I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

ok...I guess this is a little off topic, but I am single and thinking about the lap band for weight control. Not sure if I meet the requirements though. My current BMI is 39 and I have asthma and knee pain that my doctor and I think are weight related. First question, for all of you that have been banded, Do you think it was worth it? Second question, what types of side effects should I worry about? I've asked my doctor, but working in medicine for many years, I've realized that Doctors can be quite biased. Please let me know your experience. BTW: I've tried almost every weight loss plan known to man and have been unsuccessful for the long term.

Chrispy, I am so sorry to hear about your friend. That's so sad. You're right though. I went through a lot when my boyfriend had stomach cancer and it was so hard to see him suffer. She is at peace now.

Good luck with the guy you've been talking to. I am with you. I think you're right about meeting as soon as possible being best. I have talked to so many guys on the phone that sounded great, and they turned out completely different after meeting.

Foxy, My bmi was about the same as yours when I got banded. I am sure you;ll do fine. My weight loss has been slow, but my dr says it's because I am 54. I still think it's worth it, because I would have gained more weight by now.

It's nice to have lost weight, even if it's not as much as I would like.

Request for approval went to insurance on 7/6. They have 30 days turn-around time - 22 days to go (unless they only count business days then it is 24)!!

Hey everyone! Sorry for being so sparse, I've just been really busy lately.

I'm still single and I'm definitely ok with that. I would like to meet someone, but I'm not desperate, partially because they would get the short end of the stick here, seeing as though I barely have time for myself, mind you someone else. haha.

I hope everyone is doing well and I'm going to try to put in my .02 more often.

Anyway, just dropped in to say hi!!!!!

I am glad you stopped in Neveragain. Do you live in Phoenix? I am coming there (well actually to Mesa) next month. I am excited. I actually love the hot weather.

JC: :eyebrows: Just kiddin'...hehe.

That is a great point, NeverAgain. I don't feel like I have enough "me" time since surgery. Losing weight takes a lot of time and effort. If I had to work on a relationship right now, I really don't think I could keep up with everything else.

I got GREAT news today!! I'm so excited! I called my insurance company and they will pay for my panniculectomy! It's about $8K, so I am very happy because I don't know how I could have done it on my own since I'm still recovering from paying for the band myself.

Anyway, this news has really inspired me to get on the ball. This hasn't been a bad journey, but I'm ready for it to end regardless!

I want my new life!!!!!! ________________

CONGRATS Derby! That is great news!

JC, I'm only 2 lbs from your goal weight, so as long as you don't fly by that in the next couple of weeks i'll be ok. lol

Soooo.....I had my date last night! It went well. We met up for a few drinks and he is MUCH cuter than his pictures. We met around 9, and closed down the place around 1ish. I think we would have stayed later if the place wasn't closing. lol. He is nice, and funny, and I think he's cute. I'm actually a little excited. So time will tell I suppose. Wish me luck!

Chrispy, glad to hear you had a good time.

I will try to behave myself and not race past you.

JC

I am glad you stopped in Neveragain. Do you live in Phoenix? I am coming there (well actually to Mesa) next month. I am excited. I actually love the hot weather.

Are you trying to make a date with me????? :guess

Haha. jk. I'm in Tucson, but I'm often in Phoenix, so PM me a week or so before you get here and we'll see if we can't manage to meet up. There's a few other awesome people in phoenix that you definitely want to meet!

*cough* WasABubbleButt *cough*

I really am enjoying my new found time to myself, but I must admit, I'm very lonely at the moment. With everything that is going on, even the good, I still feel like there's something missing...it's really kind of demoralizing.

I'm sure I'll feel better, but still...

Chrispy, that sounds so encouraging! I am so glad to hear you had a good time.

Neveragain, I have plans to meet up with Bubble. She's pm's me quite often. She's actually a very nice person. She has sent me some Protein shake samples. Tucson is not that close to Mesa but if you're in the area,

I'll be there from 8-8 until 8-15. Ha Ha , about the date. You're young enough to be my son. My son is only a yr older than you. He is skinny. I don't know where he got his metabolism from.

I am so disgusted that I seem to be one of the few people who can't lose weight with the band. It doesn't seem to matter that my portions have gone down dramatically and that I work out regularly. It's making me furious!

Neveragain, that's fabulous news. I wish I had lost enough weight to need PS.

Congratulations!

Neveragain, I completely understand what you mean about feeling like something is missing. That's a very powerful feeling and I felt that way for a long, long time. For years I felt empty and thought having someone to love me would fix that. I wanted a boyfriend so badly, even just to have a boyfriend sometimes. I thought that would fill that void, and I'm sure I also filled that void with food. Over the years I've come to realize that it's up to me to feel fullfilled on my own. It was a long road to get there, but after spending a lot of time with myself and working through some of my issues, I am there and it is a wonderful place to be. I have a great life and I know if I spend the rest of it being single I will still have a wonderful and fullfilling life. I did not feel like that when I was in my early 20's. Maybe it's part of getting older, I'm not sure. And don't get me wrong, I still want to find my life partner very much so, and to start a family. But this time around I don't need him to complete me, just enhance me. I think there is a big difference there. I'm not saying how I feel is "right" or "better", I'm just sharing how my journey has gone and wanted to let you know that I too had felt that way.

Chrispy, I'm really excited for you. Can't wait to hear more about the new guy. Do you have another date planned yet?

chrispygal, thanks for sharing that. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one. The thing that really kind of stinks is that I don't feel like I can truly be happy until I get my career going and start a family.Yes, I'm 22, and I know I'm young. Believe me, I hear it every day. I work at a city golf course. haha. Part of this was brought on by the simple fact that all of my friends are getting married and who do I have? No one. Not even a start. On another crappy note, I think I'm falling in love with a good friend of mine and I just realized that while I was typing. This is not good. I don't know what to do. If you remember me talking about that girl Jayne that I was seeing, we ended up becoming friends...see this is WHY I DON'T stay friends with my exes. Oh my god, this is bad. I don't think I can keep this to myself and I refuse to be one of those people that lets it sit and boil inside me until it tears me apart, piece by piece. Holy shit, there's nothing good about this. I hate being a nice guy. HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLP!

Ladies, if you ever wanted to know how a guy's mind works^^^