I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Loved your post JC. And it's very true. It's been tough but I've been trying to focus on myself, and doing what's good for me. It's well worth it though. I really feel like I am finding myself again. It's a wonderful thing.

Well, Gang. I need to ask for your prayers. My father went in today for a heart cath. after a stress test. He had been to the ER last week, and everything--3 EKG's, cardiac blood tests--came back normal. The stress test was to rule out any heart issues. They thought it was his acid reflux.

Well, they found that he had 60-90% blockage in all three major arteries and in additional blood vessels. They are doing bypass surgery on him tomorrow. I asked how many, and the doctor stated counting, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . We won't really know until we get in there."

It is a miracle that he hasn't had a heart attack. The doctor said that his heart is strong, and that is the best prognosis going into the surgery.

I am doing amazingly well. I get really calm in stressful situations, so I am not freaking out or anything. I know they do these surgeries all the time with great success.

I will update tomorrow or the next days. Just please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Alysa

Alysa sorry to hear about this. My prayers are with you and your family.

JC

Thanks Chispy, I sense you are enjoying a self esteem boost!! (inspirational)

You are absolutely right about my excercise frequency. Even though I was active at 350 lbs. I hiked part of the Appalacian trail and did my first whitewater rafting trip at that weight but the recovery time caused me to have long amounts of downtime. I did my first 100 mile bike ride weighing 330 lbs finished in 11 hours not bad for a BIGBOY! However I don't think I moved my body for three days in the aftermath. Translation, I think I may have some stuborn old Brahma Bull DNA in my veins. Some would argue it is more likely to be Jackass DNA but those people are Nuts!

Alysa hope things are going well for you and your family.

JC

Hi I guess I am a little late in joining in on tis conversation. I too have a hard time finding things to do. Meeting guys is very hard for me because of my profession. Anyway, I don't know where you live, but I am in Florida, so the weather is usually nice. I walk in the malls, because I haven't been able to do that for quite a while, go to the movies, do needle point, go to the theater, baseball games, and this was the really hardest to do..... go to a co ed gym. At 325 pounds it took all I had to walk through the door, but I was so surprised at the support I got from both guys and girls! Join a book club sounds like fun, volunteering at hospital, museum, girls club, big sisters of america, schools... just a few suggestions. The caliber of men you would like to meet, will be that the places you like to go. Now, if I could only follow my own advice! lol Most of all, you are worth it! As far as surgery, I was shopping the next day, and working the day after. The only unpleasantness was the gas pain in my shoulder. I would be careful with suitcases. A woman who traveled alt was back traveling in a week, flying all over with suitcases and all! Everyone has a different pain tolerance and healing rate. Listen to your body!

alysa,

Just wanted to let you know i am thinking about you..My grandpa had 4 bypass surgerys. My grandma 2 heart valve transplants..So i know how emotional everything is..(((hugs))))

~Kristen

Well, Gang. I need to ask for your prayers. My father went in today for a heart cath. after a stress test. He had been to the ER last week, and everything--3 EKG's, cardiac blood tests--came back normal. The stress test was to rule out any heart issues. They thought it was his acid reflux.

Well, they found that he had 60-90% blockage in all three major arteries and in additional blood vessels. They are doing bypass surgery on him tomorrow. I asked how many, and the doctor stated counting, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . We won't really know until we get in there."

It is a miracle that he hasn't had a heart attack. The doctor said that his heart is strong, and that is the best prognosis going into the surgery.

I am doing amazingly well. I get really calm in stressful situations, so I am not freaking out or anything. I know they do these surgeries all the time with great success.

I will update tomorrow or the next days. Just please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Alysa

Alysa

My prayer and good thought are with you. I am like you I don't freak in stressful situations - but am calm - We hold it in cuz if we let go watch out.

My x just had triple by pass after a heart attack and he is just fine and dandy,... It's a very good thing that they caught this before he had a heart attack...

Love, Hugs & Prayers for You

Janet

Alysa, I hope everything is going well for your family. I had a friend who had

5 bypasses about a month ago, and she is only 53. It's scary. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

I have been a little depressed. That whole situation with that guy makes me never want to try again. It was hard getting my hopes up and finding I met just one more loser.

Alysa hon, you, your father, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers today. ((hugs))

Denise don't get discouraged!! You may have to kiss (or not kiss in this case) a lot of frogs to find your prince, but he's out there. I know what it's like to want things out of life that you don't have (for me children first, a man second lol), but I also am a firm believer that we get one shot at life, and since we don't know what day will be our last, we need to focus on being thankful for what we do have and not focus on what we don't. You are a beautiful, caring woman who has a great head on her shoulders. You are working towards improving yourself and your life. The man who lands you will be one lucky guy!! You need a hug today too I sense. lol ((hugs))

JC, yes my self-esteem has really been boosted as I've been losing this weight. I've always been a "big" girl, but I was always active and athletic. There was nothing I couldn't do. For me, once I started getting winded doing simple things like riding a bike, I felt disgusted with how out of shape I was. Now that I've lost 50 lbs, exercising is so much easier and I'm starting to enjoy it again. You're an inspiration to me with the exercise. I'm so glad you've become a regular poster on the thread.

Well, I have an update. I previously posted about the guy I dumped for my now ex husband about 9 years ago and he now returned the favor to me. He "is not ready for a relationship", well he should've thought about that when we were at his house the other day, and I'll leave it at that. What a bummer! I guess karma D O E S exist. I was more upset over him (crying in my cube yesterday) than I ever was over my ex husband! Go figure. Just need some support here. I wanted SO BAD to go home and eat, eat, eat, but I didn't, as tempting as it was.....I had delusions of grandeour I guess. :help::cry

Well, Gang. I need to ask for your prayers. My father went in today for a heart cath. after a stress test. He had been to the ER last week, and everything--3 EKG's, cardiac blood tests--came back normal. The stress test was to rule out any heart issues. They thought it was his acid reflux.

Well, they found that he had 60-90% blockage in all three major arteries and in additional blood vessels. They are doing bypass surgery on him tomorrow. I asked how many, and the doctor stated counting, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . We won't really know until we get in there."

It is a miracle that he hasn't had a heart attack. The doctor said that his heart is strong, and that is the best prognosis going into the surgery.

I am doing amazingly well. I get really calm in stressful situations, so I am not freaking out or anything. I know they do these surgeries all the time with great success.

I will update tomorrow or the next days. Just please keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers.

Alysa

Alysa, my dad had a quad bypass (each artery 95-99% blocked) in 1985 (when I was 15) and he still loves to exercise and tries to take care of himself too. I'm sending good vibes your way, God Bless!

doto, I am sorry to hear that. It's terrible the way men can get us down.

If you are driven to eat, eat healthy things! I don't keep anything in my house that can get me in trouble, so the worse thing I have to eat is a sugar free fudgesicle.

You will find someone better!

Denise822

I've been in a 6 yr on and off relationship. I love the guy very much, but I realized if I was ever going to get a commintment, it would probably have to be from someone else.

The guy I thought was a keeper turned out to be a disappointment. It did ,however, get the guy I had the 6 yr relationship to wake up and take notice. I'll see if I get a commintment before long.misscarol

Thanks Chrispy those for some very kind and uplifting words.

I feel as if I am a male mirror of you after reading your last post. Just replace "Big" girl with "Big" boy.

As for excercise, this weekend, it's off to the Pinellas Trail for a 80 mile ride on my catrike 700 Catrike Performance Trikes will post pics when I regain Consciousness .

Alysa, getting antsy wating to hear from ya sending your father and all a big prayer!

JC

Hi everyone! I had my 3rd date last night and had a great time. He really does crack me up, and I am definitely attracted to him. This was "my" date to plan, and we ended up going down to Federal Hill in Providence and had some yummy italian food. I had no problem eating, which was nice because I was worried since this was our first date after my last fill. We ended up sharing a Caprese Salad (fresh mozzarella & tomatoes) for an appetizer, and then I got Mushroom Raviolis for dinner. They were sooooooo good. lol. I ate two, my date ate one, and I was stuffed. BUT he did not say one word nor did he seem to notice I didn't eat much. Maybe I need to stop worrying about that aspect so much. lol

So after dinner we went to a nice little bar and had a couple glasses of red wine and chatted. Again, good time with lots of laughing. At the end of the night he walked me to my door and.....no kiss. Ugh! lol We hugged goodnight again. I think it's nice in a way, but in another way I just don't get it. I'm thinking either he's shy or he's not feeling sparks on his end. I really don't think that's the case though, although maybe I'm not the best at reading people. lol. So that's my story for today. I'm off to spend the day with Dad. Happy Father's Day to all our dads out there!