I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Thanks for the welcome all!

Ash ~ I'm with you...I work full time and I'm a full time grad student so I forgot what it was like to interact with anything other than a computer. After I healed a broken ankle (6 weeks of complete boredom...8 weeks if you count the ice storm) I decided I was going to get back out there and have a social life. Not specifically for dating, just for some socialization. I went back to ballroom/swing dancing with some friends one or two nights a week - that has helped to get me away from the computer a bit.

Ashley,

It's amazing how other people treat me now. What's also different is how I treat myself. Even though other people can be jerks, how many of us have lived our lives putting up walls so it hurts less when ppl make fun of us.

Losing 80 pounds has made me feel beautiful, sexy, and happy. My boyfriend says I'm a little more vain now but that's ok - I'm hot! heheheh He says the best part about my surgery was the confidence it gave me. I'm confident in what I do, in who I am, and in things I try.

I was always afraid to try new things - mostly physical things. Not now! I'll try any gym class, any outdoor activity, anything! I never would have done that pre-band... I would have just kept to myself on the elliptical and got bored of my routine.

My band helped me to branch out at the gym. I now have a group of about 12 friends, men and women, that I see socially outside of the gym. All these things help contribute to a happier life... happier people are more attractive. Don't you think?

Wow! A whole bunch of new single bandsters! Welcome to everyone!

Chrispy, I am sorry to hear that, since you liked him. Maybe

"the other woman" and him won't work out. Did you email him

back and wish him luck?

I feel like an old lady in here!

... happier people are more attractive. Don't you think?

I agree whole-heartedly Dani. Perfectly said!

Ashley,

happier people are more attractive. Don't you think?

Ya know it's funny you should mention that, because a friend of mine and I were discussing this.

My ex boyfriend got married, and she was talking about his wife (Whom I've never seen), and I said that he never really did date very attractive girls (Except for me of course), and she commented on how a girl he had dated "Gina" was pretty she thought.

My response was "Yeah, I guess so, but she never smiles. What's pretty about someone who walks around like they hate the world?"

She said "You have a point..."

~*Ash*~

(Sorry if that was incoherent rambling)

Thanks Denise maybe they have been knocking and I just haven't been home. lol

Karla, nice cruise photos did you say you were going to post more? That is one things I haven't done yet, but it is on my short list.

1. Kayak the Malecon on Vieques Island Puerto Rico

2. Kayak 100 miles through the Everglades

3. Scuba Dive Aircraft Carrier off Daytona Beach

4. Alaska kayak with the whales.

5. take a cruise to anywhere.

Manatee, I don't think there are many landmines here. As long as you behave. lol

Soonersis, "I aint scared" and I am sure there are more like me who appreciate strong independant women.

Ash unfortunately you female types tend to out mature your male counterparts! I have 40+ year old friends who have to get mommy and daddy to help them pay bills! I don't get it.

Bummed congrats on your upcoming surgery!

Hey Chrispy sorry to hear about the IT guy, gives the rest of us IT guys a bad name! Also shows you what I know! SORRY.

Hey Derbygirl, that is very cool. Where were you banded?

Back to project 27 I will try to come out of my "cave" a little more often!

JC

Yay! I love your answers!!

I have always had very low self esteem due to weight....always due to weight. Then, last year my first serious boyfriend in years broke up with me. As you can imagine, that did wonders for a self esteem that was already struggling. I am wanting this to help the way I see myself.

Bummed/Ashley

Hey Derbygirl, that is very cool. Where were you banded?

JC

I was banded in Fort Worth, TX by Adam Smith. I'm envious of you--you're almost at goal. I still want to take off another 100 pounds.

What exercise do you do besides kayaking? And don't you get scared when you see one of those gators near you in the water?

Denise, thanks for welcoming me and the other newbies. :biggrin1:

Off topic: It's flooding here in Texas. My backyard is like a lake!!!! :rain:

It's a little scary. I could USE a kayak about now!!

Back from my first fill! 3.8 cc in a VG band. I don't know if there's really a lot of restriction, will know in a few days.

I don't do needles well, so I couldn't watch Doc put it in. Strangest sensation was when he pulled the needle back out. I'm sure you all know this though.

re: divorce -- it's a GOOD thing. I could tell some tales in that "intimacy" thread, but suffice it to say that I was tired of being a walking wallet and housemate. I will miss the dogs.

Onto the single front -- not really a "dating" question, but some input would be appreciated. I've been invited to a pool party being thrown by a coworker. I've recently been hanging with these folks at happy hours, and enjoy it, but I don't think I'm ready to show up in a swimsuit. I also don't want to just blow them off, as I'm just now starting to be social again and would hate to shut down that channel by accident.

Should I just plead "prior engagement," or should I suck it up and go along, ghost white beer belly and scars proudly slumping over a new swimsuit? :confused:

Well, you don't hafta swim, even though that's what Manatees do best, right? You could go in just some shorts and T-shirt and hang out on the patio and talk if you'd be more comfortable.

I can never watch myself get stuck with a needle. I always watch the x-ray monitor instead. I have noticed a small strange sensation when the needle comes out.

I guess because it's so big. :confused:

Oh, P.S....

I don't know how long it's been since your surgery, but you aren't supposed to get in a pool for several weeks afterward. So you may have a wonderful excuse to not get into the pool.

P.S.S. Quit stealing my weight loss ticker!!! :heh:

Just kidding. :confused:

Derbygirl, I walk 4miles right after work each day then most weekdays I lift weights at the gym, after that I usually head home and ride my stationary bike while clearing out my dvr, but sometimes a friend of mine calls and I end up walking another 4 miles. On the weekends I either kayak or bike ride on one of the rails to trails. I am thinking of getting a mountain bike and starting that in the mean time I did start my first day of couch to 5k training today. The rest of the tme I just sit on my lazy butt.

Being a Florida cracker Gators have never been to much of a worry to me but water moccassins are another story.

If you lived closer I would loan you one of my kayaks.

Looks like you have had a good deal of weight loss yourself!

JC

Manatee, I think you should just go and wear shorts. Just because it's a pool party, does that mean everyone is going to swim? Personally, I hate chlorine, and if I was invited, I would just wear shorts and say I didn't feel like swimming.

JC I wish I had your energy!

Turns out after further discussion, the swimming thing is completely optional. Hurrah! Definitely going now :confused: