Obsessing over cheating

[cyncitygirl 100]

I did so well yesterday. I ate well for Breakfast lunch and dinner. And then at 9 I went to a friends house to catch up with some old girlfriends. I was not hungry or thirsty. I was fine!! But I ate. I had some small pieces of chicken from a Chinese chicken salad, a no-pudge (low fat) brownie, some veggies, and a spoonful of this ambrosia. Overall it wasn't as much as I would eat without a sleeve. They had pizza and wine and chips which I didn't have any but I felt so disgusted with my BEHAVIOR more than my food choices. By the end of the night it was like I ate a cup of food total. Ok fine maybe not a ton of calories. But it was the impulsivity. I didn't feel restriction and I felt like a kid released to recess. I just ran around grazin g on things. I just have been doing so well packing my own food and eating and I just hate that I get this urge (usually at night) I binge eat even if its a little. I can't just not eat even if I'm not hungry. I feel like I always cheat in some little way whether its eating a cracker or eating a little more when I'm by hungry. I'm disgusted with myself and just worry I lost my restriction because yesterday felt so unrestrained

How do I start over again???:0/

[newat52 1,612]

I did so well yesterday. I ate well for Breakfast lunch and dinner. And then at 9 I went to a friends house to catch up with some old girlfriends. I was not hungry or thirsty. I was fine!! But I ate. I had some small pieces of chicken from a Chinese chicken salad, a no-pudge (low fat) brownie, some veggies, and a spoonful of this ambrosia. Overall it wasn't as much as I would eat without a sleeve. They had pizza and wine and chips which I didn't have any but I felt so disgusted with my BEHAVIOR more than my food choices. By the end of the night it was like I ate a cup of food total. Ok fine maybe not a ton of calories. But it was the impulsivity. I didn't feel restriction and I felt like a kid released to recess. I just ran around grazin g on things. I just have been doing so well packing my own food and eating and I just hate that I get this urge (usually at night) I binge eat even if its a little. I can't just not eat even if I'm not hungry. I feel like I always cheat in some little way whether its eating a cracker or eating a little more when I'm by hungry. I'm disgusted with myself and just worry I lost my restriction because yesterday felt so unrestrained

How do I start over again???:0/

One day at a time. That's all you can do. We are all human and prone to make mistakes. Just get back up the next day and do your best.

Just because you are sleeved, doesn't mean you walk on Water.

So now after I am sleeved and make the same mistake and beat myself up over it, will you remind me of what I told you?

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I did so well yesterday. I ate well for breakfast lunch and dinner. And then at 9 I went to a friends house to catch up with some old girlfriends. I was not hungry or thirsty. I was fine!! But I ate. I had some small pieces of chicken from a Chinese chicken salad, a no-pudge (low fat) brownie, some veggies, and a spoonful of this ambrosia. Overall it wasn't as much as I would eat without a sleeve. They had pizza and wine and chips which I didn't have any but I felt so disgusted with my BEHAVIOR more than my food choices. By the end of the night it was like I ate a cup of food total. Ok fine maybe not a ton of calories. But it was the impulsivity. I didn't feel restriction and I felt like a kid released to recess. I just ran around grazin g on things. I just have been doing so well packing my own food and eating and I just hate that I get this urge (usually at night) I binge eat even if its a little. I can't just not eat even if I'm not hungry. I feel like I always cheat in some little way whether its eating a cracker or eating a little more when I'm by hungry. I'm disgusted with myself and just worry I lost my restriction because yesterday felt so unrestrained

How do I start over again???:0/

I could have written that, so I do know that fear. I have been doing really well, but lately I can eat a lot more than I could a month ago. I also know that I'm about 10 weeks post op, and I rarely was able to do well on a diet longer than this. I worry that I'll always be one who just "sticks something in my mouth". It would be super easy to do! There is no way this surgery will work for me without ME doing the work. I read that some people on here will lose no matter what, but I know for me, that's not the case. Thanks for the honest post.

[cyncitygirl 100]

One day at a time. That's all you can do. We are all human and prone to make mistakes. Just get back up the next day and do your best.

Just because you are sleeved' date=' doesn't mean you walk on Water.

So now after I am sleeved and make the same mistake and beat myself up over it, will you remind me of what I told you? [/quote']

Thanks. You're right I don't walk on Water although I tread water pretty well. Heehee. I would tell you the same advice too I'm just harder on myself than others I guess. Today was already a better day. I went on a family bike ride and ate healthy. Thanks. And yes I WILL def remind you too!

[cyncitygirl 100]

I could have written that' date=' so I do know that fear. I have been doing really well, but lately I can eat a lot more than I could a month ago. I also know that I'm about 10 weeks post op, and I rarely was able to do well on a diet longer than this. I worry that I'll always be one who just "sticks something in my mouth". It would be super easy to do! There is no way this surgery will work for me without ME doing the work. I read that some people on here will lose no matter what, but I know for me, that's not the case. Thanks for the honest post.[/quote']

Yes! Really do I have to try everything I see? Where's the control?!! But I guess it's how we bounce back instead of stay in a rut that matters.

[NurseGrace 509]

I think that so much of what we do here to change ourselves has less to do with what goes on and more to do with how we react, and how we proceed.

I think it was Aristotle that said we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Obviously, that one cup of food is not going to make or break you, what matters here is if you pick yourself up and start clean tomorrow or not.

There is no magic wand to wave for a clean start, you just... proceed.

[*susan* 1,709]

Did you get your sleeve to deprive yourself, or to be able to live your life like a "normal" person? From what I read, you made some great choices. You were able to enjoy a social situation with your friends, you made better choices than you did pre-sleeve and you really didn't even eat that much. You are living! That is okay, it is okay to enjoy life. It is okay to enjoy the occasional splurge, go out with friends, have a few drinks, etc. as long as most of the time you make healthier choices. You did nothing wrong, there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Sent from my iPad using VST

[cyncitygirl 100]

Did you get your sleeve to deprive yourself' date=' or to be able to live your life like a "normal" person? From what I read, you made some great choices. You were able to enjoy a social situation with your friends, you made better choices than you did pre-sleeve and you really didn't even eat that much. You are living! That is okay, it is okay to enjoy life. It is okay to enjoy the occasional splurge, go out with friends, have a few drinks, etc. as long as most of the time you make healthier choices. You did nothing wrong, there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Sent from my iPad using VST[/quote']

This really helped. You're right. Thank you! Before I would have had wine and pizza and sampled every dessert they had. I feel understood. Thanks.

[cyncitygirl 100]

I think that so much of what we do here to change ourselves has less to do with what goes on and more to do with how we react' date=' and how we proceed.

I think it was Aristotle that said we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Obviously, that one cup of food is not going to make or break you, what matters here is if you pick yourself up and start clean tomorrow or not.

There is no magic wand to wave for a clean start, you just... proceed.[/quote']

I def agree. I made sure the next day I did better

[cyncitygirl 100]

I think that so much of what we do here to change ourselves has less to do with what goes on and more to do with how we react' date=' and how we proceed.

I think it was Aristotle that said we are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Obviously, that one cup of food is not going to make or break you, what matters here is if you pick yourself up and start clean tomorrow or not.

There is no magic wand to wave for a clean start, you just... proceed.[/quote']

I def agree. I made sure the next day I did better

[EweLewz 107]

I think the mere fact that you felt guilty (though you didn't do anything wrong) shows the progress you've made. For me, the surgery represents a new lease on life. I was sleeved on 2/22. I am looking forward to riding my bicycle more than eating something I shouldn't. IMO, we have all been given second chances. How much we take advantage of it is up to us. Personally, I look at restaurant commercials with contempt. That food that looks so good is really poison. I think deep down we all know what choices to make to live a longer, healthier life. The longer we do the right thing, the less we will be tempted.