obese people in scooters and say I would become them if I didn't stop gaining weight. Then she would buy me fast food because she didn't want to cook. I'm not upset about the tattoo, I respect that she needs time to accept it, but I am feeling like the child she would constantly remind of how important my looks are and that makes me very upset. I have been upset for days. The good thing is my dad and siblings are very supportive and my boyfriend has always made me feel beautiful with my weight gain, weight loss, tattoos, no tattoos... I finally am proud of all of me and my mom feels I ruined our relationship. I'm shocked.[/quote']

That is such a tough situation. My mom and dad are super conservative, so I can relate with your mom's reaction. She will come around, but I am sure that doesn't make it sting any less right now. :/ I used to live my life to please them, but somewhere around 30, I realized that I have to live my life to be happy! Sometimes they don't like what I do, and they have a negative reaction..,but they get over it.

I am glad that you feel beautiful. Don't let anyone make you feel anything less!

[kittenkate 186]

I just got a tattoo myself, one that I have wanted since I was about 15 years old. My parents never liked the idea but managed to keep me from getting it until now (13 years is a pretty good run....) I'm glad I waited because I see it now as a mark of my success with weight loss.

I'm so sorry that your mom isn't being as supportive as she should be, that is a really tough situation. You seem to have a very strong head on your shoulders though, you should be so proud of yourself! Like NewKristen said, dont let anyone make you feel anything less than beautiful!

[Bree 65]

I started in with the tattoos at 18 and I'm the only one in my immediate family who has them. I faced plenty of mocking, judgement, criticism, and condescending remarks. I feel like I can sympathize on some level. At 30 you're pretty much your own woman, free to make choices that may go completely against what your mother tried to instill in you as a girl. It is probably similar to a conservative parent having their kid turn out liberal, or a conservatively religious family having a kid turn out to gay. Your mom might be feeling pangs of guilt and failure, and taking that out on you... most parents at the end of their day want their kids to continue being happy and healthy. When she gets through the forest enough to look back and see the trees, she'll recognize this and let it go. (I hope)

Good luck, give it time, and get some more tats while you're at it just to show her you mean business.

[Geminidrive 389]

I recently got a tattoo on my arm (a beautiful lady, nothing gangster or scary) and my mom freaked out! I am 30years old, have my masters and am a successful professional and my mother won't talk to me. She cursed me out, cried and said very mean things because of this tattoo (which can be covered by my sleeve). My dad was not happy about the tattoo but said he will love me no matter what. I explained to my dad that I have never liked my body enough to show it off and I finally feel confident to display art that I want. I waited until I was ready. My dad understands. This all triggered me as my mom's history as a parent. Everything was about how I looked and how others perceived us. My sister was skinny and had boyfriends and I was overweight. I have been trying to lose weight all my life and she supports me but when I was younger she would point to morbidly obese people in scooters and say I would become them if I didn't stop gaining weight. Then she would buy me fast food because she didn't want to cook. I'm not upset about the tattoo, I respect that she needs time to accept it, but I am feeling like the child she would constantly remind of how important my looks are and that makes me very upset. I have been upset for days. The good thing is my dad and siblings are very supportive and my boyfriend has always made me feel beautiful with my weight gain, weight loss, tattoos, no tattoos... I finally am proud of all of me and my mom feels I ruined our relationship. I'm shocked.

I don't have any tattoos nor can I relate to what you are experiencing with your mom, but I do wish in time things work out for you and your mother. Can we see the tattoo, I'm sure it is beautiful!

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

When my daughter got her tattoo (at 16) without our permission I just about died! I just knew for sure she was going to hell and forever going to be a floozy! Seriously, I was so worried about what my parents and others would think of me as a parent. It's how we were raised and it's hard to not let that com out hn change happens.. Especially when it's unepectantly sprung on us.

It's been 25 years and I've gotten over it (didn't take but a few days) and I realized I can't force my views on anyone.. But my husband 'cause he just rolls his eyes and says yeah, yeah...

Hang in there OP.. They will come around nd realize this isn't a major deal

[Takingcontrol 467]

Both my girls are beautiful, professional women & great mothers...& they both have tattoos! They are hidden most of the time...but are there & can be seen when they wish. They also both know how I feel about tattoos, HATE them! But, with that said...they are grown women & can do as they see fit! This, nor ANYTHING else they could ever do, will change my love for them!! You mom is you mom...& hopefully she will come around soon.

[cyncitygirl 100]

Both my girls are beautiful' date=' professional women & great mothers...& they both have tattoos! They are hidden most of the time...but are there & can be seen when they wish. They also both know how I feel about tattoos, HATE them! But, with that said...they are grown women & can do as they see fit! This, nor ANYTHING else they could ever do, will change my love for them!! You mom is you mom...& hopefully she will come around soon.[/quote']

Why did this make me want to cry? It's exactly how I want to be treated. Thank you everyone. I read everything and don't feel so alone in this journey. I'm sure my mom will come around. She didn't fail as a mom, she succeeded in raising an independent thinker.

[woman in me 307]

I have 3 tattoos. My 1st I got when I was barely 18 and still living at home. I hid it for 2 years until I was married. The day my mom seen it she politely asked my husband to leave the room and proceeded to explain to me that I had lived under her roof and broke her rules at the time I acquired the tattoo and therefore I deserved a good ass whoopin. And I got one. Lol. The other two tattoos came later and she didn't say a word other than ' if that's what makes you happy. At least they are pretty. ". She'll come around.

[doreen70 268]

I have 7. I got the first one at 25, mom of two, and married. A couple of nurses went after work one morning for tattoos and piercings. When my mother first saw it, she was flipping furious. It was months of bitching about it. She's over it now.