I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

WOW you guys have been posting like mad. Ive been out of touch because of a huge workload and it took me about a day and a half to eat my sofa remember chew chew chew!!!!

Speshelk, I have a plan, I just don't know how well I can stick with it!! We'll see.

Denise822, I am knocking down the protein left and right, Thanks

Eyespy, cool profile. Too bad you don't like bad boys! What part of Florida do you call home?

Chrispygal, thanks for the encouragement I think I'll be back on track quickly, I am really trying to fight ballooning because I have a consult with a plastic surgeon Monday.

AnotherMe, You are so right! I worked for a surveyor for a few years and spent most of my time trudging through the FLorida swamps even in cold weather and NEVER even got a sniffle. Get an office job and this happens!

I am so happy to have found new fill center.

I would love to get some new recipies! By the way do you how many carbs are in an entertainment center?!? :-) thanks for the support all of you are great!

JC

Hi Gang -

Am sort of new to the site - have been mostly looking at the threads on banding and this is my 1st time here. Have read the last few post (would take to long to start @ 1 to 43

I am 52 divorce and hope to be banded shortly. I haven't dated in 5 yrs since my hubby and i broke up.. I am unlike most of you here - I'm not really interested in getting involved again. I think that because of all the drama involved in the whole relationship area. I didn't marry until I was 40 (don't get me wrong I am no old maid - Had bf's and lived with a few - but none were the kind of guys you wanted to marry -- well one was but he had a drug problem and after 8 yrs said bye bye) I am like eyespy - i enjoy my alone time - every now and then it can get boring being single - see i said boring not lonely cuz i am not. The only thing i really miss about a relationship is going places - my hubby & I would go to the river, magic mtn, 4 wheeling, quads, cruises, etc. He cooked, cleaned - great lover - no drugs - social drinker - Problem was he was a CONTROL FREAK and was jealous of my son & grandson. Havent had sex in 5 yrs either and can't say i miss it too much - I think i used it all up in my 20's - 30 - 40's )....

All my friends are married - except for 1 - she and i do go to concert etc - but thats about it - We might go to the local bar once or twice a yr but I'm not looking to be a barfly looking for love in all the wrong places. ( when i was in my 30's I had single friends who were in their 50's hanging at the bars - i told them then that i didn't want to be sitting at the same table when I was their age -might have been a tad blunt - but it was the truth)

If the guy fell in my lap - I wouldn't turn him away - but i don't know how that's going to happen - if i don't go anywhere to meet him :0)

I enjoy my life - I can do as I please - go where I want - talk to whom ever I choose. - see what being your own boss can do :0)

Eyespy - your profile is Great.... Heck if i ever do want to date I would use that as a template - change just a few things but you sound alot like me - Except I LOVE to shop.

Well good luck to all who are out there looking

My advice - Always stay true to yourself and don't settle for less just to have a man around. You gotta be happy with you before you can be happy with someone else...

jcgrove: I live the Panhandle of FL--NW FL. That's as specific as I want to be on-line. Am I paranoid, or what?

Indiogirl: I like what you said about being bored but not lonely. I think that is more how I feel, but I never really thought about it that way. I miss feeling special to a man, having someone to cuddle, and spending time with someone, but I have friends and family and I'm good at being by myself. I don't really feel lonely--although until your statement, I probably thought of it as being lonely. Although I would love me someone and get married, part of me thinks I might not like being married. On top of being single into my 30's, I'm an only child. So, I really have never had to do things other peoples way. I'm not saying that I have to get my way. I'm actually very comprising in social situations, but on my own time, in my own house, I like things done my way. That would be the hardest thing about being married for me--having to take someone else's opinions into considerations.

I thought I'd post this separately since I carried on and on in the last e-mail. Did any of you see that special on PBS special: Fat: What No One is Telling You? Here is the address if you want to watch it online. I got this from a previous post.

FAT: What No One Is Telling You - Watching: Chapter 1 | PBS

In one of the segments, a doctor reported that only about 5% of gastric bypass patients get down to a normal weight. Have any of you heard any statistics about the lapband? Have you heard what the average amount of weight loss is?

I don't necessarily care about getting to my *ideal* weight, but I would like to move into the plain, old overweight category instead of being MO. It sounds like some of you are having difficulties with your band. Is anyone sorry they had it done? I am so afraid the hunger will remain after surgery. I am afraid I will still crave sweets and processed foods. It's such a big decision. That why I love this site. You get the good, the bad, and the ugly--not to mention the Big and Beautiful!

Okay, I took everyone's advice and put up a profile on plenty of fish. com

I sent messages out to several men. I wonder if any of them will answer.

Chrispy, I hope you don't mind. Our profiles sound the same for some reason.

I am afraid I may have borrowed more than I planned from your profile. But

I thought since we live at opposite ends of the US and I am not looking for anyone in their 30's , you would be flattered that I found your profile so great.

eyespy, I need to look at yours again. I had Chrispy's saved in a word document. I can't help it. I can never think of anything to write.:biggrin1::biggrin1:

Hi eyespy

I know probably 15 fellow employees in the hospital where I work that have had the band. All look great and have maintained the ideal weight. Some are 2, 3, and 4 yrs post surgery. I know 3 or 4 people that have had gastric by pass. 2 of them regained their weight and the other one struggles constantly. I read somewhere that 50% of the gastric by pass people will regain the weight. WOW! Even though I haven't read any stats on the lapband, I'd be willing to bet that it's much less.

According to my weight management clinic, if one doen't change her lifestyle and develop new habits, she will have difficulty maintaining .

Here's to the new us. I don't know abouy anyone else, but I want to keep it off.

misscarol

See in my opinion, the thing about the band is that if you want to lose the weight, you have to change your habits. You'll only get so far with the band. You have to do just as much work. With bypass, the weight falls off and if you don't change your habits, eventually it will come back on. I'm not saying that bypass people can't change their habits, or that all bandsters do, but I think we have a better chance of keeping the weight off if it takes us 2 years to lose it. I'm with you though Carol, by whole goal is to lose it and keep it off!

Denise I don't mind at all if you "borrowed" some of my profile wording. Not at all! I hope you have luck with plenty of fish. Post your pic, know that you're a hot thing and that men would be lucky to have you! Oh, I broke up with tattoo boy because he started acting funny. One week wants to see me all the time, the next week i don't hear for him for days. I talked to him about it, he told me he heard me loud and clear, but nothing changed the next two days so I dumped him. He's claiming now it takes him more than two days to process something and he knows he can be a bit high maintenance but he wished I didn't give up so early. I told him that sounds so "f-ed" up. lol. So I think we're at least on friendly terms now and we understand where the other one was coming from. I don't think it will change anything, but that's ok. I'm not sure I would want to go down that road again with him.

I totally understand that you have to change your habits and the band is just a tool. I guess what I'm wondering is how come you're able to do that post band when you couldn't do it pre-band? If I was able to change my habits, I wouldn't need the lapband.

A few years ago, I did change my habits. I lost 30 pounds very slowly and healthy. I accepted that this was my new lifestyle, but after a year-and-a-half, I resorted back to my old ways and haven't been able to get back on track since.

So how is that the lap helped you make that change you couldn't before?

Sorry to be so negative. I just want to be fully informed before making my decision. Maybe I will feel more confident after meeting with the surgeon. I go to a seminar on Thursday, and after that, I can make an appointment with the surgeon and get the ball rolling.

For me the band:

1. Refuses to allow me to eat too fast no matter what my hunger level may be.

2. Restriction holds food up around the area that contains the nerves that inform your brain that you are full so I do not eat as much.

JC

eyespy, a lot of it is pure dieting. You can't eat sweets and expect to lose. That's my biggest downfall. Ice cream goes down probably better than anything else. The things that don't work well with the band are french fries, rice, pasta and bread. They get stuck and it's painful. They say if you're a volume eater, the band is a good choice. The portions become so much smaller once you are banded.

Some people aren't losing well for the same reasons they couldn't lose before banding. I am not losing well, but it's not from lack of trying. I eat small portions, and exercise. I think part of the problem is that my body was already used to a lot of exercise. I am getting another fill next week, and I am hoping that will help me lose again. I always seem to drop 5 lbs right after a fill. I hope I will keep losing this time. These plateaus are maddening!

Chrispy! I have been talking on the phone with someone about 20 miles from here. I did post that picture on the fish website and he messaged me last night. We chatted on the computer for awhile and talked for long periods of time on the phone last night and today. He seems very nice. I can't tell what he looks like though. On his picture, he is standing in a shadow and you can't see his face. So he put his web cam on , and it was so fuzzy, I still could barely see what he looks like.

It's been really fun though, having someone act like they are interested in me!!

Hi All. I havent been on in a few because I have had some ex man drama...It is all through now and I can finally move on...That man has made me got nuts on low fat cream soups tonight...I hope I havent messed anything up.They have all been thinned in the majic bullet and low fat and cal but it has been to much anyone think I did any damage?...I am very much a stress eater and I need to turn it into a stress walker or somthing...I guess there is always tomorrow...I am also on POF. There are some nice guys on there and some total scumbags...Just like in real life. I out a semi true profile up to see whats out there. Since I am newly single and banded I think I have alot to work on before I worry about finding another man...I hope you all have a great weekend also if your on MySpace i can be found at martinis_rock. Take care of you....Kimi

I think you should be ok Kim with the soup. I'm a stress eater too, although I've found that 8 months out I have curbed that habit a tremendous amount.

Denise - you go girl!!!! Isn't fun to even talk with someone?! Ask a lot of questions, make sure he's being honest with you, and have some fun girl!

Eyspy - I don't blame you for wanting as much info about the band as you can get. For me, food has lost a lot of his luster. This in and of itself is amazing to me. I didn't feel like that right away, but 8 months and 3 fills down the road, I don't put such a big focus on eating, even though I still enjoy food. And certain foods take so much effort to eat, I never care to eat them. For example, when I go out to eat I have no interest in getting a burger & fries or even pizza, which is my all time favorite, because they take too much effort to eat. Also, with this third fill I am FINALLY feeling the benefits of staying full between meals. That was one of my biggest problems. I was always hungry. I love the fact that I can eat my breakfast and not need a snack before lunch. Sometimes I still need a small snack in the afternoon, but a small snack now fills me up. It's a beautiful thing. But like Denise said it's still very easy to eat the ice cream, cookies, and junk because that stuff goes down easy. So you still have to use your willpower. It's not as easy a journey as I thought it would be, but I am facing my personal issues with food which needs to be done if I ever want to beat this demon. I always tell myself that the band is just a tool, and whether or not I'm a success story will depend on how I use it.

Good for you, Denise!! :clap2:

Thanks everyone for talking about how the band is working for you. Right now, I struggle with cravings. I feel like I have no impulse control when it comes to food. I also eat way too much. If a make a certain amount, I eat it, even if I am full. I know that when I get all the garbage out of my system, my cravings go away. It's just getting to that ppoint that's hard.

Well eyespy there is nothing like a 3 week liquid diet to detox you from all the junk. lol. My problems were eating large volumes, hunger (snacking too much), and stress eating. The band has helped with all 3.

With my 3rd fill though I'm starting to get nervous that it's going to become abundantly obvious when I go to dinner with someone that I'm not eating much. When I went to dinner with tattoo boy the other night (who knows about my surgery thank god) I was able to eat 3 scallops and a few bites of the lettuce from my salad. That's it. I'm stressing out a little bit over my dates noticing this. lol So what are some ideas for dates that don't revolve around eating????

I am excited to get another fill. I am where Chrispy was. I get full fast but I get hungry fast too. With the right fill, eyespy, if you make a certain amount of food, you won't be able to eat all of it. That's the whole thing with the band. You're supposed to get full on a small amount of food. You can't eat more. You can get a dialated pouch. If that happens, you have to go back on a liquid diet.

I can tell if I over eat. My shoulder hurts! It's the weirdest thing. They say the band presses on the diaphram and it hurts in the shoulder. I have been warned that if that happens, I risk dialating my pouch.

I am excited that I am going to meet the guy I have been talking with on the phone the past few days. We talked last night until 2am. We seem to have a lot in common. I am kind of worried though, because of the picture issue.I really couldn't tell what he looked like from that web cam. I have talked to men on the phone before, and then when I met them, there was zero chemistry.

I don't expect to find a man that is gorgeous, but nerdy men don't appeal to me at all. That's the way it was with the guy who is still my friend that I met from yahoo personals. We talked on the phone for a few days, but when I met him, I was pretty disappointed. I went out with him several times, thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. The thought made me literally ill. I never thought that thing about chemistry was true, but it really is.

Chrispy, how is it going with new man? Last we heard, you went out, but didn't get a good night kiss. Have you talked to him or seen him again?