I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

He is shy!

Plant one on him!!

When shy people get caught up in awkwardness the loose there minds and find every subsequent experiance awkward!

Plant one on him!

Talking from experiance.

JC

Kristen

I hope this makes you feel a little better.

It's hard to see one's EX doing something for someone that he never did for you. Take heart. Once he gets pass the need to impress her(now I've got you)thing, he will treat her the same as he did you. My Ex did the same. I tried to warn his new soon to be wife, but she wouldn't listen. She said he's changed, as if she had some magic powers and he didn't care as much for me or he would've treated me the same. As time went by, she was treated the same as I was.

Remember, just because a leophard is not growling or biting, doesn't mean his spots have changed. You deserve the BEST!

misscarol

Denise

My 6 yr relationship started with this guy calling me to ask me out and after about 5 months, I finally agreed. I was not attracted to him and there wasn't any chemistry. After about a yr of casual dating, we went out and it was like the stars were shinning down on us. I knew that night that I'd fallen hard for him. We dated on and off for all this time with both of us dating other people. The last yr we have been dating only each other and we have gotten close. Except for his hesitation to commit, things are good.

When I met my EX, I was instantly star struck. We went through a whirl-wind romance and married 7 months later. I wonder now if the chemistry kept me from seeing some of the things I should have been paying attention to. I guess what I'm trying to say is that time tells a lot. If the guy is nice, you may want to give him a chance. Unless you have someone else to go out with, are you really wasting your time? Continue looking and checking the personals if you want and good luck in your pursuit.

misscarol

Chrispy, I am with JC. He is just shy. He wouldn't want to spend any more time with you by now, if he didn't feel something too. He would be making up excuses not to see you anymore. I am shy too, so it would be hard for me to take JC's advice and just plant one on him. Maybe the next time you hug, you could turn your face and at least kiss his cheek?

Carole, Thanks so much for telling me how things changed along the way for you. I probably would have seen him again, if he hadn't called me after I got home and he had several more drinks. He said some things that in my opinion were in very poor taste so I think he showed his true colors.

If I find someone else online that wants to take me out, believe me, I will try again. It gets depressing, but I do want to keep trying. I can always hope that I will meet someone out there in the real world, which would be my preference. It's so much easier than the online thing, but I never seem to meet anyone any other way, unfortunately.

Thanks Misscarol for your kind words..I really need them ..Ive been doing ok otherwise..Starting to loose weight again..think i was stuck on a plateau for a while..Also booked a vacation for my 21st b-day..Going to lake george again With myself, my cousin danny, and maybe a guy friend..

It's been quiet with our single bandsters. How is everyone doing?? Alysa hon, how is everything? I've been thinking of you!

So want to hear something weird? I have a secret admirer from High School. He found me on myspace and wrote me a love letter and said that I still take his breath away 20 years later. lol. At first I thought someone was playing a joke on me, but nope it's true. He's too afraid to let me know who he is. It's absolutely killing me! lol

I've been trying to adjust to having some restriction again 5.0 cc just like a GT Mustang! I feel I had a great weigh-in; (234) net gain of 8 pounds after a month with absolutly no restriction!

I did not make the 80 miles on Pinellas trail :-( lots of mishapps; however I did manage to total 40 miles not too bad. The weather was just awesome.

Uploaded new pics on photobucket under pinellas trail.

str8jacket29 - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Chrispy you seem to have the darn juju working for you, very cool. I hope he keeps you guessing for a while. It's somtimes more fun having a mystery person out there.

Just wanted to check-in hope everyone is well. I have been trying to help people on some of the other threads and haven't felt like I was welcome. This has got to be the friendliest group I have found. Thank you to everyone for treating me like one of the family. You are the best in my book.

Hey Alysa thinking of you.

JC

Surgery Date 7/17 that is... :heh:

(i figured that title would get the single's attention )

I am so excited...

Had my shrink visit this a.m. all ok on that front..

(have her really fooled :biggrin1:)

I have my pre-op visit 7/6 so I will have 16 days of my last suppers:hungry:

JC I think that's a great weigh in for being completely unfilled! I'm sure you're relieved to get some fill back though. It's a love/hate relationship. You need the fill, but man oh man does it suck when you have too much of it! lol

Very cute Indigogirl.

The secret admirer lives in FL by the way, but what's killing me is just not knowing who he is. It's flattering and all, but it's getting a little creepy getting "you're so beautiful" messages from someone who knows who I am, yet I have no idea who they are. Yep, I get all the stalkers. lol

Thanks Chrispy, your right I am relieved and feel successful. I just got back from the gym. I sure hope I can keep up the intensity level of excercise with out the fear of overeating driving me.

I see your point about creepiness, I guess you ladies have to think on a different wavelength than us guys.

At least he is in Florida and not close by. Geez is it hot down here!

Congrats Indiogirl bet your excited!????

JC

Thanks Chrispy, your right I am relieved and feel successful. I just got back from the gym. I sure hope I can keep up the intensity level of excercise with out the fear of overeating driving me.

I see your point about creepiness, I guess you ladies have to think on a different wavelength than us guys.

At least he is in Florida and not close by. Geez is it hot down here!

Congrats Indiogirl bet your excited!????

JC

Chrispy - I thought that title would get you I think it's sort of kool to have an admirer - but i would be careful.... That's the Mom in me talking and I agree with JC at least he's in FL and i would demand that if he wants to continue to correspond with you then he must identify himself. Do you belong to classmates - is that how he found you??? or is that how he found your name and says he knows you...

JC - Thanks - I am VERY EXCITED - I jogged in the pool for about 40 minutes when i got home from work - my car said it was 114 - but at least it's DRY heat and I have good a/c in the car, house and i have a pool. But in the middle of the summer - that (the pool) won't be cool - it will be like a bath.. JC guys get stalked too.. how about that astornat lady in Fl or was it TX....

I could use a good stalkin lol.

It was Texas to Florida but that was a woman stalking woman.

You are right about guys being stalked I will never forget that Fatal Attraction movie wow!

Lmao JC! I suppose a good, clean stalking here and there can be a good thing. I think I've pissed off my stalker though. I asked him to please tell me who he is, or it's going to start to creep me out a bit. Well, apprently that's highly offensive. Oh well, I guess I'll never know......lol. Oh, and Indio he found my on myspace by doing a search on our high school.

So lets review my dating options/possibilities right now:

1. Ex boyfriend who has started emailing/texting me again.

2. Stalker who now won't talk to me because I want to know who he is.

3. Hot guy who wants to just get laid and send me dirty pictures.

4. Very nice IT guy who I've gone out with 3 times, but haven't heard from all week. grrrr...

5. 26 year old divorcee on Match who is convinced that I'll be interested in him because he has a trust fund coming his way.

And we wonder why I'm single!!!!! lol

Makes you wonder if there are any normal people out there! lol

I stopped to get gas and propel on the way to the gym yesterday and this guy at the checkout was trying to find every excuse possible to tell the clerk he bought a house and blah blah blah....

I guess that juju you've got going is mixed one ju=good other ju=not so ...

JC

Jc I am so glad you feel welcome here. We love having you here, that's for sure! I am trying to figure out which thread you felt unwelcome in. I have actually never seen you post anywhere else. I mainly post in the slow losers thread, and the over 50's thread. Then I check new posts and decide if I have anything to say. I get really tired of reading the ones that were just banded that don't want to follow their doctor's rules and eat before they are supposed to.

Chrispy, I think that the new guy you have seen 3 times is going to end up being a nice relationship. I really hope so! You should really feel good about yourself that so many people are paying attention!

Indigo Girl, I want details on that date!! How did you meet him, and how did it go?!

I have been enjoying plenty of fish. I have been getting a lot of messages with other single women. That's okay with me. I need to get to know more single people. I am going to have lunch with one of them tomorrow.

They are planning a get together the first weekend in August for Oregon

Plent of fish singles that want to go. It really sounds like fun.

Well that's all that's new with me!